Clinical depression
by 3ohE
Summary: Freddie's life is turned upside down as his mother tries to hang on to what she lost many years ago. Rated M for disturbing sexual content.Discontinued
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with iCarly, I'm just a guy and this is my twisted fanfic. I will not repeat this so that goes for every other chapter of this story.

**Are You Down With The Sickness**

Merissa Benson looked on at her son Freddie as He walked out the door on his way to school and all but one thought played through her mind, and that was how much he looked like his father. And with that a switch was flipped in her inner psyche.

…

…

…

**17:30 PM**

Freddie was all but beat from a meeting with his fellow AV club members and another web cast of iCarly, so when he entered his apartment he didn't care for the eerie silence playing the apartment or that his overbearing and overprotective mother was no where to be seen; when she should have been all over him about tick baths and whatever else she could think of to keep him safe and healthy. But all of that went unnoticed as all that was on Freddie's mind was to get to his bed and rest his eyes for a moment; that being code for "I'll sleep my ass off ". As Freddie entered his room he swung the door shut but failed to notice there was no click, with little effort he kicked his shoes off and slumped into his bed face first and started to drift out of consciousness when a light touch at the back of the head brought him back to life. Freddie felt fingers comb through his hair slowly, he was slightly groggy but that soon wore off and He recognized the fingers.

"Mom?"

After years of tick baths from his mother Freddie would know his mother's touch even in the thick of blindness. He waited for a reply but got none; the fingers pulled out of his hair and he could hear her give out a sigh. Giving up on getting any sleep with a sigh of his own Freddie flipped himself onto his back and stared up at his mother, she was sitting on the right side of his bed smiling down at him with what can only be described as a look of adoration. He waited for Her to say something but She held Her tongue and looked down at him, as he was about to ask if something was wrong she moved her hand to his face and brushed his left cheek.

"Freddie you do know how much I love you right?" She asked

"Yeah I do" Freddie answered uncertainly as he pondered at what was going on.

"Good because all we have is each other, just you and me"

She said as she leaned down and kissed him on the forehead, she pulled back but not too far only a few inches between their faces, and moved her right hand and rested it on Freddie's right next to his waist to keep him in place. Freddie looked up into his mother's glazed eyes and started to squirm under their gaze. Marissa Benson looked down at her son and could tell he was starting to feel uncomfortable with the look she was giving him and she gave out a soft chuckle.

"You are so much like your father you know" She didn't wait for a response "He also got uncomfortable when I gave him this look, I miss your father so much Freddie and looking at you…. it's like I'm staring right at him"

She gave another soft chuckle and looked back down at Freddie who still wore the same Uncomfortable expression on his face.

"Do you know how I used to do to get your father to calm down when he was giving me that look?"

And this time she did wait for him to say something; Freddie had started to shake a bit as she looked on for an answer He didn't want to give.

"No" Freddie managed to croak out.

Marissa closed the gap between their faces and kissed her son on the mouth. Freddie's brain stopped as soon as his mother's lips made contact with his own, she kissed Him softly and slowly as if to savor the kiss. He could feel Her tongue probing for entry into his mouth, Freddie had no intension of opening his mouth; that is until He felt Her right hand move to his lap and moving towards his groin area which made Him give a short gasp opening his mouth enough for Marissa to deepen the kiss with Her tongue and explore his mouth.

Freddie didn't know what to think or do…...He wanted to push Her off and scream bloody Mary at Her but He couldn't ,He was paralyzed and so He just laid there, closed his eyes and tried to think of a place far far away, but no matter how hard He tried he could feel Her hands as they explored his body, unzip his pants, slip into his boxers and give Him a hand job long enough to get him erect, nor could He stop the sounds of Her husky lust filled voice from reaching his ears as she rocked back and forth on top of Him calling his father's name, and her nails digging into his chest when she reached Her climax. In the end though what had disturbed him most was how good it felt when He came as well.

When she was done she slowly extracted herself from him, hopping off the bed she walked out of the room returning a few minutes later with a slightly wet towel and once again sat herself down beside him and started to clean up the mess she made him make. Freddie hadn't moved since the beginning of the ordeal maybe some spasms as he came at the end but no movement overall, He felt as though he were paralyzed but very aware of his surroundings. He could smell the sex in the air, every time He took a breath it entered his nostrils making him want to gag, not because the smell disgusted him but because it reminded him of what had happened a few minutes ago and who it is was with. Freddie felt dirty violated and ashamed, and He wanted to cry…no He really wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come.

Marissa wiped the last of the semen off Freddie and looked at her son, He didn't meet her eyes nor did He move, He was just staring up at the ceiling his face made of stone and leaving no clue for his dying innocence. Marissa Benson felt shame overcome her as she stared at her son who had remained stoic throughout the entire ordeal, she didn't want to see him like this but her will to resist her craving for what she lost many years ago had failed her, she knew it was wrong but…She couldn't help herself… not anymore.

…

…

…

It had been a while since his mother had left his room and proclaimed to go make dinner, asking if He had any requests but that went unanswered. Slowly Freddie sat upright using his elbows to prop himself up, He swung his legs to the side of the bed and felt shivers run up his spine as his feet touched the floor. He got up and headed for the bathroom, when He got there He started to strip off his clothes, to any normal person Freddie would have seemed calm and collected but He was anything but collected, in his mind everything was in turmoil with little ant men looking for the 411 on how to deal with being molested by your only parent.

Freddie stepped into the shower and let the hot water rain down on his body failing to notice He had not balanced it out with the cold water. After a few minutes of being cooked alive Freddie switched on the cold water and let the heat even out, He briefly took a look at his body and could make out where his mother's nails had dug into Him and had multiple feelings go through Him; first sickness ,then shame, and finally anger. Anger being the one that stuck, he couldn't believe after years of his mother's over protectiveness it would be her He needs protection from. Freddie wasn't stupid He knew what his mother had done to Him; at this point Freddie couldn't stomach the thought of it and felt bile rise up his throat as He puked all over himself.

Freddie continued to dry heave for a few seconds until He got control of himself, his vision was a slightly blurry but that was fine with him; he wouldn't want to see the mess He made on himself anyway. The water had washed most of the vomit off Him and down the drain when Freddie started to clean himself up with some shampoo which overwhelmed the stink of his vomit, He didn't scrub himself to death like how they do in the movies he had to chuckle and roll his eyes at that, He figured the first round with the hot water had washed away any impurity off Him, his beet red skin had to be proof of that.

As He stepped out of the shower Freddie felt calm and his thoughts had started to focus as well. He picked up a towel off the rack to dry himself and sat on top of the closed toilet and started to think about what came next. Freddie felt like a war was being raged in his head as He thought of what to do; it was like He had two personalities in his head contradicting one another.

'You should tell somebody' he thought but immediately pushed it aside as another thought made itself known

'And then what? Have them tell the police and take her away? All I have is her, when they take her away I'll be all alone and end up in some social services orphanage' Freddie grit his teeth at the thought of his mother being locked up or him being alone

' Its better than the alternative of having her fondle and get off on me every other night and developing some sick psychological complex, which I will if this keeps up'

'Maybe it won't happen again' Freddie thought with a hopeful pause 'maybe She just needed to get it out of her system, besides it wasn't so bad at the end '

"Arggghh!" Freddie growled frustration burying his head in his hands

The last part had made Him sick; he hated the fact that deep down he knew he had enjoyed the sex. Freddie could feel his stomach churn at the thought of it. Freddie's mind was deep in thought until a knock at the apartment door brought Him back to reality.

…

…

…

Marissa Benson was about to tell Freddie that dinner would be ready in a few minutes so he would finish up when she heard a knock at the door. She was glad Freddie wasn't around to answer it; she didn't want him talking to anyone before they talked and she explained about what happened earlier. She reached the door and opened it to find their neighbor Carly, she had that her happy go lucky smile plastered on her face. She had seen the way Freddie would look at Carly; with love but the girl ignored Him time and time again, Marissa didn't see what Freddie saw in her, she was just another pretty face but it didn't matter now she could give him all the loving he deserved.

"Hello Mrs. Benson" Carly said oblivious to Freddie's mother's thoughts

"Hello Carly do you need something?" She asked

"Yes, Freddie to be exact" Carly said in a playful manner

"Oh I'm sorry Freddie is in the shower right now but I'll tell him you stopped by when he gets out of the shower"

"Oh, ok thanks Mrs. Benson" Carly answered in a wary voice from the look She was getting from Freddie's mom

Marissa shut the door before Carly had even turned to leave, turning back to the apartment she saw Freddie come into the room his hair still a bit wet. Giving Him a nervous smile she waited for him to say something.

"Who was it?" Freddie asked suspiciously

"Just Carly, She needed you for something" before Freddie could reply she continued "you can check up on her after dinner."

Freddie gave her a look she couldn't read as she motioned for him to sit. She went to the kitchen counter and returned with two plates of spaghetti meatballs and laid one plate in front of Freddie. Freddie stared down at his food never making eye contact with his mother unsure of what to say or do as an awkward silence started to build around them.

"Freddie" She called out to the other side of the table

For the first time since they sat down Freddie looked up at his mother with a sullen look on his face which Marissa had to smile at because He looked so adorable.

Freddie let his eyes answer her call before fixing his eyes back on his food

"About what happened, I'm sure you're pretty confused right now" She said as she prepared to explain their situation while keeping him in touch to her being his mother. The psychology she picked up on her way to becoming a nurse would serve her well today.

Freddie didn't reply but waited for her to continue and explain how she could do this to him.

Marissa knew Freddie wasn't an idiot but she knew how she could get Freddie to understand that she was lonely and needed him today. She had drilled it into his head since he was a child that all they had was each other and knew just how much he depended on her even with his slight rebellions caused by the two other females in his life. She was going to use his love to get him to understand her need for him.

"Freddie you know how much I love you" she said but paused "-And what happened was just me showing you just how much I love you." She said her voice soft filling his ears with love but then she took a deeper more serious tone.

"But you can't tell anyone about this because they wouldn't understand our love. You know they would take you away from me leaving you all alone, you wouldn't want that would you?"

"No" Freddie agreed his eyes darting up at her filled with uncertainly

"Good because I need you Freddie, I'm so lonely and all I have is you" She said softly her voice filled with an excruciating amount of vulnerability it threatened to break Freddie's heart.

Getting up from the table apparently done with her food Freddie watched his mother's form retreat into the kitchen only to return a moment later, She walked over to him and bent down to his level and kissed Him on the cheek and drifted down to his neck and sucked on it a while leaving a hickey.

"Now all those ungrateful girls at your school know that you belong to someone. Just you and me right Fredward?" by girls meaning Carly

He silently gave a nod and she disappeared into her bedroom. Freddie gave one last look at his food and decided He wasn't hungry so He got up and took his plate into the fridge noting his mother hadn't finished hers as well. When standing in the kitchen Freddie felt a shudder run through Him, He looked around at the apartment and felt something was different but couldn't or wouldn't place what it was. Freddie was about to go into his room when He remembered that Carly had stopped by, so he made for the apartment door but stopped mid stride as He remembered the souvenir left by his mother on his neck. He went back into his room grabbed a scarf, which would have to do for now. When Freddie was out of his apartment He felt relieved for some reason but He didn't dwell too long on that and made his way over to the Shay apartment.

…

…

Carly was lazing around on the couch when she heard a knock on the front door, knowing it was Freddie.

"Come in" She shouted

Freddie crept into the apartment with an anxious look on his face. He had his back pack and was wearing a blue shirt, black jeans and some chucks, but what caught Cary's attention was the out of place scarf He had on but She decided against asking probably his mother's idea.

"Hey Freddie, You ok?" Carly asked getting up from the couch

"Yeah I'm ok ….so my mom told me you needed me for something?' Freddie said deciding to get to the point and leave so as to get his chizz together.

"Ah yeah, my laptop won't charge so I was hoping you could take a look at it for me"

"Sure where is it?" He said wanting to get this over with

As Carly motioned Freddie over to her laptop on the kitchen counter, she observed that he was detached and that she did not have his full attention which is very unusual but thought nothing of it. Freddie fiddled with her laptop power cable a bit and when He would bend it in certain ways it would work but as soon as he let go of the cable it stopped charging. Freddie got up and looked at Carly

"The charger is acting faulty but we can share mine until you buy a new one" He gave her a small smile as He pulled out the charger from his bag

"Thanks Freddie, I don't know what I'd do without you" returning his smile with her happy go lucky smile

"No problem" Freddie said zipping up his bag and getting up to go

This struck Carly as weird; Freddie usually tried to make conversation or anything to get her attention, peacocking if you will. Carly wanted to know what was up with him as he seemed fine a few hours ago, now he carried himself as if he wanted to be rid of her as fast as he could.

"Hey Freddie?"

She called out catching his shoulder with her right hand, as soon as the hand made contact with his shoulder Freddie batted it away and made a 180 degree and gave her a panic stricken look but as soon as she saw it, it was gone. Carly had a bewildered look on her face as she starred at him waiting for an explanation for the dramatic reaction.

"Sorry about that, it's a reflex from these mother son self defense classes my mom has us taking" He lied not a good one but it would do for now.

Carly could only nod still shocked at what had happened, 'had Freddie just shied from her touch?' she silently wondered

"Hey I got a ton of homework to do so I'll see you tomorrow" Freddie said in a hurried manner as He exited the shay apartment.

Freddie stood in the hallway his back to the shay apartment and looking to his own, He didn't enter though he just stood there. After a few minutes of pointless standing Freddie entered his apartment and walked as quickly as he could into his room and shut the door behind him. He stood in his dark room for a few seconds breathing hard; looking around his room he felt something was different. He dropped his bag onto the floor with a thud and kicked off his shoes while striping of his shirt, his pants soon to follow. After striping to his boxers He put on a comfortable t-shirt and got into bed, He felt exhausted but when He closed his eyes sleep did not come. His body might have been tired but his brain was going a hundred miles per hour as He battled his conscience.

'All her life she took care of you as a single parent and never asked for much, giving into her once in a while is the least I could do' he thought sorrowfully but refuted the thought 'She is my mother, it's not right!'

'She is all you have; if she is taken away you will be alone'

'I'll have Carly and Sam' Freddie thought hopefully

'And what do you think they will think off you once this gets out? They would be disgusted and reject you'

Freddie shook his head denying the thought 'n...no, no they wouldn't they are my friends, they would understand'

'Do you really believe that?'

Freddie hesitated 'yes'

'Deep down you know that the only reason Carly has you around is because you make the tech stuff work for iCarly and Sam only tolerates your presence just because Carly does, you can see it in their eyes. The two people you call your best friends may care for you but there are only teenagers, as soon as they hear you're literarily a motherfucker things will never be the same, maybe they'll keep you around out off pity but sooner or later they will leave and you will be alone. Do you want to be alone?' Freddie could feel despair setting in.

'No' Freddie thought after a pause, his mind made up.

*tap* *tap*

A knock at the door brought Freddie out of his head. He sat up from his bed to watch his door creak open and his mother silently slip into the room filling it with brief light coming from the hallway. She shut the door and made her way over to Freddie and sat on the right side of his bed.

"How did things go with Carly?"

"Good, She was having problems with her laptop and I helped her out" He answered quietly.

"Kept our secret?" She asked bending down towards his face

"Yes "

"Good, now I'm going to give you a reward for being such a good boy" She whispered huskily into his ear as she lowered him back down on his back.

She pulled away from his face and moved back into her upright position; she gripped his blanket and threw it off him leaving it at his feet. Freddie watched as his mother clutched his boxers and pulled them down to his ankles, then climbing onto the bed and on top of Freddie as she pulled his top up a few inches exposing his navel. She bent down and started kiss his stomach and then focused on his belly button, kissing and licking it. Freddie moved his arms to the side of the bed and dug his hands into his sheets as she started to trail kisses down his stomach towards his groin. Marissa pulled back to look at her son, He had his eyes closed and hands gripping the sheets. She saw his member and it was erect and with that she bent down and took it whole into her mouth. She slowly licked and sucked on his member, while her fingers raked on his chest. Freddie could feel it coming, He was about to lose himself. As her head moved up and down on Freddie's shaft, Marissa cupped his testicles in her right hand and stroked his thigh with her left, with that Freddie couldn't hold himself back anymore and came into her mouth. She pulled back as quick as she could but Freddie arched upwards spraying himself into her mouth and all over his stomach.

**..**

Freddie was panting wildly as Marissa cleaned off some of the come that was on her face. Freddie guessed she had swallowed she did not spit anything out. When she finished cleaning up her face and his stomach she walked over to Freddie and gave him a soft kiss to the forehead.

"Good night Fredward, I love you" She said as She walked out off his room

Freddie sat in the growing darkness breathing hard and starring wide eyed at the ceiling as the light from the hall way faded along with his mother's exit, and that's when it came to him; the reason why his room and entire apartment felt different sending shivers up and down his spine.

"It doesn't feel like home anymore" He mumbled quietly as a few tears spilled from his eyes and a smile on his face.

___**T**__o __**B**__e __**C**__ontinued_

**A.N:** Reviews are always welcome, and for any mistakes let me know and I'll fix it right up.

3ohe


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Sunday haze**

**Shay apartment**

"Hey Freddie?" Carly said catching Freddie's shoulder

As the hand made contact with his shoulder Freddie batted it away and made a 180 degree turn and gave her a panic stricken look but as soon as she saw it, it was gone and replaced by stone, his face unreadable. Freddie started to walk towards Carly, when he took two steps towards her Carly took one shaky step back being overcome by an irrational fear from the cold and dead look in his eyes. It didn't take long for Freddie to reach her, snatching Carly's wrist and directing her towards the couch and throwing her there. Carly felt afraid but also a sense of excitement from Freddie's new attitude, as soon as Carly hit the couch Freddie was on top of her and kissing her full on the mouth with such force that Carly was sure she could taste a bit of blood in her mouth from the impact of his lips and hers. Carly tried to fight him off but couldn't keep it up as Freddie slid his hands down her jeans, and into her panties.

Freddie slid one finger into her causing Carly to give a slight whimper in both pleasure and fear, she felt the smooth lubrication as his fingers slid into her and wondered if she had wet herself in the gist of fear. Soon her mind clouded and her vision started to swim, Carly gave into Freddie and started kissing him back. Breaking away from the slightly bloody tongue fight, Freddie pulled back from Carly locking her dazed eyes with his as he unbuttoned her jeans and slid them clean off her and tossing them to the far wall and was soon followed by her panties. Freddie grabbed the hem of her t-shirt and pulled it over her head and ripped her bra off her in one single motion. Freddie sucked on her breasts and nibbled on her nipples, Carly's breathing was getting erratic as she gave out cries of pleasure.

Freddie stopped focusing on her erect pencil erasers and started trailing kisses down her stomach until reaching her cunt; Carly instinctively brought up her knees and spread her legs further apart to give Freddie a good look at her fat cat. Freddie started to lick Carly none too ferociously to be rewarded with Carly loosing control herself while giving out half moans and biting down on her lower lip, her naked body glistening with Sweat and rubbing against the couch.

'Why haven't we done this before' Carly thought as she tried spread her legs future apart.

Carly having a hard controlling her pleasure grabbed Freddie's head thrusting him deeper into her and giving out moans of pleasure. She could feel it coming, she was about to come.

"I'm…I...I'm about to come" she thought trying to warn him but only gave out more moans and yelps of pleasure.

Freddie as if oblivious to her cries and moans continued lick her. Carly's vision was getting dim and blurry as she reached euphoria

"Oh Freddie!" Carly cried out as she shot up from her bed

Panting hard Carly looked around her empty room in confusion and deduced that it had all been a dream. Slumping back into her bed with a smile on her face and her breathing still a bit labored, she felt a wetness between her legs but payed it no mind as her mind was preoccupied with other thoughts. The dream still fresh in her mind was disturbing, she had dreamt about boys before; even Freddie made into one of her risqué dreams once in a while but it never went beyond the romance and the breath taking kissing.

After a few minutes collecting her thoughts Carly got out of bed and headed for the shower. Carly stepped into the shower and let the semi hot water rain down her body, her thoughts always returning to Freddie and what had happened yesterday. She figured his reaction to her touch is what had set her off into having that dream. Yesterday she had seen a new side of him not the wimpy love sick dork, though she'd never call him that to his face or anyone's at that. This other side of Freddie was nothing but fantasy when she thought about it but still it had scared her, and after the dream she was longing for him to look at her that way again. Just thinking about him that way was starting to get her moist, and with evidence from her sheets she was not wetting herself the smell was not piss funky. She could guess what was happening to her, she had heard enough stories in the girl's bathroom to know that this was a product of her racy thoughts. She didn't know what this new side to Freddie she saw was real or not but she would bring it out real or not.

Carly finished her shower got dressed and went downstairs to find the apartment devoid of life; she hadn't seen Spencer since yesterday when he went over to sacko's. She went into his room to find him slumped face first onto his bed.

"Rough night" she deduced as she walked out

She was about to make herself a snack and head back to her room, when there was a knock on the door. She was seized by a bit of a thrill as she thought it might be Freddie.

**The Streets**

**10:38 am**

Sam Puckett rounded the corner to Carly's apartment building muttering soft curses to herself as she walked. She had left her house early today; she just had to get away from the place she called home for a few hours. Her mother had brought home another sleaze bag to 'play' around with, this was nothing new but what had made her leave was the guy kept looking at her in pervy ways and she just couldn't take the noises they made anymore.

"Damn it, I shouldn't be up this early on a Sunday" Sam mumbled as she entered the building lobby

She had decided against taking the elevator but as she was about to take the stairs the elevator dinged open and in it was Mrs. Benson. They stared at it each other a while but Mrs. Benson seemed to be in a hurry and continued on her way out the building, Sam guessed it must have been some sort hospital emergency, she had seen a few ambulances in a hurry to get somewhere on her way here.

Deciding on taking the newly arrived elevator Sam was at Carly's apartment door in no time. She was going to barge in but thought to knock for once and she did so; she knocked twice.

The door swung open with an expectant Carly on the other side but as soon as they made eye contact her face fell a little but then gave her usual smile.

"Since when do you knock" Carly said with a bit of a humor in her voice and motioned for Sam to enter

"I don't know just thought I'd give it a shot, so you expecting anyone?"

"No why?"

"I don't know it's just you gave me a weird look at the door "

"What look?"

"Ahh…never mind it was probably just me"

"Uhm ok, so what brings you over here so early I thought you'd still be asleep by now"

"Yeah well I just had to get out of the house today" Sam replied with a sad smile

Carly got the sense that something was troubling Sam but didn't want to pry. She hated that even though they were best friends Sam didn't talk to her about her problems, but that was just Sam always the suffer in silence type, still that didn't mean she would give up she would have to ask Sam about it later.

"I was about to make a snack you want anything?" Carly asked

"I'll have whatever you'll have"

Carly and Sam settled into the couch and watched TV when Carly was done making them a snack. They settled into a comfortable routine of eating and watching TV with Carly was thinking of ways of asking Sam to open up on why she spends so much time there instead of home. She already had a couple reasons why but She couldn't be sure, She knew Sam's mother was a drunk and all but she suspected there was more to it and hoped Sam would open up to her about it.

"Hey Sam?" Carly began

"Yeah?" she droned half listening

"You know you can tell me anything right? Me being your best friend and all" she added with a bit of nervous humor

"Yeah" she said as she turned from the TV to stare at Carly

"So is everything ok? At home I mean" as soon as Carly asked the question Sam turned back to the TV

"Everything's fine, as fine as it can be anyway" she replied unemotionally

"Come on Sam I know something's wrong, you spent the entire week here and when you do go back home your back here on a Sunday before noon?" Carly said getting annoyed.

"If you don't want me here Carly then just say so, there's no need to make this a bigger deal than it is" Sam replied getting up and heading for the door

"No wait Sam its not that, I'm just making sure everything is o.k., I don't mind having you around you don't have to go"

Sam stopped half way to the door. She hated lying to Carly but she didn't want to burden her with her stupid problems.

"Thanks Carls but everything is fine, ok?" Carly gave a slight nod "Great but I guess you are right I do spend much time here, I better go"

"No wait u just got here" Carly replied feeling deflated

"Nah I better get out of here I'm sure my mom is missing me" She lied with a small smile.

Carly watched as Sam left with a fake smile planted on her face. Carly felt bad for what had happened

'Sam must hate me' she thought,

'I'll treat her to a smoothie tomorrow that should fix things'

Carly went back to the couch and watched TV, but her thoughts were soon invaded by Freddie.

**Hallway**

Sam stood in the hallway her back to the Shay apartment while looking on to the Benson apartment. She felt stupid for leaving Carly because right now she didn't know where to go. Home was the last place she wanted to be but she had no where else to go but home. As Sam turned to leave she heard someone give out a short yelp followed by a dull thud, she then turned to the direction of the sounds and they were coming from the Benson apartment. Sam smiled as a plan started to formulate in her mind.

**Benson apartment **

One Fredward Benson sat on the stairs of his apartment fire escape/balcony a glass in hand starring off into space as a radio he had placed outside with him played at a random station. Freddie hadn't slept last night his thoughts too lively for sleep; he had slept for an hour at most today around 7 am but had gotten a wake up call from his dear old mother shortly after. She hadn't seemed to care or notice his sleepless state as she once again needed a fix on her sexual needs this time though she had made him return last nights reward. Freddie was sure He could still taste her if he tried hard enough. Still he couldn't blame his mother for letting her loneliness get the better of her mind. She was sick and if this was what it took to keep her all right he could live with it…for now anyway. As that thought ran through his head He felt ashamed and selfish in a way, giving into her sickness just so he can have his "mommy" there to take care of him. Freddie was glad his mother had left; he needed some time alone, she had left for an emergency at the clinic. Apparently there was a small out break of some sort of virus during a high school basketball tournament and they needed all the hands they could get to treat the players and fans.

Freddie looked down at his glass and noticed it was now empty; He didn't even remember drinking it all, maybe the first and second bitter sips. He was drinking vodka and even though he knew that it wasn't the best of ideas he just needed it to knock Him out for the rest of his time alone, because right now he was finding it hard to shut down his brain. Consequences of being a genius he thought with a small smile.

He stumbled a bit as he walked back into the house to pour himself more of the good stuff. Freddie went in to the kitchen and opened the cabinet under the sink which was where his mother, though claiming not to drink hid her emergency supply of alcohol. This time Freddie took the entire bottle not wanting to make anymore trips back and fourth. As he was passing the living room he stumbled on a corner of the carpet and tripped giving out a short yelp in surprise and a thud was heard as he dropped to the floor like a sack of potatoes. He slowly picked himself up with little grunts before being back on two feet. Freddie jumped a little when he heard a knock at the door.

Freddie stood still in the living room looking at the door; He thought it might be Carly wanting to talk about his weirdness yesterday.

'Maybe if I keep quite long enough she'll leave' Freddie thought warily

"Open the door Fredward I can hear you thinking in there" Sam said in a hushed tone so as not to alert Carly of her lingering presence

Freddie still didn't move deciding on his next move, thinking Sam was here to kick His ass over what happened with Carly. Deciding to investigate he walked to the door and opening it just a crack using the door chain to keep her from barging in.

"What do you want Sam?" he questioned

"What I can't drop by to say hi to a friend"

"Were friends?" he asked slightly shocked at the term she used

"Yeah whatever now let me in" Sam said in a rushed tone not wanting Carly to come out and find her there

"Sorry can't my mum is sterilizing the apartment right now, maybe another time hey" Freddie said as he was shutting the door but a foot prevented him from closing the door

"I saw your mommy leave an hour ago Fredward now let me in" She said through gritted teeth, she couldn't believe the nerd was giving her such resistance He is usually like putty in her hands.

"Hold on" Freddie mumbled quietly but Sam caught it or at least she thought she did as the door slammed shut

Freddie took the vodka bottle to the fire escape and returned to the door and hoped that Sam had not heard him and left. He swung the door open just as she was turning away, He was going to close the door shut again but she spun around faster than he could close the door. Sam stared daggers at him as she walked in and He gave her a nervous smile while leading her to the living room.

Sam looked around the place clearly disturbed by its neat and tidiness so much she couldn't stand it, it reminded her of hospitals. She heard a bit of music coming from the fire escape/balcony and started towards it. She thought it weird that Freddie hadn't said a thing as she wondered deeper into the apartment but knew he kept his eyes trained on her, though she couldn't see him she could feel his eyes on her. She walked out on to the fire escape/balcony and saw a bottle of vodka and the camping chair Freddie was sitting on the time they shared their first kiss, she was glad he was behind her and away from her face because she was blushing.

'A bloody chair sends you down girly lane, unbelievable' she silently chided herself

"Sam?" Freddie questioned walking past her and switching off the radio

"Yeah?" she replied without meeting his gaze.

"Why are you here?" He hoped it didn't sound too rude, but he just needed some alone time today

"I just need a place to hang out for a few hours" she replied her voice low and deflated

"Why didn't you just go over to Carly's?"

"I don't want to bother her today"

"But decided to bother me" Freddie said while rolling his eyes

"Look Fredward if you want me gone I'll go"

Sam was getting annoyed at his attitude today, She hadn't thought He'd complain so much all too happy to have a smoking hot babe like herself all to himself, not that she would have let him get anywhere near her junk though.

"Ok then please leave" he said nonchalantly, Freddie was tired and wasn't up for whatever scheme or prank she wanted to pull

Sam looked at Freddie incredulously she hadn't thought He'd kick her out him being such a push over and all. Sam felt her blood run cold for some reason, though she'd never admit it she always thought she could count on Freddie here to be there for whatever she needed.

"Fine" she hissed at him and turned to leave.

Sam was about to walk out the door when Freddie's hand grabbed her wrist and spun Her around to meet His eyes. Freddie looked into Sam's eyes and could have sworn She looked like She was about to cry, but that quickly vanished and replaced by a stony unemotional look.

"Look Sam you can stay, but I need you to promise me one thing"

"What?"

"No tricks, no pranks and no insults, I'm having a bad day so none of that ok?"

"Ok no tricks" she said not meeting his eyes

Freddie led Sam back to the fire escape and laid out a second camping chair for her, she sat down without a word and Freddie joined her at the side as he pulled out the vodka and poured himself a fresh glass. He noted that Sam's eyes were trained at him as he took a sip, he could feel the liquid go down his throat with a burning sensation but he didn't mind, it was all part of the experience. Feeling the weight of Sam's stare Freddie couldn't bring himself to care, if she just kept staring at him and said nothing it would be a bit weird but he would take that over her trash talking any day. It wasn't his first time drinking alcohol; he had a glass of Champaign and a beer last Christmas but He'd never had anything this strong so he hoped he would be out like a light soon enough.

"Since when does a nub like you drink "she said finally seeing he didn't care for her glare

"You'd be surprised of what I do that you or Carly don't know about" Freddie said with a hint of amusement

"No I wouldn't…so are you going to pour this here fair maiden a glass or what" Sam said as Freddie clearly amused turned to look at her.

"Fair maiden?" Freddie let out a chuckle at that "I'll give you points for trying to appealing to my inner nerd though" Freddie finished getting up to pour her a drink.

Sam had always hated alcohol or just what it had turned her mother into, but she had gotten drunk a few times by herself and with Carly once when she needed some time away from dear old mother. She was surprised to see Freddie drinking but as she really looked at him she could tell he really was having a bad day; she could see the bags under his eyes showing he hadn't gotten much sleep. She watched as he poured her a small amount of the transparent liquid and handed her the glass. She took the glass and downed it all in one go and had to give it her all to keep herself from making a face as the bitter taste bit into her tongue and throat. She watched as Freddie gaped at her lack of a reaction and couldn't help but smile as she held out her glass for more

"So I guess you've drank this stuff before huh "Freddie said still amazed at her lack of reaction

"Nah I'm just stronger than the average dork I guess" She said her smile turning to a smirk

"I thought we said no insults "Freddie said with a roll of the eyes

"After all the things I've called you in the past you consider that an insult?" Sam asked still smirking

"Hmm…I guess not" He said thinking back a bit

Freddie poured Sam another but a little bit more than the last time, she had proved she could handle it. As they sat with their legs stretched out on to the balcony wall looking out at the view of the city they fell into a comfortable silence, that was until Freddie got up to switch the radio on again. He was returning to his seat when he noticed the look on Sam's face, it was glazed and she seemed to be staring off into space.

"So what's up with you today, you look like something's on your mind" Freddie said braking Sam out of her reverie

"I don't want to talk about it" She said looking him in the eye

Freddie was about to reply when Sam started digging into her pockets, He stared at her in confusion as She pulled out a pack of cigarettes. She held out the pack and a lighter to him with amusement written all over her eyes.

"Well what do you say Freddie?" she asked staring into his eyes as if daring him

"Well why not" He replied accepting the pack "Its not like they cause cancer" he finished with a sarcastic tone

Freddie pulled one out of the pack and taking the light from Sam's hands, their fingers grazing each other as he took the lighter. He lit the cigarette and took a long drag which was cut short by his coughing; He could hear Sam laugh at him in-between his coughs. Freddie got his coughing under control and held out the cigarette to Sam who hadn't stopped laughing.

"Sorry Fredward but I don't smoke" she said wiping a tear out of her eye

"Neither *cough* do I but I did it anyway" He said annoyance clear in his voice

"Alright all right Fredward, if it will make you feel better" She said still smiling

She took a drag and quickly started to cough and it was Freddie's turn to laugh as she tried to get herself under control. Once she had stopped coughing she held it out for him, and he took it and repeated the coughing process but a little under control this time around. They kept exchanging the cigarette and coughing until it was finished and Sam threw it off the fire escape/balcony.

"So what are you doing with a pack of cigarettes anyway?" Freddie questioned

"They're not mine, I swiped them from my mom before I left this morning" she replied and stared off into space

"Why?"

"I can take her drinking and all but I don't want her smoking, it will do her in faster than the booze"

"Tried talking to her about it?"

"Yeah, but lately things have been bad its either she's passed out or too drunk to care for what I'm talking about" She said still staring into space

"Is that why you've been spending so much time here?"

"Yeah" she said quietly

"If she won't listen to you why do you even bother?" he asked in a low voice

"Because she's my mom and even though she is an alcoholic she is all me and Melanie have" She said her voice low and hoarse

"Yeah" this time it was Freddie, who was staring off into space as he thought about his own mother; she was all he had.

"Hey Freddie?"

"Yeah?" he replied quietly

"What I told you today, it stays between us ok?" Sam tried to sound as threatening as she could

"Ok" He replied looking down at their empty glasses

"Hey Freddie?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks, for letting me hang out here a while"

Freddie turned to look Sam in the eye and gave her a curt nod before refilling their glasses with transparent liquid. They sat in silence letting the radio play when Sam noted that it was a rap music station, she looked at Freddie and raised an eyebrow at him.

"What?" He questioned

"Since when you are into rap or whatever this is" she said in a humorous voice

"I'm not I just didn't bother to change the station when I switched it on" he said rolling his eyes

"You never told me what your doing out here, drinking vodka and listening to rap and all before noon if I may add"

"You didn't ask" he replied trying to dodge the question

"Well I'm asking now"

"No reason really I just couldn't get any sleep so I decided to have some vodka to knock me out" he replied curtly.

"Mmmmhm" Sam made a noncommittal sound not buying his half truth but she didn't ask for more

Sam took her glass and drank the rest of her vodka, she pulled her legs off the balcony edge and sat upright and turned to face Freddie who gave her an inquisitive look. She stood up and stumbled around a bit before finding her footing and standing up straight before looking at Freddie who was chuckling at her lack of co-ordination.

She went over to the radio and switched it to a modern rock station which played most of the songs she liked, she then turned and went back to her chair and slumped down on it. She went back to her previous sitting position and Freddie poured them another round, as the bitter taste was forgotten they continued to chat about random things.

…**.**

…**.**

…**.**

…**.**

…**.**

Sam opened her eyes to look around and even though her vision was blurry she knew where she was, she looked to her right to see Freddie blacked out on his chair and it all came back to her. She and Freddie had continued drinking until they finished the bottle, She recalled them dancing at some point but it was all too fuzzy. She got up from her chair to look at Freddie who looked a mess and was drooling, and she couldn't help but smile.

She looked down at her naked feet and quickly started looking for her shoes; she had to get out of there before "momma Benson" got back. Once she had her shoes on and grabbed the empty vodka bottle she turned to leave but gave on last look at Freddie's sleeping face and bent down to give Freddie a quick kiss on the cheek, but as she rose she noticed she had left a kiss lipstick mark on him and also noticed a hicky on his neck. She didn't remember giving him a hicky or putting on any lipstick but that didn't matter she'd just blame it on the alcohol should Freddie ask if anything happened. She headed back into the house but as soon as she entered she wished she hadn't.

The house didn't remind her of hospitals anymore but reminded her of what her house looks like when she wakes up in the morning to find her mother passed out on the couch. As soon as the shock wore off Sam stopped gaping and smirked the place looked like a tornado had blown through and she had to admit she liked it this way. Sam headed for the door figuring Freddie will clean everything up before his mother came back or have a good enough lie to cover his ass.

**Shay apartment**

Carly stood in front of her apartment door debating on going to see Freddie with her tedious sitting around on the couch watching TV wasn't helping with her current situation. She had watched TV half of the day between her trips to the bathroom as thoughts of her dream overwhelmed her. Even though she had tried pleasuring her self multiple times the itch was still there and she couldn't scratch it. Carly felt electricity run through her as she heard the Benson apartment door open; she quickly threw the door in front of her open only to gain a confused look on her face.

"Sam?"

T.B.C

**A.N:** Reviews are always welcome, and for any mistakes let me know and I'll fix it right up.

3ohE


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"**We seem to be approaching an age of the gross"**

**The Hallway**

**17:42 PM**

"Sam?" Carly asked in confusion

"Hey Carls" Sam answered nervously

Carly couldn't believe it, Sam had left her apartment hours ago and had been at Freddie's apartment ever since? And if so what could they have been doing all this time. Carly's jealousy started to grow as her brain concocted ideas of what had happened between Sam and Freddie, not forgetting that the pair had shared a first kiss together. Carly forced her jealousy to back down and wait for Sam to explain before she jumped to conclusions.

"What's going on I thought you left hours ago? And what were you doing at Freddie's?" Carly asked in as calm a voice as she could

"Uhhh…well I did leave but when I got home I got bored after a few hours and came back here to hang with you" Sam replied as she thought of other lies to back her story up

"Then what were you doing in Freddie's apartment?" She asked folding her arms over her breasts, not buying Sam's story

" Well I wanted to play a prank on the dork but the nub's asleep so I just settled for trashing his place " Sam replied in her usual manner

"You what?!"

Carly pushed past Sam and entered the Benson apartment and as soon as she saw it she believed Sam's story. The apartment didn't look its usual orderly self, the couch had been flipped over, the living room table was no where to be seen and the kitchen table was on its side and what was once on top of the living room table laid scattered across the floor, there was some makeup products on the kitchen counter and a lot of various drinking products containers laid littered on the floor. Carly closed her eyes and backed out of the Benson apartment, which was not that messy but a far cry from its usual self, she bumped into Sam who had been waiting for Carly to finish her inspection. Carly closed the door in front of her and turned to face Sam.

"Are you crazy?" Carly asked in shock

"That's what they tell me" Sam replied with a smile trying to play it cool, as she could tell Carly had bought her story.

"Sam! This is not funny Freddie's going to freak if he finds out you did this"

"Then he won't find out"

"And if he does?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there" Sam said as she rolled her eyes

Sam dragged Carly into her apartment wanting to get out sight before things got even more complicated. Once standing safely in Carly's apartment Sam let go of Carly's wrist and went over to the couch and slumped down on it, she was still a bit drunk and felt very tired all of a sudden.

"Sam I don't know why you like messing with Freddie, but that wasn't cool Mrs. Benson will freak"

"I know right, can you imagine her face" Sam replied with a laugh

"Sam!"

"Oh come on Carls its no big deal Freddie will know I did it and fix up the place before she even gets home"

"Whatever" Carly said feeling like she was talking to a rock

"What's the matter Carls I thought you liked bad boys" Sam said trying to change the subject

"Yeah…**boys**" Carly said as she sat down next to Sam

"No exceptions?" Sam said in a husky voice as she turned to look at Carly with their faces a few inches from each other

Carly felt blood rush to her face; she didn't know what to do as the look Sam was giving her turned intense. Sam gently kissed Carly but almost immediately Carly pulled back from Sam and gave her an incredulous look, as soon as their lips had met she could smell it all over Sam and taste it a bit. Carly was surprised She hadn't caught it earlier; this explained most of Sam's behavior.

"Sam your drunk!"

"Oh yeah now that I think about it I am a bit drunk" She replied with a chuckle

Carly didn't know what to say as she looked at Sam who seemed like she didn't have a care in the world. A wave of nausea hit Sam and Carly watched as Sam got up and made a break for the bathroom and a moment later she heard Sam spill her guts into the toilet. Carly felt a smile come on to her face as she walked into the toilet to find Sam on her knees with her face in the toilet, she walked over to Sam and held up her hair as she puked into the toilet.

Once Sam had stopped vomiting Carly helped her up and walked her up to the sink to gargle some mouth wash, if Sam was going to spend the night in her room Carly didn't want it smelling like puke. When Sam finished gargling some mouth wash Carly walked her up to her room. Carly sat Sam on the bed and grabbed the hem of her t-shirt and pulled it over Sam's head leaving Sam sitting up with her breasts exposed. Carly pushed Sam back and she slumped into the bed, Carly looked down at Sam who was laying on her back and starring up at the ceiling in a dazed state and Carly took off Sam's shoes and started to unbutton her jeans. Once Sam was only in her panties Carly went over to her and pulled her into a seated position once again before heading to her draws and pulling out an oversized t-shirt she had stolen from Spencer.

"Hands up" Carly instructed as she slid the t-shirt down Sam's head and over her exposed breasts

Once dressed in the t-shirt Carly opened up the blankets and motioned for Sam to enter and she did but not before giving Carly a small childish smile. Once Sam was in bed Carly tucked her in and made to leave but Sam reached out and grabbed Carly's wrist, causing Carly to stumble a bit and land in a sited position by Sam's stomach as Sam had adjusted her sleeping position and lay on her side facing the wall.

"You ok Sam?" Carly asked giving her a worried look

"You don't hate me right Carly?" Sam asked not meeting Carly's gaze

Carly looked down at her friend who didn't meet her eyes but continued to look at the wall ahead.

"No of course not Sam you're my best friend I don't know what I'd do without you" Carly said in a low voice while tucking a gold lock of Sam's hair behind her ear.

"Thanks Carls that means a lot to me" Sam said turning to meet Carly's eyes and giving her a small weak smile.

"Anytime Sam" She replied and returning Sam's smile "So you going to be alright or should I stay with you a while?" Carly asked

"I'll be fine" she replied her voice a bit cracked

"No you wont" Carly said as she went to the other side of the bed and joined Sam in bed

Sam went back to staring at the wall as she felt Carly slip into bed next to her and hugged her from behind and intertwined their legs under the blankets. Sam closed her eyes hoping it would stop the tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes but she couldn't stop them, as the tears spilled from her eyes Sam smiled. She now knew that even if her mother was an alcoholic that didn't care for her daughters she could always count on Carly to be there for her, and maybe Freddie as well.

"Hey Carls?"

"Yeah?"

"About the kiss earlier, sorry for pushing your buttons" Sam said nervously

"Its ok it was just the alcohol right?"

"Was it?" Sam replied and Carly was sure Sam had a smirk on her face right about now

"Saaamm" Carly dragged out her name in a bit of annoyance at Sam's teasing

"Yeah Carls I was joking you don't have to worry about me going all lesbo on you" Sam chuckled

After a few chuckles the pair fell into a comfortable silence and soon Sam's breathing had evened out and Carly deduced she had been taken by Morpheus. Carly once sure Sam was asleep slowly untangled herself from Sam and got out of bed, and headed down stairs. She found Spencer on the couch eating some type of concoction she couldn't identify with normal food.

"Well look whose finally up" Carly said as she descended down the stairs

"Yeah last night was out of control, what time did I get in" Spencer asked exhaustion clear in his voice

"I don't know I went to bed around eleven and you weren't back yet" she said with an accusation hidden in between the lines

"Sorry for leaving you alone like that Carly I just lost track of time" He said sounding apologetic

"Its ok just don't make a habit of it, so what did you get up to that was so wild" she asked

"Well Socko got a crate of red bull and we sort of went wild I don't even remember what happened" He lied

Truth be told He and Socko had drank a case of red bull and went out clubbing, they had hit the clubs hard and He remembered every last bit of it including the part where He left with Amy and Chloe. Amy and Chloe were roommates and had taken him back to their apartment and the three of them had given each other pleasure throughout the night. The only thing that Spencer really didn't remember was what happened to Socko when they hit that last club.

"Well you look a mess so I figure whatever you did you had fun" all she got was a grunt in reply which caused Carly to give a shot laugh

"I'm going to go check on Freddie" Carly said on Her way to the door

**Benson apartment**

**18:38pm**

Knock, knock

Freddie stirred from his vodka induced coma as He heard a knock at the door, He opened is eyes but everything was a blur. Freddie blinked a few times before his vision focused and He noted that He was still out on the balcony, He looked to his side to find his partner in crime had gone. Freddie stared at the chair beside him a while and then it all came back to him.

*** Flash back ***

After a few more glasses of vodka He and Sam were all over the place, it had started with a song Sam liked coming on and she immediately got up off the chair with a few stumbles but she got up and made her way to the Balcony edge where screamed down at the civilians below.

" I love this song! " Sam gave a deep laugh as she turned back to look at Freddie who also seemed to be enjoying the song and bobbing his head

Sam had started to dance along with the song but nothing too fancy just like how they usually dance during random dancing, as she was dancing she noticed Freddie had stopped bobbing his head and was now staring up at her with a creepy smile plastered of his face, which she guessed was brought on by the alcohol. She stopped dancing and turned to look at him and smirked as she saw his smile waver a bit and He blushed.

Freddie wasn't sure if Sam had caught his blush but it didn't matter even if she did, He would just blame it on the Russian brew.

'Ah the joys of being drunk' He thought as He turned away from Sam who was still watching him and took another sip off his glass.

"Well Freddork you going to keep checking me out as I dance or are you going to join me" Sam said humor written all over her voice.

If she hadn't caught his blush before Freddie was sure she had seen it now; and no it hadn't been a lie, He had been enjoying the view of her ass as she bounced about doing random dances.

"No I think I'll stay down here and enjoy the view" Freddie smiled as He saw Sam blush a bit at his comment

"The way I see it I can either make you or you can just make it easier on your self and get up here"

"Fine" Freddie said with a huff

Sam increased the volume as Freddie got up and continued with her "Random dancing". Freddie got up off his chair and watched Sam a while before starting to move in similar patterns as her, Freddie felt awkward for a bit as He tried to match Sam's enthusiasm but after a while He got into it and went craze with it.

Sam watched Freddie as He went ape shit and she loved it, seeing him this way it made her feel alive. Sam couldn't keep a steady thought as she rocked along side Freddie and so without the slightest thought she grabbed the radio and followed its power cord back into the house. Once in the house she laid it down on the living room floor and proceeded to go for the couch and start jumping on it, she was more than surprised as she saw Freddie slide into the room on his knees doing a guitar player impersonation.

Freddie couldn't explain what was happening to him but if He was to try, He would have to say all the years of being with-held and obedient had come crashing down and it was all flooding out in one fell swoop and He was loving every moment of it, Freddie got up off the floor and joined Sam in jumping on the couch. They continued to jumping up and down they song came to an end with a strong guitar string causing Sam to jump extra hard and accidentally shove Freddie off the couch mid jump causing him to fall to the floor and knock the radio to the far side of the room, causing it to switch off just in time for the new found silence to amplify the sound of Freddie's fall.

Sam watched wide eyed in mid air as Freddie fell to the floor with a large thud, once back on the floor Sam rushed down to Freddie who hadn't moved since his fall.

"Freddie" she said in a low voice and got no response

"Listen here freddork you better get up or I'm going to slap you if you don't get up" Sam threatened but still got nothing

Sam looked down at Freddie who looked to be out cold and gently brushed his left cheek before pulling back her arm, about to stay true to her word and slap Freddie awake. Just as she was about to fire off her hand Freddie's hands shot up from his body catching Sam's arms and before Sam knew it He was on top of her.

Freddie had a smirk on his face as He watched Sam's face wear off the shock of what had happened and look at her pinned arms then back at the boy who was straddling her.

"How does it feel to be the one pinned down for once Puckett" Freddie asked his face not so far from hers.

Sam stared up at Freddie in a bit of confusion

'I don't remember him being that fast before, or maybe He was and was just holding back on me all this time? No can't be must be because of…'

Sam's thoughts went blank as she felt a growing bulge by her stomach, it took a moment for Sam to understand what it was but as soon as she realized what it was she looked up at Freddie with a smirk of her own.

"Not as good as good as it feels to be on top of me apparently" she replied amusement clear in her voice

Sam watched as Freddie's face went from confused to all types of red which was followed by him leaping off her like she had the plague. Sam started with a contained laugh behind her hand to a full blown laugh, she had to say she had seen a new Freddie today but when it came down to it, Freddie was always Freddie. Sam continued to laugh as Freddie got over his embarrassment and went to retrieve the radio and take it back to the balcony. Sam got up she stumbled around a bit and tried to balance herself with the living room table but failed miserably as the table was quite light and gave into her weight causing Sam to loose her balance along with the table and land on the couch, while the table hit the floor on its side along with what was once on top of it getting scattered all on the floor.

Freddie put the radio on the balcony and just as He was about to retake his previous seat He heard a small crash from the living room and gave out a deep groan. Freddie headed back into the living room to find Sam on the couch staring down at the mess she made, and looked up at Freddie apologetically.

"Sam" Freddie said releasing another groan

"Sorry, kind of lost balance and took the table with me" she said sheepishly

"Great look at this mess" Freddie said sounding exhausted the whole rock session had left him feeling exhausted

"Its just a little mess you neat freak, besides the place could use a good mess"

"I'm not a neat freak" Freddie scoffed

"Yeah you are" Sam said rolling her eyes

"Am not" Freddie replied his drunken state making it easy to miss the thought off how childish He sounded

"Then prove it" Sam said with a smirk

Freddie walked over to Sam and watched her smirk fall as His smile turned to a smirk, when He was right in front of Sam Freddie reached down under the couch and flipped it sending Sam plummeting along with it.

"That's for the shove earlier" Freddie said walking around the couch and giving Sam a hand up

Knock, knock

***End flash back***

The knock at the door brought Freddie back to the present, Freddie stood up from his seated position and shouted that He was coming at whoever was at the door but went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and gargle some mouth wash before going to the door. Freddie gave a small smile as He saw his and Sam's destruction. Freddie assumed Sam had woken before him and left. It was so like her to leave the clean up to him.

"Hey Freddie" Carly greeted from the door with a smile, which fell as she took in Freddie's appearance

"Hey, what's up" Freddie answered automatically

Carly lost her thoughts for a moment as she looked at Freddie who looked like He had come out a mosh pit in an AC/DC concert, his hair was all over the place his face looking like it had gained a few years over night but what caught Carly's attention was the kiss on his left cheek.

Freddie seemed to notice Carly was staring at a particular part of his face and started to feel around his cheek and got a smudge of lipstick on his index finger and brought it to his face.

" Huh " Freddie said curiously

" Looks like you've been having fun over here " Carly said with a smile figuring it was more of Sam's messing around seeing as she had some lipstick on her lips earlier.

" Uhm…." Freddie replied thinking of an explanation

Carly chuckled as she mistook Freddie's fidgeting as him wondering to what was going on, first He wakes up to a trashed apartment and now a kiss on the cheek.

" Its ok Freddie no need to lose your head it was Sam, I caught her as she was making her escape. She once again wanted to mess with you and trashed your place while you were asleep but don't worry I'm here to help you clean up before your mum comes back "

Freddie had to force down a smile as he listened to Carly re-tell him Sam's lies, Sam was good at many bad things but He had to say lying had to be the best skill she had.

" What! Sam did all this?" Freddie said feigning ignorance

" In her defense she was a bit drunk" Carly said in an apologetic smile

Freddie stepped back from the door and motioned for Carly to enter, as Carly entered she failed to notice the childish smile on Freddie's face. Carly entered and once again was greeted by a messy apartment.

" I wonder where she put your living room table " Carly questioned as she wondered deeper into the apartment

Freddie looked at the now vacant spot of where the living room table had been and had to replay the day's events until He was finally able to remember what had happened.

*** Flash back ***

Sam and Freddie had looted all the sodas and anything else they could mix with the vodka and carried it out to the balcony and set it atop the small living room table which they had carried out first. So far they had tried vodka with milk which Sam had spit out over the balcony rail and down to the unknowing civilians below, Freddie had swallowed his but quickly made a beeline for the toilet and hurled it out the next minute. They had also tried it with grape and orange juice which wasn't that bad but they ended up sticking with the sodas and occasionally taking it straight out the bottle.

Sam felt her bladder strain and hopped off towards the toilet

" Hey where you going? " Freddie questioned He's drinking buddy

" To the loo. Fancy joining me Freddie" she said in her best British accent impersonation

Blushing a bit Freddie didn't bother to answer and turned back to the view of the city, to hear Sam roar with laughter as she disappeared into the house.

" Ah shit *giggling* I think I just wet my pants " Sam said as she stumbled into the bathroom.

Sam sat pissing into the toilet and noticed a make up kit and lipstick at the edge of the sink which Mrs. Benson had hurriedly used and left there before she went to work. Sam slid her panties back on again not bothering to wipe her urethral area and went over to the sink where she washed her hands. once done she picked up the lipstick and applied it with precision that any drunken person would be proud of and then moved on to apply some of the make up. Once she was done she looked at herself in the mirror and broke into a laughing fit, She more or less looked like a clown without the red nose. Sam washed the make up off her face not noticing the lipstick hadn't come off and was about to put the make up inside the mirror compartment when there was a knock at the door.

" Hey I got to take a piss, what are you doing in there? Please don't tell me your going number 2 " Freddie said from outside the door.

" Hold on Fredward " Sam said with a frown

Forgetting to put the makeup in the compartment Sam went to the door opened it and Freddie rushed in as she went out. Sam was feeling a bit hungry and headed for the kitchen once there she then noticed the make up and lipstick still in her hands and groaned inwardly as she sat it down on the counter and started to rummage through the fridge for food. Sam found a plate of spaghetti meatballs and helped herself.

When Sam was done eating she went back out to the balcony to find Freddie back in his seat and she joined him in hers. The radio was off and the two of them let the silence build as they seemed to be out of gas. The effects of sleep deprivation had got to Freddie as his eyes were half closed and He seemed to be just staring of into space.

" Hey Freddie " Sam called out

" Yeah "

" This wasn't half bad, we should do it again "

" Yeah " He said sounding distant

" Are you even listening to me" Sam asked as she turned to look at him with a frown

" Yes I am, no need to get mad princess " Freddie said in a low voice turning to meet Sam's eyes and giving her a small smile

Sam blushed and turned back to the view of the city.

' Dammit Puckett what's wrong with you, He calls you princess and you show weakness' Sam mentally kicked herself

" Hey you ok?" Freddie questioned noticing Sam had gone from a blush to a deep frown

" Yeah don't worry about it " Sam said solemnly

" Can't " He said in a voice so low Sam almost didn't hear it

" What? " she questioned

" I said I can't… not care " He said in a dazed tone

Sam didn't know what to say she hated him for doing this, making this moment more than it was. The pair continued to sit in silence each waiting for the other to say something to break the silence.

" Hey Sam "

" Yeah? "

" Were friends right? "

" *hesitation* yeah "

" Then that's what we do right? "

" What? "

" Worry about each other "

Sam didn't say anything after that she gave a slight nod and Freddie decided that was enough for him as He removed his eyes from Sam and closed his eyes and let sleep finally overcome him.

Sam watched as Freddie's breathing evened out confirming that Freddie was indeed asleep. Sam would never admit it to anyone even to herself but she liked Freddie, that's why she couldn't stand to be around him and she hated the fact that no matter what she did He still stuck around and didn't avoid her like most people did once they got to know Her.

Snap Snap

*** End Flash Back** *

Freddie was broken from his day dreaming by Carly who had been trying to get his attention for the past five minutes but He seemed to be off in his own world.

"Yeah what? " Freddie said in a bit of confusion before focusing on Carly

" I asked if you know where the living room table is maybe we can start with that "

" Ahh no actually no I haven't seen it, it most be around here somewhere " said as He looked to the balcony and it wasn't where He had last seen it.

Freddie noted the various liquids they had looted from the fridge were all over the floor and started to wonder what Sam had got up to while He was passed out. Freddie had started to pick up the empty cans of soda on the floor when Carly called to him from his room. When He entered He saw the table was on his bed and became concerned to what exactly Sam got up to when He was out.

" Where were you sleeping if this is on your bed " Carly asked curiously

" Out on the balcony " He said

" Your bed hasn't been made " she noted to him

" Didn't make when I got up this morning "

" You? Freddie Benson didn't make your bed? The world must be coming to an end " she joked moving to pick up the small table

Before Carly could get her hands on the table Freddie pulled it away taking it into his arms and made his way for the living room, once there Freddie set it down in its rightful place not noticing the smile on Carly's face as she followed behind checking him out. Once they got the table back into place they moved along the house putting everything into it place. Freddie was taking some cans to the garbage bin and noticed the vodka bottle at the top of the trash and poured the cans on top of it to cover it up. He figured that Sam had taken care of it before she left, as He backed away from the kitchen He turned to bump into Carly who had conveniently stood there for him to bump into.

" Oh.. sorry " Freddie said about to move but couldn't as He and Carly made eye contact

" That's ok " Carly breathed out in anticipation of what could happen next

Freddie wasn't sure if it was just him but He felt Carly's body language draw him in and slowly brought his face closer to hers expecting her to move back or give him a slap but it never came. Freddie was more surprised when Carly welcomed his kiss and moved closer to him, their lips met and Freddie had to admit that they felt softer than He remembered. Freddie felt a wave of aggression go through him as He put an arm around Carly and pull her closer to him making Carly give out a moan into his mouth.

Carly was loving every moment in Freddie's arms, everything was going just the way she wanted it and at this moment she didn't care if she loved him or not she could think about that later. Carly was about to suggest they go back into his room when she heard the apartment door swing open, revealing Freddie's mother who seemed to have a smile on her face but it instantly fell as she saw the scene in front of her.

**Seattle medical center**

**18:47PM**

The Seattle medical center had been more than busy today as a high school charity basketball tournament had gone bad as there was an outbreak of Meningitis, every available nurse and doctor had been called in to assist in treating the patients. Marissa Benson's day had been going well when she was home with her son and now lover, but all of that had gone up in flames as soon as she had been paged in for the emergency. When she had got there everything about the place screamed chaos, nurses were rushing about directing people to where they needed to be while trying to give doctors what they needed.

Five minutes into the mess Marissa was already starting to lose her mind as she manned the nurses station, As if the patients stupidity wasn't enough she had doctors screaming at her left and right trying to get an operating room or a beds for their patients, while they could see non were available but she did what she could.

Marissa was glad that things had quieted down now as they had gotten aid from the Seattle grace hospital. Marissa was humming a song, packing her things and getting ready to head home and forget about this place. Beside Marissa was her friend and fellow nurse Ellen who was packing up her things as well, Ellen had been a nurse longer than Marissa but the two had been friends since Marissa's first day at the hospital. Ellen was sort of like the alpha nurse not by rank but because she had most experience and the fact that she had a way of getting anything she wanted or making anyone who dared to get in her way of feel inferior to her. They didn't really match yet they had been friends for over a decade, Ellen was in her forties and so was Marissa but neither would tell the other their real age.

" You know you seem unusual today " Ellen said as she shoved the last of her belongings into her bag

" What do you mean " Marissa asked in a bit of confusion

" Your glowing, have you been having sex? " she asked excitement seeping through the last words that came out of her mouth

Marissa opened her mouth to talk but apparently no excuse came though in time.

" Oh my god I knew it, So are you going to give me the details or am I going to have to manipulate them out of you" Ellen said in a half joking tone

" You know for someone in her forties you certainly don't act your age " Marissa said trying to avoid her question

" I have a young spirit in me I guess, and don't try change the subject "

" What subject? There's nothing to tell I haven't been sleeping with anyone " Marissa said in an uneasy voice

" Hey if you don't want to tell me that's fine, I'm just glad you're finally getting some and your looking more chipper than usual " Ellen said as they both picked up their bags and made to exit the locker rooms

" I haven't been sleeping with anyone " Marissa protested

" Then how do you explain the humming and that smile you had in the locker room" Ellen replied

" I was just happy to get out of there and get home to my Freddie" she said her smile returning as she thought of him

" I swear you and that kid of yours have some messed up relationship, creeps me out sometimes "

" Didn't know it was a crime to love your son " Marissa said Her smile keeping its constant

" The way you do it should " Ellen joked

" Freddie is all I have you know " Marissa said taking a serious tone

" Yeah I know…..sorry, its just Freddie won't be around forever Mari He's all grown up and before you know it He'll be heading off to college and when that happens I just want you to have somebody who will be there for you and love you " Ellen said in a small but audible voice.

" I don't need anybody and Freddie gives me all the love I need " Marissa said in a cheery voice as a larger smile appeared on Her face

' Well that's very creepy ' Ellen thought

" Well I guess I'll see you tomorrow then sunshine " Ellen said as they parted ways at the exit

Ellen had known Marissa for a long time but she had never seen her friend act this weird, sure at times she was a clean freak but she had never given her the psychotic vibe up until then.

' maybe I'm just reading too much into it, Merissa always has been weird when it came to Freddie, always protective over him the only way it could get any weirder was if she was sleeping with him ' Ellen chuckled at that last thought as she watched her friend drive away from the hospital.

**VW Beetle**

**19:20PM**

Merissa was a few blocks from her apartment building and already had a build up of excitement as she thought of what Freddie and she would do tonight. She had bought some takeout on her way over, not wanting to waste anytime cooking so that she and Freddie could have enough time to play and still have Freddie in bed early enough to get a good nights sleep. She had noticed this morning that He looked a little sleep deprived but she was too misted up by lust to stop then.

Once in the apartment building she made Her way to her and Freddie's apartment as she got closer she heard a few muffled sounds coming from inside but didn't think much of it, that was until she entered the apartment. The smile she had on fell as she watched the scene in front of her, it was as if time slowed as she watched them acknowledge her presence and separated from one another's embrace and she didn't miss the moan Carly had given as they parted.

' He doesn't love you '

'He will leave you '

'You will die alone '

Merissa forced the voices of her insecurity back to the deepest parts of her mind and tried to organize her thoughts enough to say something but nothing came, she just stood stock still at the door with the takeaway she had brought with Her now at her feet.

Freddie watched as his mother stood by the door unmoving, Her eyes darting between Him and Carly and He could only guess what was going through her head. Freddie couldn't take the growing silence that seemed to scream for attention and decided to speak.

"Carly you should go" He said in a low voice

"…o...Ok so I'll see you tomorrow?" Carly asked not sure why as they had school together it was inevitable

"Sure" Freddie said giving her a small smile

Carly walked cautiously around Mrs. Benson until she was safely in the hallway and made a dash for her apartment, Mrs. Benson had given her a cold fierce look that scared the shit out off her. Freddie watched as his mother moved for the first time since she had walked into the apartment, she slowly closed the door and turned to look at him with a glare so cold Freddie was sure the room temperature had dropped a few degrees.

Merissa looked at her son with anger that had been building since she had walked in on him and Carly.

"Hey mom" Freddie said tensely

No answer

"If you're mad about what just happened, don't be Carly was just helping me clean up and then…" Freddie tried to explain but didn't know how to because even He didn't know what had happened.

"And then what?, you decided to clean Her throat with your tongue?, and what exactly were you cleaning up, this place is always spotless " Marissa said in a calm but hostile voice as she walked towards Freddie

"N...No I...We…" Freddie stopped babbling for a moment and took a breath to calm himself and assemble his thoughts

"We were cleaning up a mess I had made when I made snack earlier, and the kiss was just Carly thanking me for fixing Her laptop" Freddie lied

But unlike Sam Freddie was a dreadful liar and Marissa saw right through his lies, first she had caught him with Carly and now He was lying to Her. Marissa was in front of him in seconds and slapped him across the face with the back of Her hand. Marissa stood in front of Freddie wide eyed at what she had just done, she had not meant to hit him as she walked over but Her anger had overwhelmed Her and she lashed out at him.

"Freddie…" Marissa didn't know what to say as Freddie kept his face down cast

Marissa raised Freddie's down cast face to meet hers, and as soon as they made eye contact all the anger she had seemed to drift away. Freddie's cheek was red with Her fingers outlined on it, He looked at Her but she could tell He wasn't. His eyes were vacant as He looked up at Her with a hurt look on his face and Marissa hated herself for overreacting on him. Freddie slowly removed his mother's hands from his face and started to walk away from Her in the direction of his room. Marissa wanted to say something, anything to make him stop but she couldn't, not knowing what to say.

Marissa briefly heard Freddie's bedroom door shut after He vanished into it, she slowly moved back to the door where she had dropped the take away she had brought for them. She picked it up and laid it on the kitchen table then she proceeded to the living room where she slumped into the couch.

"I hit him" Marissa spoke to the vacant room

'Things weren't supposed to be this way' she thought to herself

Marissa felt a wave of shame hit Her as the picture of Freddie's hurt face flashed in Her mind, slowly she got up off the couch and headed for Freddie's room. She wasn't sure what to say or do as she got to his door , she could tell the lights in his room were off as the light stopped at his door. Marissa brought up Her hand to knock but paused half way and took a moment to organize Her thoughts on how to fix this and then knocked but got no answer.

She knocked again figuring she had been too gentle on the door and had not been heard but once again she got no answer, so Marissa decided to enter. She looked into the dark room and could barely make out the outline of Freddie's body as He sat on the left side of his bed staring ahead. Marissa cautiously walked over to him and stood in front of him as He didn't seem or acknowledge Her presence.

"Freddie" she spoke softly but didn't get an answer

"Freddie look at me " she said with what authority she could muster

No answer

Marissa went over to the bed and sat next to Freddie, she reached over to him but as Her hand made contact with his cheek He flinched but finally looked at Her. Marissa's hand hung in the air as she considered if she should try touching him again but decided against it. They stared at each other a while before Marissa decided to try talk to him once more.

"I'm sorry Freddie" she said in a low voice as she reached for his bruised cheek, and soothingly stroked it when He did not pull away from Her touch.

Freddie didn't respond so Marissa continued

"I just lost control back there, you know I would never intentionally hurt you right? "

Freddie gave a slight nod as He looked at the pained expression on his mother face, He wasn't angry at Her but himself. He shouldn't have been kissing Carly when He knew his mother would be home at any moment. Deep down He knew He had wanted Her to catch him, Marissa smiled a small smile though not visible in the darkness and put an arm around Freddie as she leaned on his shoulder, and Freddie brought his head in and leaned on Hers.

"Are you hungry?" Marissa asked Her son

"Yeah, starving actually" Freddie said in a low but humored voice

"Good I got takeout, I'll go heat it up for us" she said as she got up and headed to the door

"I'll be out in a minute" Freddie replied

**Shay apartment**

**19:45 PM**

Carly entered her apartment and as soon as she had shut the door behind her a smile crossed Her face, maybe things hadn't gone her way but she had made progress with Freddie and that would have to do for now. She felt a sorry for Freddie as she could only imagine what conversation He and his mother were having right about now. Carly broke out from her thoughts to find Spencer staring at Her from the couch with a look of indifference as Carly caught his gaze she stared back with a wide smile, a few moments went by before Spencer finally caved and smiled back and turned back to the TV.

"You look happy "Spencer commented form the couch

"Don't I always" Carly said as she joined him

"So I thought I heard Sam earlier is she around?"

"Yeah she's in my room" she replied

"What's she up to up there she hasn't made a sound since you left for Freddie's"

"She's asleep, she was a bit drunk when she got here" Carly said as casually as she could

"Hmmm…"

"What?" Carly questioned

"Its not like Sam to get drunk, is she ok?" Spencer asked

"Yeah she's fine, at least that what she says"

Carly and Spencer let the conversation die there both taken away into their own private thoughts about Sam, Carly thinking if Her long time friend was really ok and Spencer wondered if Sam can be considered a bad influence on Carly. Knowing Spencer wasn't much of a cook Carly decided to start dinner not wanting to probe any deeper into Her thoughts.

After they had eaten Carly headed to the bathroom and took a shower before getting ready for bed, she wasn't surprised to find Her best friend sprawled throughout most of the bed. Carly got into some comfortable clothes to sleep which were a white tank top with matching white panties not wanting things to get bunched up while she slept, so she dressed light. Carly carefully got into bed while pushing Sam's offending limbs back to Her side of the bed, once comfortably in Her bed Carly turned Her back to Sam and tried to get some sleep.

Even though Her eyes were closed Carly's thoughts were back in the Benson apartment reliving the moment she had with Freddie, as Carly continued to think about this she could feel herself getting excited and tried to force all thoughts of Freddie to the back of Her head. No matter how hard she tried Carly kept envisioning what could have happened had Mrs. Benson not shown up when she did, Carly twisted and turned as Her arousal increased. In an exasperated huff Carly flipped Her self and laid on Her stomach and buried Her face into the pillow and gave a silent scream but even as she did this she couldn't help herself, Her right hand crossed Her stomach and entered Her panties.

Carly parted Her legs a crack as she slid a finger into herself with a muffled moan into the pillow, Carly felt Sam shift slightly but she didn't care for it, if anything she was more turned on by the thought of Sam catching Her. Carly continued to pleasure herself until reaching Her climax and slightly arched Her ass upwards for a few seconds before regaining control of Her self and remained flat on Her stomach Her breathing still labored.

" Everything ok Carls? " Sam asked in a low uneasy voice

" Everything's alright " Carly breathed out happily Her mind a blur as she closed Her eyes sleep finally coming with ease,….. as Carly slept a pair of eyes from the other side of the bed remained wide open.

**Benson apartment**

Freddie exited the shower feeling tired but refreshed since He hadn't taken a shower since the day before, He and his mother had eaten the takeout and settled in watching TV but after a few minutes Marissa had left to take a shower and when she was done He had felt for the bathroom as He needed one as well. He looked at himself in the mirror and He looked his old self no messy hair or bags under his eyes, He slipped into a fresh pair of boxers and exited the bathroom. Freddie entered his room and grabbed a t-shirt from his dresser; He had planned to head straight to bed but noticed a sticky note on his pillow

"Come to me"

Freddie stared long and hard at the three words printed on the note, before ripping it off his pillow and tossing it at the wall with as much force as He could but the small crumpled up paper lazily bounced off the wall and fell to the floor. Freddie had no delusions at what would came next as He exited his room and headed for his mothers bedroom, He came to a stop at the door which was slightly open but not enough to get a clear picture of Her room.

Her bedroom was slightly bigger than his but not by much, she had a queen size bed and above it hang a painting she had painted back in Her college days, she had lamps on either side of the bed that rested on the night stands, there was a small carpet at the center of the room which gave it a cozy look, there was also a dresser with a mirror on top of it straight ahead as you entered the room with various hair and skin products on it. She had few pictures off Freddie as a child and one of Her with Freddie when they had visited his uncle Jim in Alaska hanging from the wall. There was an entertainment center as you continue down the room; Freddie had set it up for her a few years ago.

Freddie entered the room and looked to the bed to find his mother watching him curiously as He examined the room. He looked at his mother who was looking at him with desire filled eyes from the bed, and noted that she looked as if she was naked under the blankets. Freddie knew why she had called him here and didn't waste time playing dumb, switching off the main light He made his way over to Her, once at Her side He pulled away the blankets to reveal Her naked body. Her breasts were sagging a bit but for a woman Her age they were perfect, Freddie looked on with a look of indifference. A few days ago He would have been grossed out at his mothers state of undress but now it didn't matter, He wasn't there and his body moving on auto pilot. Slowly Freddie raised his hand and switched off the lamp at the side and crawled into Her bed.

T.B.C

**A.N:** Reviews are always welcome, and for any mistakes let me know and I'll fix it right up.

3ohE


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**In Too Deep**

**Shay apartment**

**02:01 AM**

Sam sat up from her side of the bed wide awake while Carly slept on the other side of the bed, Sam had been awake for a while now. After waking up to Carly fingering herself Sam had groggily thought nothing of it and went back to sleep but once she woke up a few hours later the thought came back fresh in Her mind and she had found it hard to go back to sleep. Sam looked around the darkened room until her eyes came to rest on the form of a sleeping Carly. Sam felt as if her thoughts were on pause as she looked on at her best friend, she hadn't been able to think since she had woken from her slumber. Sam turned away from Carly and got off the bed, she roughly shook her head as she made for the door hoping it would kick start her brain.

Once outside Carly's room Sam went down stairs, as she descended down the stairs she noted that only the TV was on in the darkened room. Sam got to the bottom of the stairs and went over to the kitchen; she switched on the kitchen light and went over to the sink and poured herself a glass of water. Sam turned around glass in hand to find Spencer standing by the couch staring at her, his body outlined by the light from the TV but she couldn't tell what look He wore as the light from the kitchen didn't reach that far into the living room. Sam could feel his eyes as they explored her body seeing as she was wearing nothing but a baggy t-shirt and panties, she walked over to the switch and turned off the lights in time to hide a blush forming on her face.

Spencer watched Sam with a new found interest as she walked over to the wall and switched off the lights bathing them both in semi darkness and obscuring his view of her slim legs. Neither of them spoke but continued to stare at each others dark forms contemplating what to do, finally deciding to break the silence Spencer spoke.

"You're up early"

"Slept early" Sam replied nonchalantly

"Carly said you were a bit drunk" He said matching her tone of indifference

"Just a bit" Sam agreed with a small smile

"Is everything alright?" Spencer asked not able to see the small smile Sam had fall

"Why does it matter" Sam replied in a annoyed voice

"Because if your not alright Carly's not alright"

"So you're worried about Carly?"

"I worry for both of you" Spencer replied feeling He was being put in an unfamiliar parent like position

"But the only reason you care for me is because of Carly?" Sam jabbed at him

"You know that's not true" Spencer replied not entirely sure it wasn't. If Carly cared He cared

"Yeah, Sorry" Sam replied tired of avoiding the question asked in the first place

"So…you ok?" He asked again with an unseen smile but was carried by his tone

"Yeah I'm alright but I am getting sick of you people asking if I am alright" She said catching the smile in his tone and getting one herself

"Well it's good to know people care right" He said walking over to her and pulling her into a hug

"Ye...ah" Sam said hesitantly as she wasn't prepared for the hug she was receiving

"Nice t-shirt" Spencer said with a hit of humor

"Thanks..." Sam's voice trailed off

Sam's arms were crossed over Her breasts; the glass of water still in one hand as she slowly pushed away from Spencer, she hoped He didn't think it rude but she didn't want things getting weird between them seeing as she was in a state of undress. Taking a few steps back from Spencer she downed Her glass of water before taking it back to the sink, by the time she turned back around to face Spencer the room was empty, the TV now off and she heard his bedroom door close. She walked over to the couch and laid down thinking it a perfect moment to initiate the thinking process.

'I know I occasionally jerk myself off to keep my hormones in check but that was fucked up. I can't believe Carly was fingering herself next to me and I could have sworn I heard her mention Freddie's name occasionally between moans, was she thinking of him? No... That's just….**'** Sam shook her head trying to shake the thoughts of thinking about Freddie in a sexual way away.

Sam brought her thoughts back under control but now focused on Fredward Benson; unconsciously Sam got up off the couch and went over to the fridge. She looked through all the various foods and refreshments. It seemed Spencer had recently stocked the fridge. Closing the fridge she opened the freezer and a smile crossed Her face as she saw there was no ice cream and she had gotten Her excuse, lame or not it didn't matter she had one. Sam walked out of the kitchen and up to Carly's room; Sam entered Carly's room quietly and started searching for her jeans. She found her jeans lying on her side of the bed but at the bottom of the bed, Sam grabbed her jeans and started searching the pockets and a few moments later found her prize. Once Sam had her phone she went back down stairs and settled into the couch once again, her smile grew as she searched her phone for Freddie's contact.

**Benson Apartment **

**02:45 AM**

Freddie's eyes snapped open as He heard a distant soft rhythmic tone coming from somewhere in the apartment, the walls in between rooms weren't so thick and made it easy for sound penetrate the walls. Freddie untangled his mother's hands from his body and groggily made for the door, once out in the hallway He followed the sound back into his room and found it coming from under his pillow. Lifting the pillow Freddie raised an eyebrow as He looked down at what looked to be his phone wrapped in a purple bra, untangling the phone from the bra Freddie brought the phone to his ear without looking at the caller I'd his eyes still on the laced material in his hand.

"Hello?" Freddie answered tiredly feeling the effects of being up this early

No answer

Sam had been calling him for a while now but He hadn't answered, this was to be the last time she would try him but He answered. She was sure if Her smile could have grew larger it would have as Freddie answered the phone, she guessed He hadn't looked at the caller ID as He didn't jump straight to asking what she wanted as He always does, so she didn't answer his greeting.

"Hel…Sam?" Freddie said as He quickly checked the caller I'd

"Yup"

"What do you want" Freddie asked tiredly

"Ice cream" She said in an almost child like voice

"You called me up at two in the morning for ice cream?" Freddie asked in an annoyed manner but a smile forming on his face.

"And my bra" Sam sniggered to herself as she heard him release a breath; she loved knowing she had an effect on him.

"Where are you?" Freddie asked as He returned his gaze to the bra

"Carly's apartment"

"Don't they have ice cream and bras?" He asked not sure seeing Sam would be a good idea

"No on the ice cream and I'm pretty sure you've noticed the difference between me and Carly's cup size" Sam teased

"Why'd you even leave it here" Freddie replied as a deep blush settled on his face

"Who knows I was drunk"

"Sure you were" He said rolling is eyes at the irony of her excuse

"So I can get the ice cream?"

"Sure whatever you want princess" Freddie said in an exasperated tone.

Freddie cut the call off before Sam got the last word with a smile, this was the game they played always trying to rile the other up and always having the last word, Sam won most of the time but He could pull off a miracle once in a while. Freddie tossed the phone back on to the bed and made for the apartment door where Sam would be in a few seconds, Freddie opened the apartment door and turned back into the apartment leaving the front door wide open for Sam. He went into the kitchen and pulled out a tub of chocolate chip ice cream not bothering to switch on the lights and risk his mother waking up, He heard the front door shut as He peeled the tub lid open announcing Sam's arrival. Freddie inserted a spoon into the ice cream and went out of the kitchen and into the living room; He could faintly see Sam's body outlined by light coming through the curtains from the city. She looked as if wearing only a t-shirt but Freddie dismissed it as the lack of lighting in the room, she had stretched out on the couch as Freddie walked over to Her, careful not to make much noise with his steps not needing of another situation like the one He had with his mother hours ago.

In the dark room Sam didn't see Freddie's eyes grow wide as He got close enough to see what she was wearing, which was pretty much nothing in his eyes. Freddie stood looking down at Sam and slowly lowered the ice cream while trying to avert his gaze from her legs. Sam snatched the tub from Freddie's hands and laid it on to her chest, its freezing temperature spreading through her body causing her to shudder slightly but not as much it should have as she tried to force the shudder down.

"So..." Freddie began while sitting at the edge of the couch seeing how Sam had invaded most of the general sitting area of the couch

"Yeah?"

"Real nice of you to leave me to clean up the mess" Freddie said uneasily

"Hey, I threw away the evidence didn't I" Sam said with a mouth full

"* sigh* you should go, me and my mom are on thin ice right now" Freddie said in a low voice

"Why? You didn't clean up the mess in time? "

"Yeah, you could say that" said thinking back to yesterdays events

"Did you see Carly after I left?"

"Yeah, for a few minutes I guess" He lied not wanting to get into the Carly situation just yet

"Notice anything different about her" Sam asked as she dug into the tub not meeting his eyes

'Yes '

"No, why?"

'Because she had her fingers 6 feet deep into her cunt about you' Sam thought bitterly

"No reason" Sam said looking up at Freddie

As they looked into what they thought were each others eyes, they both knew the other knew something but could not probe for information without revealing what they knew in the process. The silence began to build as the two fell into an uncomfortable silence, Freddie looked onto Sam who seemed unaware or just didn't care for the awkward feeling that surrounding them.

"Sam" Freddie called out in a low voice

"Yeah, yeah I'm going but I'm taking the tub with me" Sam said with a frown which Freddie didn't see in the darkness

Freddie followed Sam to the door keeping his eyes trained to the back of her head not wanting his eyes to drift down to her rear; He couldn't afford to have those types of thoughts with all that is going on right now. Sam stopped suddenly a few feet from the door turning to face Freddie, who stood in front of her close enough to feel his breath tickle her nose. Sam suspected that something had happened between Carly and Freddie while she was asleep; though unlikely she always had a sixth sense about things and was right most of the time, she could tell Freddie had lied to her even if she couldn't get a good look at his face. Sam's thoughts raced as she looked up at a slightly uncomfortable Freddie, while she looked as if she wanted to say something but stopped and gave a sigh. Sam broke out of her thoughts when she felt a soft touch on her shoulders. Freddie didn't know what was up with Sam as she seemed to be deep in thought, not really sure what to do He had put his hand on her shoulder hoping to get her back to reality. Finally clearing her mind of her thoughts Sam took her eyes off Freddie's form feeling a blush coming on; Sam spun around once again and continued to the door and Freddie followed.

"Hey Sam" Freddie called out in a low voice as Sam exited his apartment and was about to enter Carly's

"Yeah?" she said looking back at him, this time able to see his face from the hallway lighting

"*hesitation* Ah good night" Freddie mentally smacked himself at how stupid He sounded; He felt He should say something to her but wasn't sure what.

"It's not night anymore" she pointed out forcing down a smile

"Well good morning then"

Sam dropped Her neutral look and switched to a deep frown, she strode over to Freddie who went from a nervous smile ,to worried and then closed his eyes waiting for the inevitable physical punishment she planned to give out, as to why she'd hit him? He didn't know but that was just the way Sam was, always unpredictable. Freddie felt Sam enter his air space, cringing with every moment waiting for the inevitable pain to come but non came. Freddie felt a pair of soft lips make contact with his cheek, still not registering what was happening Freddie kept his eyes closed. Sam pulled away from Freddie and moved back to Her previous position, watching as Freddie finally make sense of it all and slowly started to open his eyes as a deep scowl made its way to Her face. Freddie opened his eyes to a frowning Sam, taken aback by her facial expression Freddie wasn't sure what was going on anymore. Just as He was about to speak Sam moved, taking a few short steps backward she came into contact with the shay apartment door without turning around she opened it and slipped inside Her eyes never leaving his.

"Good morning" She stated as she disappeared behind the door completely

'What the hell was that' Freddie wondered as He turned back to his apartment and shutting the door behind him

Freddie stood stumped in his apartment, his relationship with Sam was reaching a new level of weird, and usually when they were alone she didn't always act aggressive or obnoxious but was cool and not too difficult to be around. The days that followed after they had shared their first were some of the most awkward Freddie had to bear with, all the subtle glances and slight touches they had, but after about a month or so Sam had seemed to find her rhythm and forced their relationship back to a love hate.

' whatever's wrong with Sam I can't think about it she'll be fine, she can take care of herself besides I have enough on my plate as is and being around Her won't do me any good with my current situation…'

"Freddie?" Marissa called out from the hallway leading to their rooms

"Yeah it's me mom" Freddie replied breaking from his thoughts

"Come back to bed" she cooed not really interested in why He was doing up so early

Doing as He was told Freddie walked back into his mother's room and joined her in the bed.

**Sam**

**03:13AM**

Upon entering the shay apartment Sam gave out a sigh as the deep frown fell from her face 'I'm getting soft' she thought as she walked over to the couch, she couldn't blame Freddie for it and she knew it. She had frowned at him because even though she tried to fight the urge to kiss him she had failed miserably. 'I need to stop feeling this way' Sam thought before heading up the stairs back to her best friend's room.

'I have to put some distance between me and that nub' she thought bitterly as she entered the room

Looking down at her sleeping friend Sam joined her once more in bed; she lay on her back looking up at the ceiling. Closing her eyes she hoped sleep would come easy but it didn't, thoughts kept swirling in her head. Realizing sleep would not be coming anytime soon Sam got off the bed deciding she would go home. Sam picked her pants off the floor and slipped them on, a smile crossing her face as she imagined Freddie's face when He saw she wasn't wearing much but the dark had prevented her form getting a good look at his face. Buttoning up Her jeans Sam grabbed a sticky note and pen as she quickly scribbled down a message before sticking it onto Carly's dresser. Sam looked around seeing she hadn't brought much of anything to Carly's apartment she headed down stairs and went out the front door. Taking the lift down to the lobby Sam's thoughts returned back home where she was heading, she hopped that it wasn't another long night of partying but she knew even if it wasn't she would always find something wrong. The elevator came to a stop with a ding, pushing her thoughts aside Sam moved quickly through the lobby smirking as she spotted Lewbert passed out at his desk. Pulling the building door open she was slapped by a wave of early morning air. She hadn't thought to take a sweater with her but it was too late to get one now. Hugging her body tightly she headed to the bus stop.

**Shay apartment**

**06:30 AM**

Carly's eyes fluttered open as Her alarm clock screamed for attention, with an infuriated huff Carly rolled over to the side where Sam was supposed to be grabbing the alarm clock she threw it across the room silencing it as it came into contact with the wall. Sitting up from her position Carly blew away a couple of stray hairs that were obstructing her view. Finally taking note of the missing body in the bed, Carly swung her legs off the bed and on to the floor.

'Probably down stairs helping herself to some ham'

Getting to Her feet Carly went down stairs and once again finding it devoid of life, deciding the bathroom can wait Carly went to Spencer's room. Finding Spencer rapped comfortably in his pile of blankets Carly felt a bit sad having to wake him, but she needed a ride to school as she didn't want to be late.

"Spencer get up" Carly said hopping onto his bed and jumping up and down on it

"Wha…what? What's going on?" Spencer asked getting alert though not fully conscious yet

"Relax its me, get up you need to take me to school" Carly said hopping off the bed

"Its…its still 6am Carls school starts at 7:45 just wake me up when your ready to go" Spencer answered looking at the time on his phone

"No were late every time we do that so get up" Carly said giving him a slight shove before leaving the room

She could hear Spencer's groan as she walked away from his room, she walked into the living expecting to see Sam in the kitchen but founding it empty.

"Hey Spencer?!" Carly called out

"Yeah!"

"Have you seen Sam?!"

"Not since around 2am last night!...I mean morning, but I think I heard Her on the phone with Freddie before I completely fell asleep!"

'On the phone with Freddie?...Sam must have woken up early and decided to head home but why was she on the phone with him that early?' Carly let Her thoughts wonder as she headed towards the bathroom to get ready for school.

**Benson Apartment**

**06:18 AM**

Freddie's eyes snapped open as He woke from his slumber, feeling his heartbeat racing Freddie's eyes darted around the unfamiliar room as a wave of panic washed over him. Slowly Freddie started to remember where He was, looking to his right to see his mothers sleeping form. His heart rate had started to calm as He took deep breaths, Freddie wasn't sure what He had been dreaming off but was certainly glad to be awake now. Extracting himself from one of his mothers legs Freddie got off the bed, picking up his pants off the floor which He had worn during Sam's visit some hours ago. He proceeded to leave the room, as He was turning the door knob Marissa gave out a moan causing Freddie so freeze mid step. Looking back to the bed He found she was still asleep, giving out a sigh in relief Freddie exited his mother's bedroom with as much stealth as He could. Once outside Her door Freddie walked to his room while trying to get his phone from his pants, fiddling with the back pocket He pulled out Sam's bra. He had forgotten to give it to Her, holding the purple lace bra in front of his face Freddie couldn't help it as He brought it too his face and taking a deep sniff. Penetrating his nostrils Sam's scent sent shudders up and down Freddie's spine and his mind to world of lust intoxicating like a drug. Catching himself before He got lost in erotic thoughts of Sam Freddie snapped out of his trance, digging his fingers into his head Freddie roughly ruffled his hair as if trying to erase the thoughts forming in his head. Taking the bra in a fist He walked over to his dresser and roughly shoved it in with his boxers, deciding He needed to get ready for school Freddie headed for the bathroom forcing all thoughts out of his head.

After a grueling hot shower trying to get his mothers scent off him, Freddie was in his boxers as he grabbed a t-shirt out his drawer and held it up in front of him. It was black, a little faded, slightly bigger than his average size and had a picture of a man on a boat fishing and below it the words "Gone fishing", it belonged to his father and it always felt good to be in it.

"Is that what you're going to be wearing today?" Marissa asked as she stepped into his room

Feeling the air rush out of his lungs Freddie spun around to see his mother step into the room. She looked disheveled but strangely attractive in the morning light. Looking up at his mother Freddie wished He could hate her but no such feeling came, He did feel a bit awkward not knowing how to act around Her anymore. 'how do you act around your mother turned lover' He thought.

"Yeah, I guess" He said turning back around and slipping it on

Walking towards Freddie Marissa was wearing a large stripped shirt, wrapping Her arms around him she felt him stiffen a bit but relaxed soon after. She could tell He was still a bit uncomfortable and she needed to change that for them to work, bringing Herself down she kissed him gently on the neck.

"You know you don't have to go to school" she said lustfully into his ear

"I don't?" He said anxiously

"I can call the school and tell them you have a bug or something and I don't have to get to work for some hours" she said giving his ear a lick

With a shudder Freddie carefully untangled his mother's arms from his body and turned to face Her, putting on his best natural look as He faced Her. The thought of skipping school was a pleasant one but the thought of having sex with his mother wasn't.

"That's tempting but we have a history test today and I can't miss it" He lied

"Oh ok, maybe we can…." Letting the conversation drop as she walked towards him

"No, no" Freddie said Taking a step back in a slightly panicked voice "I mean we can't I have to get ready for school"

"I guess I'll have to settle for making you breakfast" she said with a small sad smile

**Ridgeway High School**

**07:56PM**

Checking the time Freddie's suspicions were confirmed, He was indeed late. He had declined his mothers offer to take him to school claiming He would catch a ride with Carly and Spencer, even though that was an option He wasn't ready to deal with Carly just yet. So He had walked, He could have caught a cab or bus but He didn't mind the walk it gave him time to think. Walking into the school Freddie wasn't surprised to find the place completely deserted, with a sigh he bounded up the stairs heading towards his first class. Knocking twice before He entered the class Freddie felt a shiver run up his spine as all eyes diverted from the teachers direction and towards him.

"Nice of you to join us Mr. Benson" ms Briggs greeted

Suppressing an eye roll Freddie muttered a quick apology before finding his seat, making sure to avoid any eye contact with either Sam or Carly. During the walk He wasn't able to come up with a plan on how to deal with what happened between him and Carly or Sam so He settled for making it up as it comes. He briefly looked over his shoulder to see Carly staring back at him and Sam looked to be asleep but He could tell she wasn't. Looking to his left Freddie noticed a new arrival in the class, a guy; looked around the same age as Freddie, a bit scrawny looking and bleach blonde hair with dark brown eyes and very pale skin. Freddie guessed He had missed introductions and would have to ask somebody about him later. The new arrival turned and locked eyes with Freddie; Freddie held his gaze for a moment before turning his gaze back to his eccentric teacher.

'Creep' Freddie deduced as He rested his chin on his palm

The rest of the class was pretty uneventful as ms Briggs went by Her usual routine of pretending to be a teacher, though at some point a note had magically appeared on Freddie's desk asking him out to groovy smoothie on Friday and Freddie didn't have to guess who it was from as He shoved the note into his pocket. A ring was heard throughout the school signaling the end of the first period, students started packing up their books making to leave while ms Briggs tried to give out instructions for the next lesson they had together. Freddie had gathered his books and quickly made his escape from the class, Since He and Carly shared the same classes on most days He would have to hide out a bit until she got settled into the next class before He made his appearance. As He walked out into the hall He caught a glimpse of Sam's golden locks in the sea of people but she disappeared before He could get a good look at Her.

Freddie was looking at his reflection in the boys lavatory as He waited for everyone to settle, He looked better than He had a yesterday but He could see changes in his appearance, his ever present frown being what bothered him most, He tried to fake his usual neutral face but it always came out wrong and if He faked a smile it would always give way to his frown in a few minutes. Freddie was brought out of his internal musings as He noticed He was no longer alone, the new kid was standing by the door looking at him. Turning around to face him Freddie maintained a smile He was hoping would stick.

"Hi, I'm Freddie your new here right?" Freddie greeted

"Yes" the new kid responded his face holding no facial expression whatsoever.

"You have a name?" Freddie asked dropping his smile with a sigh

"Tim" He said turning away from Freddie and entering one of the stalls leaving behind a bemused looking Freddie

Freddie looked at the stall the boy had just disappeared into and sighed turning back to the mirror, it seemed that He had been right with his presumption earlier; the kid was indeed a creep or just had really bad social skills. Freddie sighed again as He heard the busy hallway quite down, picking his bag off the floor He exited the lavatory and made his way to his next class.

**Cafeteria**

'So far so good doesn't seem either Sam or Carly are actively seeking me out, and why would they? I mean nothing much happened with Sam just a bunch of miscommunication and Carly….. maybe I'm just overreacting'

"Hey guys" Freddie greeted his fellow nerds as He sat down at their usual table

He got a "hey" back and a few sneezes from Jeremy as He sat down. It was usually him, Shane Jeremy and Gibby and that was on days He wasn't hanging out with Carly and Sam. It was only Shane and Jeremy this time around though as Gibby hadn't arrived as of yet.

"So what's going on" Freddie asked seeing they seemed to be in a fit of discussion

"Jocelyn's giving out invitations for her party" Shane told him a small smile playing his lips

"And why do we care" He asked never liking the girl

"Her parties are known for being wild, trust me I was there last year and it was out of control"

"I don't care I'm not going, she's an ass" Freddie said nonchalantly

"oh c'mon Freddie you can't still be pissed about that little spat you, Carly and Sam had with Her a while back" Shane said with a chuckle

"I'm over it, but it doesn't matter because she's probably not over it and won't invite me" Freddie said taking a bite of his sandwich

"Well time to find out, here she comes" Shane said giving a curt nod in Jocelyn's direction as she made Her rounds giving out the invitations

Taking another bite at his sandwich Freddie couldn't care less for Her, looking around He watched as everyone waited expectantly. Casting a glance across the room He caught Carly's gaze on him. 'was she watching me the whole time I was here?' He thought looking back at Her, Carly was seated with Sam and three other girls whose names He never could remember. Carly started to wave something at him as his eyes focused He saw it was one of the invitations Jocelyn is passing around, giving Her a questioning look Carly shrugged and He guessed Jocelyn had gotten over their little spat.

"Hey Shane" Jocelyn greeted sweetly laying a hand on Shane's shoulder ignoring the other occupants of the table

"H…ey Jocelyn" Shane replied uncomfortably

"Can I count on you to make another appearance at my party" she said laying an invitation in front of him

"Sure"

"Great" she said with a beaming smile, which fell as she turned to the rest of the tables occupants and zeroing in on Freddie

Tossing an invite to Freddie with a sneer she turned to leave but an expectant cough halted Her from leaving, turning back around she looked at to its source. Jeremy who was seated next to Freddie put on his best lady killer smile; Jocelyn's face went from surprise to amusement as she looked on to the nerd. Turning back to Her previous path Jocelyn roared with laughter as she walked away.

"Hey at least you got Her to laugh" Shane noted as He studied his invitation

Giving out a disappointed sigh Jeremy's face sunk low. Freddie looked down at his invitation and the information of its location, seemed she was hosting the party at Her house and it was about 2 weeks away but that didn't matter He wasn't planning on going, not that his mother would let him anyway. Giving out a sigh of his own Freddie draped his arm on Jeremy's shoulders.

"Hey don't get sound so disappointed" Freddie said trying to comfort his friend

"Says the guy who got an invitation"

"No, says the guy who got invited but isn't going" Freddie corrected

"What?" Shane questioned looking at his friend with a shocked expression

"Yeah I doubt my mum will let me go" Freddie sais taking another bite at his food

"Can I have your invite" Jeremy asked excitedly

"I'm not sure it works that way but sure knock yourself out" Freddie said tossing the invite over to him

"C'mon Freddie you have to come everybody's gonna be there"

"I'll live" He said turning his gaze over to Carly and Sam's table

"Whatever" Shane responded giving up on his friend who seemed to have already lost interest in their conversation

Looking over to Carly and Sam's table Freddie saw Sam glance over to him but as soon as He blinked she had returned to whatever conversation the females were having, Finishing his food Freddie looked down at his watch finding 15 minutes left on their lunch break before the bell rang signaling the end of their break and the beginning of the next lessons. Getting up off the stool Freddie gave a quick goodbye to his friends before exiting the cafeteria, walking through the semi busy hallway and zigzagging his way past a group of girls that seemed to be in a heated gossip session about the new kid. Making it to He's locker without much difficulty Freddie unlocked it and started switching books for the next period. Once done Freddie slammed it shut and turned to leave when He slammed into Carly was trying to sneak up on him.

"Oh sorry Carly I didn't see you there" Freddie said trying to play it cool, yet his brain coming up with ways of escaping his current situation

"Its ok I wasn't watching where I was standing anyway" Carly said with a dry laugh "So if I didn't know better I'd think you were avoiding me" She said Taking a step closer to Freddie

"Why would you think that" Freddie asked playing coy

"Well as soon as the first period was over you rushed out off the class not waiting for me like you usually do, and thinking back to last nights events I'd think you would be happy and not wearing that gloomy face you had on when you walked into class, which leads me to think something's wrong; so what is it?" Carly questioned

"No nothings wrong just a rough morning is all" He said with a shrug

"Gone fishing huh?" Carly said after a few moments of silence passed between them

"What?"

"You're t-shirt"

"Oh yeah…it was my dads" He said with a genuine smile

"Oh….it nice" she said giving it a slight tug and returning his smile

"Thanks its one of the few things I have of my dad…but enough of that what's up?"

"Nothing I was hoping we could talk about last night though" stepping closer to him enough to feel his breath tickle Her nose

"Yeah maybe we could do it after school; I can come over to your place?"

"yeah sure it's a date" she said playfully as she turned away from him and walked away

Releasing a breath He didn't realize He had been holding Freddie shut his eyes for a moment. Freddie sighed and leaned back onto his locker as He felt a head ache creeping its way to the surface. Freddie's eyes Snapped open as the locker next to his slammed shut with a bang, looking to his left Sam's face came into his sights. She had a small smile planted on Her face from his reaction, she didn't speak but continued to stare at him, and Freddie guessed she did it on purpose to make him uncomfortable.

Sam had come around the corner to see Freddie and Carly talking by their lockers, from Sam's view Freddie seemed a little uncomfortable but Carly's body language told Sam that she was interested in Freddie but she still wasn't certain. Carly left a few moments later and Sam approached him, He seemed to be taking a breather meaning whatever He and Carly were talking about was affecting him. He didn't acknowledge Her presence as she opened up Her locker and got Her books, not liking to be ignored Sam slammed Her locker shut breaking him away from his daydreaming. She stared at him wanting him to squirm under Her gaze as He always did when they weren't on the same page.

"Hey what's up" Freddie said uneasily

"The sky" Sam said doing Her best not to smile and taking a step away from him but keeping Her gaze on him

"Uhm what's good?" He said uncertainly never being one to use lingo

"McDonald's apple pie" she said turning away from him and walked up the stairs

'great' Freddie thought with a sigh.

**Benson apartment**

Marissa was down on Her hands and knees ferociously scrubbing down on the bathroom floor in an attempt to keep Her emotional turmoil from spilling out, she had kept Her composure in check pretty well when Freddie was around but once He had left it hadn't been the easiest thing to do. Her lust and happiness had blinded Her to what was truly happening around Her and most importantly what was happening to Freddie. His reaction when she had suggested another sexual encounter had lifted a curtain over Her eyes and as for what she saw; she didn't like, Freddie was frightened of Her and the look in his eyes spoke volumes as to what she was inflicting on him, even though He was trying to keep it together He was slowly falling apart even if He didn't know it yet. Something had to change. Shaking Her head free of Her thoughts Marissa got up off the floor deciding the floor was now spotless, she would have to take a shower and get to work pretty soon.

**Ridgeway High School**

**15:30PM**

Freddie grabbed his bag off the floor and holstered it, the bell had rang signaling the end of school, sparing a glance in Carly's direction He saw Her approach him. There was no way around it He had to talk to Carly sooner or later so avoiding Her was now out of the question. Carly walked over to him and they casually made their way out of the classroom with the rest of the students, Freddie searched the crowd of students filling the hallway for Sam but didn't see any golden lock of hair belonging to Her. Carly and Freddie made their way to the school parking lot where Spencer would be waiting to pick them up, maybe just Carly but Freddie always got a ride home as well. As they walked side by side Freddie noticed that their shoulders were brushing against each other which was not the usual comfortable distance they put in between each other, Freddie had to laugh at the turn his life was taking; now that He may actually have a shot at Carly He can't even take it.

"Where's Sam?" Freddie asked

"Said she had chizz to do" Carly replied

"Did she say what?"

"No she took off before I could ask; she's been acting strange lately I think she's having problems with Her mom" Carly said in a far off voice

"Shouldn't we do something?"

"No, Sam wouldn't like that she'll come to us when she needs us" Carly said letting the conversation drop

Spencer backed out his parking space and drove over to Carly and Freddie who jumped in the back, Spencer drove on casually taking glances at the rear view mirror at the nervous looking teens.

"So how was school" Spencer asked breaking the silence starting to fill the vehicle

Freddie shrugged as He wasn't mentally present anyway

"It was kind of boring but ok I guess, I mean we got invited to Jocelyn's party" Carly answered

"Jocelyn? Why does that name sound familiar?"

"She's the sasquatch that was picking on everybody back when Sam was getting girly lessons from Carly, and I'm not going" Freddie said resting his head against the window watching the scenery go by.

"Oh..." Spencer tried to speak but Carly spoke over him

"Why aren't you going?"

"Don't feel like it I guess" Freddie said with a concealed smile

"If this is about that spat we…"

"Its not" Freddie said rolling his eyes from the window

"Then why not?"

"I have better things to do"

Giving out a giggle at his answer "Like what?" she asked

*Shrug*

"Look even Jocelyn's over that..."

"Really?"

"Why would she invite us if she wasn't?" Carly said folding Her arms over breast

"iCarly"

"iCarly?"

"Yes, more people will come if they hear were going, either that or she's going to find a way to embarrass you and Sam at Her party"

Carly sat looking on at Freddie Her mouth slightly hanging open, she hadn't thought of it that way. Clearing his throat Spencer directed both Carly and Freddie's gaze at him.

"And when is this party?" Spencer questioned in as commanding voice He could muster earning him a chuckle from Freddie and an eye roll from Carly as they knew He was getting into his guardian pants.

Copying Freddie's position Carly also leaned over to the window with a sigh "In about 2weeks"

"Back by midnight" Spencer instructed

"Yes sir" Carly mock saluted

The rest of the car ride was uneventful as Carly continued to try persuade Freddie into going to the party as well, in the end she settled for him saying He'll think about it. They rode the elevator up to the apartments; Freddie told Carly He would join Her in Her apartment to have that talk in a little while. Freddie took out his keys and entered his apartment to find it spotless, the little traces of the weekend that He had left behind were all gone; not that He should have been surprised. He announced his arrival to the apartment and didn't get an answer back confirming that his mother had left for work, dropping off his bag in the living room with a thud Freddie made his way to the Shay apartment. Stopping at the front door of Carly's apartment Freddie took a breath to collect himself before knocking twice and stepping into the apartment.

Carly turned away from the computer to watch as Freddie walked into the apartment, He wore a serious look as He walked but she saw through it, He was nervous and she could tell because as He walked He stuck out his hand and ran it over the couch when He approached Her. Jumping off Her seat Carly went over to him and once again she invaded his personal space and came within kissing range, she knew what she wanted and it made Her wet to think it was barely out of reach. Carly grabbed his hand telling him to follow Her up to Her room so they could talk in private, Freddie obeyed and watched as the girl He has always dreamed of lead him upstairs and was slowly losing his resolution to tell Her that they couldn't capitalize on what had occurred the night before. They reached Carly's room in no time; Carly held the door open for Freddie and motioned for him to enter. As Freddie entered and Carly watched him with an almost childish fascination, like a lion staring at it prey… maybe a lion was too much; a kitten maybe.

"So..." Carly said turning away from the door and to Freddie who had seated himself on the bed and she went over to join him

Carly lowered Herself next to him and turned so that they were starring at one another

"So I was thinking…." Freddie wasn't able to say any more as Carly's lips crashed into his

The impact of the kiss was a bit rough but as Carly got control of herself she softened it gently pressing Her lips with his, Freddie was a bit stunned by the kiss and she could tell as He wasn't returning Her advances. Freddie's shock wore off as He felt Her hand make contact with his lap and moving up towards his crotch area. Freddie brought his arms up to Carly's shoulders and gently pushed Her away before He lost himself, the bulge in his pants evidence that He wouldn't have lasted much longer. Freddie was taken a back by Carly's forwardness and the sudden interest to get into his pants. He watched as Carly stared up at him, a hurt look flashing on Her face.

"Did I do something wrong?" Carly asked in a small voice

"no its just…." Freddie ran out of words as He briefly stared up at Her

He knew that look she was wearing very well He had given it Her on many occasions when He had asked Her out in hope that maybe she would say yes and He couldn't stand it He couldn't deny Her, Freddie slowly raised his hand and gently brushed Her cheek reassuringly. Carly's face seemed to relax a bit as she closed Her eyes and took pleasure in his soft touch.

"its just that were moving pretty fast, a few days we were friends and now were what? We don't even know" Freddie decide He would compromise, if his mother didn't find out it would be alright.

"Uhm...ok your right so where would you like to start" Carly said with a renewed smile

"how about we start at what is this? Us I mean are we boyfriend; girlfriend?" Freddie said sheepishly with a sigh at how lame it sounded

Carly wasn't sure how to answer that question, all she wanted was a certain itch between Her legs scratched but she knew Freddie enough to know He wasn't the fuck buddies type especially when it came to Her. So she decided she only had one option that would get Her what she wanted, she'd give him what He wanted to get what she wanted.

"Is that what you want?" she said not meeting his eyes

"If that's what you want"

"Uhm sure we can give it a try" she said huskily as she closed the distance between them once again

Freddie's lips quirked upwards as they kissed, returning the kiss as best He could Freddie felt the tension that had been building since He woke up in his mothers bed slip away; in this moment and time it was just him and Carly and He didn't have to think about his mother or what would inevitably follow once she got back from work. Something in the back of Freddie's mind was nagging him that something about this felt off, Freddie gently broke off the kiss but didn't draw away from Carly keeping their foreheads together.

"hey can I ask you something?" Freddie said sounding out off breath

"You just did" she said with a smile masking Her irritation

"another one then" He returned Her smile

"sure"

"why"

"why what?" Carly feigned ignorance

" Why this, since you've gotten over your hero worship for me we returned to me declaring my undying love for you and you shooting me down but now…." Freddie let his voice trail off as He brought his eyes to hers.

"why am into you?"

"yeah" his breath tickling Her nose

"to tell you the truth Freddie I've always had feelings for you but never wanted to ruin our friendship"

"so what's changed?"

"I was thinking about it the other day and maybe we could give us a shot"

Freddie accepted Carly's reason and brought their lips together, his to tongue probed Her mouth for entry and gained excess as Carly parted Her teeth and tilted Her head to one side. They continued snogging for a few minutes before Carly drew away from him, Carly pushed off Her shoes and fully laid on top of the bed while motioning for Freddie to follow. Freddie got off the bed and took off his shoes his eyes never leaving Hers and from the bottom of the bed Freddie climbed up on his knees until He was directly on top of Her. He lowered himself slowly onto Her until their lips met, Carly breathing out a moan as Freddie's body came into contact with hers. As they continued to kiss Carly brought Her arms up and slid them into Freddie's t-shirt raking them up and down his sides and back causing Freddie to give out a groan into Her mouth. Carly grabbed the hem of his t-shirt tugging it upwards causing Freddie to draw away from Her, standing up on his knees and starring down at Carly Freddie gave Her a nervous look.

" Don't you think this is a little fast"

" not really we've known each other for years, think of this as making up for lost time" Carly said grabbing his t-shirt and pulling him back down to Her.

Freddie didn't argue as Carly brought him back on top of Her, once again grabbing the hem of his shirt Carly yanked it over his head and wiping it across the room, after Carly gave him the go ahead Freddie was feeling slightly bold; grabbing the hem of Her shirt Freddie pulled Carly's top over Her head and sending it across the room. Having sex with his mother hadn't been effortless but it had come with an advantage, He now had some experience in giving pleasure to a women as his mother had pointed out to him what felt good and what didn't. Freddie brought his arm down to Carly's thigh gripping it and pulling it towards him putting himself directly in-between Her legs, Freddie brought his other hand up to Carly's bra and slipping his hand under it to give Carly's breast a good squeeze. Carly moaned into his mouth and Freddie broke off their lips and started to kiss Her along her jaw line and down to Her neck. Carly stared up at the ceiling with a smile as Freddie kissed and licked on Her neck but she noticed that He was being gentle with Her, all his touches felt good but she knew He was holding back, He was holding back some of his body weight as well; supporting it with his elbow and knees. If she had wanted a normal fuck she would have fucked him a long time ago, Carly brought Her arms up and cupped Freddie's head bringing him to face Her.

"don't be gentle with me Freddie I'm a big girl I can take it" she said before bringing their lips together once more.

Freddie slid his hands down Carly's pants and began to unbutton them, They stripped off their clothes as they continued to explore each others bodies. Once they were both completely unclothed Freddie slowly guided his hard member into Carly with a groan which was accompanied by a moan from Carly who was gritting Her teeth in both pain and pleasure as multiple shudders ran up and down Her spine. They found their rhythm as Carly's cries of pleasure grew louder, which Freddie silenced by crashing his lips onto Hers. Freddie was slowly losing himself in lust and with a deep groan he came but continued to pull in and out of Carly for a few seconds and she came as well, and with that He collapsed on top of Her, both their breathing labored.

Eyes closed Freddie lay on his back waiting for the blood to return to his primary head, Freddie slowly opened his after what felt like hours of drifting in and out of sleep. Looking to his right He found his former best friend in the same position He had last seen Her in, Carly had been overwhelmed by the events leaving Her unconscious. They hadn't slipped into the sheets so Carly lay bare on the bed, Freddie set up from the bed before swinging his feet of the bed and onto the floor, Freddie's eyes roamed the room before locating his boxers scattered among his other clothes which lay across the room. After slipping into his boxers Freddie went over to Carly and tucked Her into bed, she seemed to be out cold as she hadn't even flinched when He had picked Her up.

Freddie stood now fully dressed looking down at the sleeping form of Carly, He had always imagined the day He and Carly would finally be together and He hadn't imagined it like this. It hadn't been perfect but that was alright recent events had proved the long standing statement that life wasn't perfect. Giving Her light kiss on the forehead Freddie made for the door and giving Carly a departing look before stepping out of the room, Spencer was in the living room working on what seemed to be his next art piece, to Freddie Spencer's art looked like pieces of crap but to him all art was crap and He considered Spencer's art on top of all that crap.

"Hey Spencer" Freddie called out as He reached the bottom of the stairs

"Hey, what's up?" Spencer replied drilling another hole into a wooden board

"Just finished brain storming ideas for iCarly with Carly, she said she was going to take a nap and said to tell you not to disturb her and I'll see you later"

"Later" Spencer shouted after Freddie who was almost out of the apartment

**Seattle Medical center**

Marissa lay back as hot water rained from above and slowly worked away the tension that had been built during the day, too bad she couldn't she couldn't shut off the voices that seemed to be eating away at her sanity. She had been lying to herself whenever she was with Freddie, telling herself it wasn't wrong but she knew it was and as long as she didn't think about it; it was ok. She couldn't do it anymore though, reality had come knocking and she was finding it hard not to answer.

**Voice:** You have to stop

I can't, I love him

**Voice**: You're so selfish, you don't even care of how this is affecting him; you saw the look in his eyes

Freddie is fine and loves me more than ever

**Voice**: He doesn't love you He hates you, whatever love He had for you died when you decided to screw him!

Please stop

**Voice:** You need to stop

I can't!

"Marissa?" Ellen managed to croak out as she watched Her friend crouched down in a fetal position in the shower

Ellen wasn't sure what to do as she watched Marissa looked up at Her, Her sniffling confirming that tears were running down Her face. Ellen was never one who liked to show any sort of emotion but she couldn't help Her self as she switched off the shower, and went down to hug Her friend, not caring to get wet. There were other female nurses in the shower room and were quickly crowding around the pair whispering amongst themselves as they wondered what was going on.

"Everybody out!" Ellen bellowed turning Her head to glare at them

No one needed to be told twice as the nurses quickly dispersed and exited the female shower room, whatever was happening they didn't want to get caught up in it especially when Ellen is involved. Ellen pulled back from Marissa to give Her a good look and brushing away some stray hairs away from Marissa face.

"it's going to be alright Mari" Ellen whispered into Marissa's ear as she pulled Her into another hug

It had taken a while before Ellen had gotten Marissa to calm down and out of the shower where she was presently drying Her off with a towel. Ellen had been a nurse most of Her adult and Her job required taking care of people but as she sat drying Her friend she had no clue what she should do next, this was Her problem she was never sure how to act when it was people she cared about.

"what is it Mari?" Ellen questioned uneasily

Tears were brimming from Her eyes as she looked up at Ellen, shame ate away at Her but she knew she needed help; she couldn't lie to herself anymore.

"I love him Ellie" Marissa choked out before lowering Her gaze to Her feet

"Freddie?" Ellen asked seeming confused

Marissa gave a slow nod "And I just can't stop Ellie" Marissa said looking up at Her friend tears running down Her face.

T.B.C

**A.N:** Reviews are always welcome, and for any mistakes let me know and I'll fix em right up.

3ohE


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Control**

Control: the ability to purposefully direct or suppress change. Marissa had always been one who liked to be in control, if asked she was sure anyone in her life would refer to her as a control freak and yet in this moment and time she had lost control. The situation she was now in hindered her from controlling the outcome of today's events and that thought scared her, all that once filled her mind had now departed and replaced by fear. Fear of what was to come next as her friend stared down at her contemplating what she was to say.

"It-..It's going to be okay Mari-" Ellen cooed "I know it's hard for us to step away from our kids and let them breathe… I know you love Freddie but you have to stop smothering him Mari…"

Marissa's fears were expunged from Her as it seemed Ellen had not fully understood the implications carried by Her words, Marissa knew Her friend wasn't stupid and Her ignorance of the meaning of what she had said was understandable as most people would rather stay blissfully ignorant than to know the truth. If the truth had been revealed it would have shaken or destroyed their friendship and most likely ended it with Her losing what she held dear in Her life and spending some years in prison, so Marissa was glad Her friend had avoided the truth but that didn't excuse Herself from Her own actions and Marissa knew she needed to get a hold of herself.

**Parking lot (Seattle medical center)**

Ellen watched as Marissa Bensons car pulled out the lot and drove away until it was out of sight, Ellen had a look of indifference as she Marissa words rang through Her mind 'I love him El And I just can't stop'. She had sounded so desperate that it broke her heart even now as she thought back to her friend's breakdown, but that wasn't the reason she now sat in her car seemingly unable to move. It had been gnawing at Her; at the back of Her mind since she had entered the car, the feeling that she was missing something or most likely avoiding something but she didn't want to think about it right now; it had been a long day and Marissa's breakdown adding to it had exhausted Her and all she wanted to do right now was go home and clock in as many hours of sleep as she could. With a sigh Ellen let her hand comb through her head and she slipped the car into gear before driving off.

**Shay Apartment**

Carly watched the bits of cereal as they went around in loops as she stirred her cereal, she didn't know how long she had been doing it as her mind was recalling yesterdays events. She had lost her virginity and a slight burning sensation in her crouch area was proof of that, when she thought back to the deed it all seemed a blur but she remembered the elation she had felt as she came and it made it all worth it. She had waked to find her partner gone but herself nicely tucked into her bed, by the time she woke it was quite late and after much deliberation she decided she would talk to Freddie the following day. Carly sat up straight breaking out of her trance, picking up her half eaten breakfast and discarding it on the sink.

"Hey you ready to go?" Spencer asked as He entered the living room

"Sure just let get my bag then we can go"

X

Spencer watched his little sister from the rear view mirror as she gazed out the window, she seemed to be deep in thought and that had been her state all morning and Spencer surmised that something was up but as for what; He couldn't guess.

"You ok Carls?" Spencer asked keeping his eyes on Carly through the rear view mirror

"Never better" Carly answered with a dazed smile as she turned to meet her brother's eyes

**Ridgeway High School**

Freddie silently waved at his mother as she drove away, He continued to watch the vehicle until it had disappeared into the city but continued to watch as He wondered if something was wrong. His mother hadn't met his eyes since she had returned from work last night and even more strange she hadn't made any advancement towards him whatsoever; had she come to her senses? He could only hope. With a sigh Freddie started towards the school entrance but stopped abruptly as a puff of smoke revealed Malika **(Magic Malika)** blocking his path, Freddie smiled at Malika's dramatic appearance which she returned with a slightly mental smile.

"Hey Malika" Freddie greeted the eccentric girl

"Good morning Freddie, have you prepared an answer for my proposition for this Friday?"

"Good morning and … I can't...I sort of have a girlfriend" Freddie replied not sure how much He should elaborate on his new found relationship as He hadn't talked to Carly yet.

"Oh…well I guess now would be the right time to make my exit huh" she said in a disheartened voice

Malika wasn't very popular and didn't have many if any friends, she got lonely at times not having friends but she found comfort in magic. It always cheered Her up to perform something new successfully especially when it was in front of people and how she'd leave them guessing when she was done. She'd had a crush on Freddie for a long time but wasn't sure how to approach him, Her first attempt was at the girls choice dance which hadn't worked out so well as Freddie didn't seem to like Her magic tricks very much. Magic was the only way she knew how to connect with people and during the night of the dance she had tried to act as normal as she could but she was so nervous that she had fallen back to her usual antics and used magic to try gain Freddie's attention; which was more or less centered on Carly. She considered herself an outsider in the school and had hoped being with Freddie could change that but it would seem she was too late and He was now taken. With a sigh she gave him a weak smile and made for the school entrance, not really feeling magical at the moment.

"Wait Malika" Freddie called out before she reached the door, not being able to stand the hurt look she had given him.

"Yes" Malika responded expectantly

"Uhm maybe we could go as two friends just hanging out?" Freddie asked uncertainly

"Ok" Malika said her smile returning without the mental part this time around

"Great so I'll meet you at the groovy smoothie after school on Friday" Freddie got a curt nod in affirmation before Malika disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Freddie was about to make his way inside when He noticed the new kid standing stock still starring wide eyed where Malika had just vanished, Freddie couldn't help but chuckle at the trepidation displayed by the boys face. Freddie's chuckles broke Tim from his shocked state and He quickly regained composure before turning his gaze to Freddie.

"How did she do that?" Tim asked calmly

"Hm... don't know, never really thought to ask" Freddie replied

"Really?" He asked with a skeptical look on his face

Shrug

"Well I will have to ask her about it sometime" He said making to leave but paused briefly and turned to Freddie once more "You should tie your shoe laces" then headed up the stairs and entered the school.

Freddie looked down to his sneakers to find them untied and quickly tied them and entered the school as well, the halls were quite busy making him think coming in late wasn't such a bad thing. His first period would be with Mr. Henning and He was already dreading it, Freddie unloaded some books into his locker before heading to his first class; it was still early and he had about 30 minutes before the class actually started. He sat down in his usual position flipped out his pear pod and popped the earphones in his ear figuring He could listen to some music and read ahead of the class and doze off during the actual lesson, holding up the book in front of him He lightly He tapped its back as the sounds of Franz Ferdinand filled his ears.

X

'Sam watched as the masses in the hallway went about their business, gossiping, spreading rumors and lies; so unworthy of life… and with that she knew she was doing the right thing. She slipped her hand to the back of her pants pulling out a Glock 45. And letting loose a couple of shells at the unsuspecting victims, Screams filled the air as two bodies were cut down, painting the floors crimson with their blood. Grinning maniacally Sam basked in the horror before her, proclaiming pandemonium the name of the day.'

Sam broke out of her thoughts lips cracking into a smile, she knew it was wrong to think of such things but she couldn't help it. These thoughts always managed to cheer Her up when Her days were bleak, she had left the house early not wanting there to be any chance of bumping into his mothers latest one night stand victim as He made his escape. She made her way to Her first class which she was quite sure would be deserted as there was some time before the lesson started, she was sure Carly hadn't arrived yet and there was no point in having meaningless conversation with the rest of the population so she figured she could just hide away for a while. She entered Mr. Henning's classroom to find the class empty except for one occupant, before she could think of turning away from the classroom his eyes darted straight at her. Sam gave a mental sigh as their eyes met, and she had been doing such a fine job at avoiding him. Freddie was her friend and she couldn't openly avoid him so leaving wouldn't be wise; and so she pushed forward and sat her self down next to him.

"Hey!" Freddie greeted louder than He intended as the music hindered his hearing. Sam was seated to his left and forcefully yanked the left earphone out of his ear before responding.

"You were screaming at me" she told him as He gave her an annoyed look

"We'll you didn't have to be so rough" He moped as He massaged his ear

"Sorry" Sam said shamefacedly as she found her mood returning to the slight depression she had started with.

…**.**

…**.**

…**.**

"What?" Sam asked as Freddie gawked at Her open-mouthed

"You just apologized"

"Hmm I guess I did" she said casually

…**..**

…**..**

"What are you doing here so early class doesn't start for another twenty minutes?" Freddie asked giving up on getting an explanation for the apology.

"I thought this place would be empty, giving me a few minutes of peace" she said emphasizing on peace

"Ok" Freddie said getting the point and slipping on his earphone and turning his attention back to his book.

Sam watched as Freddie went back to his reading, she took up Freddie example and started looking through Her beg for Her pear pod seeing that there wasn't much she could do and reading was out of the question. After a few moments of looking through her beg she came to the conclusion that she had left her pear pod at home, looking over to Freddie Sam grabbed the legs of his desk and chair pulling their desks together. Ignoring Freddie's puzzled look she took the earphone from his left ear and slipping it on, she made to grab the pear pod but Freddie had already moved it out of her reach.

"My pod my music, if you want to listen you'll listen to what I play" Freddie said taking advantage of her less forceful mood

"Fine whatever, just turn up the volume I can't hear a thing" Sam said in a weary tone

"Sure"

Freddie watched Sam from the corner of his eyes, contemplating why she seemed to be in a submissive mood, usually she would forcefully try to take the pear pod from him and He would let her. Turning up the volume He watched as Sam's eyes seemed to go into a daze and surmised that her passive attitude was just because she had a lot on her mind.

"What the hell is this?" Sam asked breaking Freddie from his internal deliberations

"What?" Freddie asked

"The garbage your making me listen to"

"Oh that's Franz Ferdinand, their awesome huh?" He said with a smile

"No they suck" Sam huffed

"From you I'll take that as a compliment" Freddie said with an eye roll but smiled as He flipped to another page

Sam continued to berate Freddie's music and Freddie countered by blaming it on her personality defects, Sam felt a familiar warmth spread through her as they continued to argue. She felt her mood lighten as they went on conversing on Freddie lack of taste when it comes to good music and she had implied him being a homosexual a few times.

"Ok that's enough, give me the pod I can't stand anymore of your cheesy selections" Sam said holding out her hand

"Like I said, my music my selections" Freddie said

"You can either give it to me now or I can take it, you choose" Sam said giving him a look of indifference

"And welcome back miss Puckett" Freddie said with a sigh as He handed her the pod

Sam gave him a light shove and started to flip through his music giving him a few incredulous looks as she scrolled, finally finding something to Her taste and playing it she tossed the player back to Freddie.

"Well I'm surprised Fredward, I never figured you for a Metallica type guy"

"I'll have-"

Freddie was interrupted mid sentence as their classmates started filling into the classroom, and in the middle of the crowd filling into the room Carly stared at him and Sam. Freddie could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand as Carly made her way over to them, He was dumbstruck as she draped her hair over him and kissed him full on the mouth. He hadn't been expecting public displays of affection so soon in their relationship but returned Carly's kiss before she pulled away and sat to his right. Looking to his left to find Sam's mouth hanging slightly open He could only guess what was going through Sam and the rest of the classes mind as they all stared disbelievingly towards the them. Freddie was about to try explain the situation to Sam when Mr. Henning entered and motioned for Sam to put some distance between she and Freddie. Freddie sighed as Carly mouthed to Sam that she would explain later, the rest of the lesson was pretty much a disaster as its entirety was spent gossiping on Freddie and Carly's newly discovered relationship.

**Hallway**

The trio gathered at the their lockers with Sam folding Her arms over Her breasts as she waited for an explanation, Freddie looked to Carly to explain seeing it would be easier for Her to explain the situation.

"Ok who wants to explain to me what just happened in there" Sam glared at her two friends

"I'll leave you two to the girl talk then" Freddie said picking up his backpack and making his escape

"So…" Carly strung out

"Well?" Sam asked

"Ok so long story short me and Freddie confessed our undying love for each other and got together" Carly said hurriedly

"Wait what?" Sam said unable to process the information she was receiving

"Me and Freddie are a couple now" Carly rephrased

"And when did this happen?" Sam asked incredulously

"Yesterday. I would have told you then but you had chizz to do"

"I'm sorry but I don't get it, you've rejected that nub since forever and now out of nowhere you're together?" Sam said giving Carly a skeptical look

"Yeah I know but I always liked Freddie I just didn't want to ruin our friendship" Carly said in as best genuine voice as she could muster

"I- I don't know Carls, are you sure that's it?" Sam asked not sure if it wasn't her wishing it wasn't or a feeling Carly had another motive behind her relationship with Freddie.

"Of course I'm sure Sam" Carly said brushing off Sam's question.

…**.**

…**.**

…**.**

"Hey I got to get to class, we'll talk about this later I need some time to process this" Sam said walking away from Carly

Carly watched Sam walk away her smile growing with every step Sam took away from her. After walking in on Sam and Freddie like that in Mr. Henning's class it had aroused something within her to claim Freddie as her own. Sam may have been in denial but Carly knew she liked Freddie more than she let on, every time Carly brought up the idea Sam would shoot it down and Carly felt now that Freddie was hers Sam had no right to him. Heading towards her next class Carly wondered what the ramifications of her actions earlier on would be.

**Cafeteria**

His hands were sweating profusely, looking down to his right hand intertwined with hers he found it a wonder why she hadn't removed hers from his or made a formal complaint about it. They were about to enter the cafeteria for the first time as a couple and Carly had insisted that he accompany her to her usual spot among her friends; "to show off her arm candy" she had said. He looked up to find her gazing at him with a slight smile playing her lips and she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. She knew he was nervous and as Freddie met her eyes he gained resolution with a new found confidence, he was dating the girl of his dreams and would enjoy it as long as he could. Walking into the cafeteria immediately he could hear the whispers of his name, Carly's name or both their names in the same sentence, with Carly setting the pace they reached her table in a short time. He watched as Carly found her seat in the sea of girls seated at her table, whom were all staring up at him with rather large smiles with the exception of Sam who sneered at him.

"Ladies" Freddie greeted after dropping a quick kiss on Carly's cheek and making his escape

Making his way to his fellow Av club members Freddie felt relief wash over him, with the Av club members he felt at home and despite Sam's banter about them being losers he thought they were quite cool...relatively speaking. By the time he sat down all conversation around the table had died and all eyes were transfixed on him.

"Well?" Shane said with a smirk being the first to voice his curiosity

"Well what?" Freddie feigned ignorance

"Finally wore her down till she said yes huh" Gibby chipped in

Freddie suppressed a scowl at Gibby's comment "So did anyone catch Caprica last night" Freddie said trying steer clear of the subject

"You can't seriously be trying to change the subject right now, come on Freddie spill" Shane continued to prod

"***sigh*** there's really nothing to tell guys, Carly thought to give us a try and here we are" Freddie said nonchalantly

"That's it?" Gibby asked slightly surprised

"More or less...yeah, what did you expect?" Freddie said turning to Gibby, who was exhibiting signs of slight jealousy

"I don't know, maybe something corny straight out of the movies" Gibby said

"Really" Freddie asked

"It does seem more you're style" Shane added

"Fine whatever lets just change the subject" Freddie said in exasperated tone

"What? And drop such an interesting topic, no not yet" Shane said with a chuckle "So when did this happen?" he continued

"Yesterday"

"And what happened after?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean"

"No I don't" Freddie said getting up and making to leave

"Fine I'll respect your privacy" Shane said with a shrug watching Freddie make to leave "So I guess you're going to the party now?"

"Nope" Freddie said returning to his seat as the topic was changed

"I thought Carly and Sam were going" Gibby said some what confused

"I don't know about Sam but yeah Carly seems to want to go"

"And you aren't?" Shane asked with a skeptical look

"Just because Carly's going doesn't mean I should"

"Yes it does" Shane and Gibby said simultaneously

"And why would that be?" Freddie asked in a weary voice

"In case you haven't noticed Carly is smoking hot and they'll be a lot of guys there looking to score, add that to an absentee new found boyfriend and the next time you see her she won't be your woman" Gibby explained

Freddie massaged his temples feeling a headache coming on, He hadn't thought about that and now that it was out there he could feel insecurity making it way into him, with a sigh Freddie muttered a quick goodbye to his friends and exited the cafeteria needing to get away from them before they concocted anymore inane ideas into his head. He could just chuck it up to Gibby and Shane trying to self destruct his relationship but even still he couldn't help feeling there was some truth to what they had said. Being with Carly felt amazing and with the situation with his mother he needed someone to take his mind of the issue and so far Carly was keeping him better than ok. He felt slightly guilty for that, feeling like he was using Carly just to avoid his problems because he couldn't really tell how he felt about Carly, being with her made it easier to deal with things but was that the only reason he was with her?. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't answer that question, partly because he was afraid the answer wouldn't be the one he was looking for.

**Puckett Residence**

Sam was in a daze as she handed her best friend one of her mother's morning after pills, she wasn't worried that her mother would find out as she had loads more stashed somewhere. Sam unconsciously grit her teeth as a sense of betrayal kicked her in the gut, she had no right to feel this way about her friend but she did, though for the sake of their friendship she would bury it. She had been coming to terms with Freddie and Carly being together but them having sex was another thing entirely, as Carly had droned on about her experience with "her Freddie" Sam could feel her stomach churn and had to give it her all to keep the bile from rising up her throat. Sam smiled and responded to Carly as well as she could after Carly told her about her first time and explaining the need for the pills as they did not use protection in their moment of carnal passion. She gave Carly the pills and subtly ushered her out of the house stating that her mother would be home soon and she didn't want her to be around when she did, that earned her a sympathy look from Carly but it was worth getting her out of there.

After she was sure Carly was gone she let her mask fall and her face was quick to show the inner turmoil she was having, she lightly padded up the stairs to her room and threw herself on her bed letting it swallow her. Facedown on her pillow Sam let out a muffled sob, she didn't understand why she was crying and didn't want to and so she silently let the tears pour out of her eyes for what seemed like hours until she finally ran out. Getting up from her prone position on the bed Carly's voice rang through her head as she described Freddie touches and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't shut the voices out, finally her thoughts of Freddie and Carly proving too much for her; she made a dash for the bathroom and letting what little contents she had in her stomach be wrenched out into the toilet. Feeling like she was about to pass out Sam felt a pair of hands gently run from her neck to the back of her head collecting her gold locks and holding them away from her face. She tried to look back to find the source but the gagging kept her in place, one hand moved away from her hairs and started rubbing her back and Sam felt herself calm at the comfort.

"Are you Ok honey?" Pam Puckett cooed to her daughter

"I-I'm Ok thanks mom, must be something I ate" Sam said pushing away from the toilet getting off her knees and sitting on the floor gazed up at her mother

'She's sober' was the first thought that came to Sam's mind, bringing a smile to her face. When her mother was sober she was a great mother maybe not the best but the best Sam could hope for from her mother. It was rare to have a moment with when she was sober these days, though Sam didn't blame her. After her father left those many years ago the woman was never the same. The divorce had left Pam a broken and weak person and though she masked it well with all the alcohol and men she slept with Sam knew she was still hurting over the divorce. With her father gone Sam realized a long time ago that she had to be strong; never weak as she had to take care of her mother and sister and for years she had remained the glue of her broken family though sometimes in days like these she didn't mind to be taken care off.

Pam gave a small chuckle and helped Sam up to her feet "You need to start watching what you're eating then"

"I'll do my best" Sam spoke softly as she was led to her room

Sam was feeling rather weak from all the days' events and entered her bed longingly; Pam sat at Sam's bedside and brushed some of her golden locks away from her face before giving her a small kiss on the forehead.

"Hey Sam"

"Hm..." Sam responded already losing consciousness

"Momma loves you" She croaked out

"Love you too…" Sam said in a fleeting voice as she lost consciousness

Pam watched her daughter sleep with tears streaming down her own face, using her right hand to muffle the sounds of her sobs from escaping; Pam wept.

T.B.C

**A.N:** Reviews are always welcome, and for any mistakes let me know and I'll fix em right up.

3ohE


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Moment of insanity**

**Puckett Residence**

Wiping the last remnants of her tears from her face Pam Puckett sighed, she hated the feelings she was having at the moment; guilt and self loathing were the most prevalent of all. Melanie had left for boarding school and though stating she was leaving for educational purposes Pam could see through that little white lie; she just hadn't been able to take anymore of Pam's drunken behavior. Pam knew that her drinking was or already had destroyed her family, she had tried a few times to stop but that hadn't worked out so well; Sam had stuck by her through it all even going as far as taking a break away from iCarly but no matter how hard she tried she always ended at the bottom of a bottle. Pam sat looking down at Sam wondering how long she would put up with her shit before deciding to leave her just like her father and twin sister had, quickly as the thought had come she banished it to the back of her mind with her deepest insecurities. Sam would never leave her she concluded getting off the bed with a sniffle; she left the room and went down to the kitchen where she would fix herself a drink before going to a pub.

X

Pulling her station wagon into the Parking lot of the bar, Pam pulled the rear view mirror towards her face and started to fix up her hair before heading inside. Pamela Puckett was in her forties but always made it a priority to look a few years younger than her actual age when she went out. Picking up guys wouldn't come easy if you looked like someone's mother, after her divorce she had tried to move on but she never got over Sam's father and any other man she met only stuck around until they got what they wanted; that's all she was… a quick fuck to them. Many a time she had been hurt and anything above physical attraction was now met with a cold shoulder, she would not allow another man to hurt her again and now she used men just like they had used her.

She pulled the cold heavy door aside and stepped inside and was met by a musky smoke filled atmosphere but she didn't mind it, she had long grown used to it. She let her eyes wonder around the bar scene before finding her objective, a guy who looked to be in his thirties, jet black hair and wearing a leather jacket a t-shirt and some blue faded out jeans; he was starring right at her examining her every curve and as she looked into his eyes she was drawn to him, his eyes as if daring her to come over. She gave a deep sigh and let the tension she had accumulated from work fade away from her as she made her way over to an empty stool next to the stranger, she could already tell it would be an interesting night.

**Shay Apartment**

Feeling the rhythmic tumbling underneath her brought a smile to Carly's face as it formed an idea in her head, she was washing her slightly blood stained blanket and waiting for the machine to finish seated on top of it. Her day at school was rather exciting with the unveiling of her relationship with Freddie; the two of them together seemed to shift a few opinions about them. She had noticed most girls were seeing Freddie in a different light now that he was with her, she had caught Tasha and Wendy checking him out when they thought she wasn't looking. She herself was getting a number of flirtatious looks from a few guys some of them seniors, though she wasn't as of yet interested in any of them but couldn't help feeling good about it. She and Freddie had tried to talk about the other night but that proved more difficult than she had originally anticipated though it was clear enough that they had both enjoyed themselves. Carly frowned as she recalled Freddie's precision with his touches, it had been like he had experience but that couldn't be true as he had also said it was his first time and she trusted Freddie enough to know he wasn't lying to her. The possibility of him lying was there but she couldn't find any candidates that were in his life he could have fucked, with the exception of Sam of-course and she couldn't put it past them to hold that bit of information from her as they had about their shared first kiss.

The rumbling underneath her stopped abruptly signaling the end of the of the washing cycle and bringing her out of her thoughts, she unloaded and loaded the blanket into the dryer before making her leave of the washroom tired of waiting around for the next operation to finish. She went up to her room and slipped into skinny jeans and a tank top before heading down stairs to find Spencer stretched out on the couch, she muttered to him that she was off to Freddie's apartment to brainstorm ideas for iCarly; in her quick leave she missed the frown that formed on Spencer's face. Reaching Freddie's apartment door she ruffled her hair for him before knocking, thankful that Mrs. Benson was on the night shift today giving her all the time in the world to be with Freddie.

**Benson Apartment**

Marissa watched Freddie systemically troubleshoot her entertainment center which had a problem she couldn't figure and so she had asked Freddie to come have a look at it. Her plan to keep some distance between them until she could control her urges for him had seemed like a good idea when she had decided upon it but now as she saw him crouched down in front of her she felt her resolution start to falter. He had seemed more cheerful when he had returned from school and it made her glad she had asked for Lisa to cover her shift tonight, it had been a while since either of them had been in a pleasant non erotic mood though she had to admit that was more her than him. She was about to reach down and caress his neck when there was a knock at the door, Freddie made to get it but she put an arm on his shoulder muttering that she would get and for him to continue; though she didn't miss the anxious look he had on his face. She reached the door as the knocker knocked again, pulling the door open to reveal a sexily disheveled Carly who was leaning on the outer door post with a naughty mischievous look in her eyes. Marissa had a bewildered look as she scanned the teenager in front of hers appearance and as though a glass was dropped on the floor and shattered into a thousand pieces the silence in her mind was broken. Carly's face went from seductive to deer caught in the head lights but before she could speak the Benson apartment door had been slammed shut.

Marissa felt herself go into a daze as it came to her, Freddie's cheerful mood, Carly's seductive appearance and the anxious look he had when she went to answer the door made her realize she wasn't supposed to be here and that slut had planned to bang Freddie under her own roof. The emotions running through her were not masked by her face as she reentered her bedroom and see Freddie's body tense.

"Who was it" Freddie asked anxiously

"Nobody" Marissa answered her voice dangerously low but deep

Before Freddie could speak she was in front of him her hair obstructing his view of her eyes, she let out a low primal growl as she grabbed the back of his head scooping up a handful of his hair as she did and thrusting it downward, bringing Freddie's face upwards. Freddie let out an agonizing cry which was silenced by her mouth on his devouring his every cry, Freddie tried to pull away but her other hand had found his back keeping him in place. Marissa let go of his hair and pulled away from him with a fair share of saliva trailing as their mouths separated, she grabbed his arm and led him over to the bed and pushing him onto it. She heard him making a few subtle protests but none of which went heard, she climbed up the bed after him and straddled him keeping her eyes on his. He was afraid and she liked it he had to know what he meant to her even if she had to put the fear of god into him, she unzipped his jeans and got off him long enough to roughly pull his jeans and boxers off him exposing his manhood. She reached under the skirt she was wearing and slipped off her panties and tossing them over to Freddie, who had now settled into a dark look; his eyes vacant but that went unnoticed by Marissa.

She was once again on top of him kissing him full on the mouth as her hands roamed his body; her hips grinding against his and her vagina lightly rubbing against his growing manhood. She felt his man hood come fully erect against her pussy; her hands found his manhood with ease and guided him into her with a yelp in pleasure sending shivers down her spine. She rid his cock harder than she had on previous occasions, the pleasure overriding the pain. Brushing her hair away from her face she brought her eyes down to meet his empty vacant ones.

"Fuck me Freddie" she growled at him

…

…..

…..

"I said fuck me Freddie!" She screamed at his unresponsive form

A sick clown like smile covered half her face as she felt his hands shoot up and put a deathly grip on her arms, with strength she didn't know Freddie possessed he flipped her on her back and matched her thrusts tenfold. Gritting her teeth she shut her eyes as she felt the waves of pleasure overwhelm her, her breaths shallow she dug her nails into Freddie as she came. Freddie groaned as they came simultaneously feeling her hands dig into his back, he continued to thrust for a few more seconds before coming to a halt his eyes tightly shut. Marissa was broken from her euphoria as she felt a liquid splash against her cheek bones, slowly opening her eyes she looked up to find the source of the leak. The remnants of her Euphoria was eradicated as she saw fresh tears spilling out of her sons tightly shut eyes, with that she brought her arms up around him bringing him down for a hug. Freddie released a few choked sobs against her chest as she continued to hug him.

"Shhh Freddie… its ok…. mommy loves you" she shushed and cooed into his ear

T.B.C

**Author's notes**: I know its short but I just felt I should explain a bit about Sam's mother. Things have to get really bad before they can get better so don't expect rainbows any time soon. Thanks to all who have reviewed and added this story on their alerts, it nice to know I have an audience. Anyway reviews are always welcome, and for any mistakes let me know and I'll fix em right up.

3ohE


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Pillow Talking**

**Benson Apartment**

**04:13AM **

Freddie's eyes had long since adjusted to the darkness, laying on his side Freddie stared into nothingness. It was another night in his mother's bed and another sleepless night, in a few hours he would have to get ready for school; even though he was exhausted and could probably skip school he would soldier through it than be home with her. He could no longer easily bring himself to call her "mom", during the last few days his relationship with his mother had deteriorated exceedingly; it was as if they were living in separate worlds and if Marissa noticed Freddie didn't see it. Marissa had let him know that he was not to spend more time than was necessary with Carly, Freddie wasn't sure if she knew about his relationship with Carly but was sure she knew something along those lines. He assumed it was something to do with answering the door to Carly, but as for what set her off; he couldn't guess. He could have asked Carly what happened but he didn't want to give her any suspicions on what was going on. Freddie let out a soft chuckle as he recalled the statutory rape sex they had a few days ago; it was sick but it was fantastic. 'Fantastic' he thought letting out another chuckle, he wanted to scream and shout but he knew once he started he would never stop. As he was instructed he kept time spent with Carly to a minimum the last couple of days, it had proved harder than he had expected, but he did it even when she cornered him. He could tell she was catching on to the signs of his withdrawal with the long stares she would be giving him during classes, it wasn't easy to stay away from her but it was better this way; best his misery be his alone.

Marissa roused slightly from behind him but did not wake and for that he was glad, though it made no difference it was just delaying the inevitable, she would want him to put his tongue to good use before he left for school. Freddie turned away from his side to face his mother's slumbering face; it was at moments like this that none of what she had done to him mattered. She was using him as a sexual and emotional outlet and he could live with that as long as it kept her in his life. He never lied to himself; he was weak but that was just how he was raised, his mother was his life; always the one to take care of him, and he would live with this if it meant keeping her alright. Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear brought a sad smile to his face and tears to his eyes, as he watching her eyes slowly falter open.

"I love you m-...om" he croaked out as they continued to stare into each others eyes

**Puckett Residence**

Rolling over to the other side of the bed Pam was slightly shocked to find a warm body still present in her bed, bringing her face up to the source of the heat an involuntary smile crept up to her lips. Most men would have been gone by the time she was awake, yet he was still in her bed; though she liked the feeling spreading through her, this would not do lest she get attached again. Her smile faded into a light frown.

"Hey beautiful, good to see your up, I was starting to think I'll have to leave without saying goodbye"

"You should have" she said extracting her arm from his chest

"And what sort of gentleman would I be if I did that"

"Last night was great, and if you left you would have been another perfect stranger"

"Is that what you expected or wanted?" he said bringing their lips together

"I'm undecided as of yet" she said as she deepened the kiss

"Well you'll have to tell me your decision later, I'll have to leave pretty soon or I'll be late for work"

"Oh? Bit of a tease aren't you"

"I'm going to make some coffee before I go, you want one?" he said with a light chuckle

"Sure"

Pam watched at the latest man she had conquered, and was indecisive as to tell him that this is a one time thing or to see how this all played out not really minding a repeat of last nights encounter. He didn't bother putting on his shirt over his torso leaving his rock hard abs in full view; Pam licked her lips deciding to let this play out without getting caught up in the moment.

XX

Sam sighed as she dumped her empty bowl into the sink, which was already full with dirty dishes, after another night of crying herself to sleep she wasn't feeling very chipper this morning. Looking down at the filthy cluster of dishes Sam let out another sigh, she would have to clean up the house when she got back from school as chances of Pam cleaning up the place were low.

"Quite a mess you have there" an unfamiliar voice commented

Sam felt a blush come over her as she stared at the unknown attractive male who had entered the room; she tried to extract her eyes from him but couldn't bring herself to stop as she gawked at his muscular body.

"I'm guessing you're the latest victim" she said finally tearing her eyes from him

"I guess so…and you must be Sam" he said with uncertain humor laced in his voice

"MmmMh" Sam mumbled something under her breath

"Your mum was very adamant about keeping it down last night, said you've been having a bad couple of days"

"And wasn't that nice of her" Sam responded sarcastically

"I'm Mike by the way" He said pouring some coffee into a pair of mugs

"It doesn't matter"

Sam picked up her back pack off the floor before heading to the door leaving behind a chuckling Mike, He did seem like a nice enough guy but Sam knew there was no point in getting to know him as he would probably be replaced by another face by tonight just like the other one she had over a few nights ago. Sam felt exhausted as she waited for the school bus, knowing no amount of mental killings would be able to cheer her up today.

**Ridgeway high school**

Freddie had to admit that being one of the top students in the school had its perks; one being that most teachers (with the exception of Mr. Howard and Ms. Briggs) didn't question your honesty. He had bags under his eyes which were also bloodshot bringing up the need to have sun glasses on at all times, not wanting any unneeded attention he was pinning the need for the sun glasses on laser eye surgery he had the day before and that doctor's orders were to keep them on at all times. A select few knew he was bullshitting but didn't raise a word against him; after all they were his sort of best friend and girlfriend. Making his way to his locker Freddie was now more than ever glad to have the sun glasses as it was easier to avoid the stares that were directed at him, most of which were girls who had never seemed to be into him but now giving him flirtatious stares; the other stares he was getting weren't as inviting as the girls. His relationship with Carly had caused some of the males in the school to be envious of him, one of the seniors had even confidently come up to Carly and asked her out but she shot him down, leaving the jock with a bruised ego and growing loathing for Freddie. Freddie knew it wouldn't last though; Carly would come up to him sooner or later and demand an explanation for his recent behavior, which he wouldn't give causing them to break up and with that she would find another more deserving of her love. Freddie felt dirty and had no right to be with her, he would only be complicating things if he stayed with her.

Freddie shoved his bag into his locker before extracting a couple of books for his next lesson, slamming his locker shut he saw Carly coming towards him from down the hall. Sensing the coming confrontation Freddie tried to bolt to his next class before she caught up with him, spinning on his heel Freddie made to dash in the opposite direction from Carly when he crashed against a meaty solid, causing him to fall back and drop his books in the process. Freddie slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Liam Hastings the same senior who had asked Carly out, biting back an insult Freddie muttered an apology as he stood up on one knee and started collecting his books.

"Watch where going Benson" the older boy hissed

"Will do" Freddie said as he adjusted his shades before getting of the floor making to continue on his previous course

As Freddie was about to walk around Him, Liam brought his hand up to Freddie's chest and shoving him back to face him. Looking through the tinted lens Freddie could see Liam's attention wasn't fully on him but on his fast approaching girlfriend, 'Great' thought Freddie, as the jock was intending to humiliate him in front of Carly in hopes of gaining her affections or at least steer them away from him. Liam was known for not being too bright and more or less depended on his muscles and good looks in life, he was on the football team and Freddie knew he wouldn't be able to take him in a straight up fight.

"Was I done talking to you Benson?" Liam said looking down at Freddie

Freddie's lips cracked into a smile

"Something funny Benson?" Liam hissed through gritted teeth as people began to notice their encounter

"No don't worry about it, just an inside joke, so you wanted to talk" Freddie replied losing his patience

"You think you're so cool don't you" said giving his shoulder a shove with his index finger

"Extremely" Freddie said sarcasm dripping out of every pore

With that Liam reached up grabbing the shades off his face and throwing them across the floor, Freddie winced as the light hit his eyes causing him to block the light from his eyes with his hand and look to the floor before looking back up at his new found enemy. Liam's smug face greeted Freddie as his eyes adjusted to the light.

"Are you done?" Freddie said in a cold voice causing the jocks smirk to falter

"How about an apology" the jock demanded

"I'm sorry" Freddie said calmly

"Say it like you mean it" He taunted

"Screw you" Freddie hissed

"Wrong answer" the jock said cocking his fist

Freddie watched as Liam prepared to strike a blow at him, he didn't flinch or make an attempt to block the incoming fist, but stood in waiting for it. Truth be told he didn't care for it, if anything he wanted to get hit; even hoped blood would be drawn. Freddie let his eyes falter closed as he waited for the inevitable pain to come.

…

Crunch

Thud

Freddie waited but nothing came into contact with his face and with slight disappointment he let his eyes open to find the jock that was previously in front of him on the floor in a fetal position his hands on his crouch, with a confused look Freddie looked at a set of legs next to the jock and followed them up to meet a familiar face. Unable to stop the smile that crept up to his face Freddie smiled at the blonde girl wearing short shorts and some chucks in front of him.

"My knight in shining armor" Freddie said with a hint of humor

"Fredward" Sam greeted calmly stepping over the jock and brushing past Freddie, walking away from the gathered crowd

With a sigh Freddie scanned the crowd's feet for his shades but didn't find any sign of them until someone in the crowd waved at him; Malika had his glasses. Quickly making his way over to her he motioned for her to follow him to their next class, as she handed him his glasses Freddie saw the scrawl that formed on her face.

"Thanks for getting my glasses off the floor" Freddie said as they walked

"Are you ok" she asked her tone mixed with worry

"All systems are at a hundred percent"

"You don't look ok"

"Just a bit of insomnia these couple of days, nothing to worry about"

"Oh good, so are we still on for the groovy smoothie?" she said with enthusiasm

"Sure" Freddie said finding it hard to let her down

Freddie stopped a few feet away from the class but told Malika to go on, looking back at the lockers where the jock was collecting himself, he locked eyes with Carly who had been watching him since his confrontation with Liam, he noted the deep scrawl she wore as she walked out of his view up the stairs to the second floor. Freddie entered the class to find the teacher had already went on ahead and started without him, he briefly locked eyes with Sam who had seated herself at the back of the class.

Freddie let his mind wonder back to Sam and it felt as though he hadn't seen her in days, He had eaten lunch with her and Carly the day before but she had been distant and subdued. He had to admit he was the same; masking his distance behind a smile as Carly droned on about something he couldn't remember. He was grateful for her saving his ass back there and he was starting to miss their little arguments but at the moment with the way things were it couldn't be helped. A vibration in his pants brought Freddie out of his inner musings, pulling his phone out he glanced at the message sent to him by Carly.

'WE NEED TO TALK!'

'I'll meet you at your Apartment later' he texted back

'Don't blow me off Freddie' she had figured out he was avoiding her

'I won't'

He felt his heart sink as the words he just texted her hit him, he is going to have to face her and he knew that it would end of both their relationship and friendship. Freddie chuckled at that, Carly's reasoning had been right all along and now because he hadn't been able to deny her she would hate him, if he had just told her that they should remain friends none of this would have happened. Freddie sighed sinking in deeper into his chair with a sad smile playing his lips.

XXX

After a long tedious lesson the period shift sounded and students started filling out of the class, Freddie waited until all the students had filled out leaving him, Sam and the teacher who was too busy shoving papers into his bag to notice them.

"Hey" Freddie greeted Sam as she walked by him and he followed

"No thanks needed Fredwierd, its' what I do" Sam said in a uninterested voice

"Yeah thanks, but it's not that" Freddie said causing her to stop her progress and turn to face him with a sigh

"Ok what's up" she said not meeting his eyes

"Uhm nothing really I just wanted to check on you"

"I'm awesome, are we done?" Sam her voice shaking slightly

"Sa-…m" Freddie spoke but she had already walked away

Freddie was about to follow after her when he caught Malika's form at her locker, his meeting with Carly took priority over getting to know Malika and he had to cancel their hanging out at the groovy smoothie. Freddie gave a sigh as he took one last look at Sam before making his way over to Malika.

"Hey" she said turning away from her locker

"Hey so about the groovy smoothie-"

"Yeah" she cut him off before he could get it all out

"Well something's come up and-"

"You can't make it" she said finishing his sentence with a sigh

"Yeah…how about we try again some time next week?" Freddie said with an apologetic smile

"Sure" she said with a gloomy smile shutting her locker and making her way towards her next lesson.

**Shay apartment**

Carly scrutinized Freddie as he walked into her room, she was glad he kept his promise to talk to her. Freddie had been avoiding her for the last couple of days and she needed to know why before she jumped to conclusions, which she was finding fairly hard with all the free time she had to concoct ideas to why he has been withdrawn from her. Freddie wasn't the only one who had been withdrawn; Sam was also keeping to herself more than usual, with both of them keeping away from her she suspected they were fucking but she knew Sam would never do that, so she tried not to think about it. She was sitting at the side of the bed facing the door watching Freddie make his way over to her; he dropped a small kiss on her cheek before sitting himself down next to her. He seemed more nervous than usual and his kiss on the cheek bothered her, now that they were in private she had expected him to give her more than just a kiss on the cheek.

"So you wanted to talk..." Freddie said feigning ignorance of the situation

"What's going on Freddie" she asked staring down at her toes

"What do you mean?"

"You know what…you've been avoiding me"

"I've been a bit busy, that's all" he said lowly

"With what?"She asked incredulously

"It doesn't matter, I'm here now aren't I" he said looking her in the eye

"Yes it does!... are you seeing somebody else" Carly said unable to hold back her insecurity

"Why would I do that when I'm with you?"

"I don't know Freddie, why do guys do what they do?" Carly said with impatience as he hadn't answered her question

"I'm not seeing someone else"

"Then why have you been avoiding me?"

Freddie could feel a sense of dread come over him, was this it? They hadn't been together more than a month and he was already going to fuck it up. Looking into Carly's eyes Freddie's resolution to end their relationship wavered and he knew he couldn't go through with it, forcing a smile Freddie took Carly's hand into his.

"I'm sorry I just got freaked out by everything and thought we were moving a bit fast"

"Why didn't you talk to me about it?"

"I'm here now aren't I" he said giving her hand a squeeze and looking her in the eye

Carly knew Freddie was hiding something from her, but she couldn't find it in her to care as their eyes met, slowly she leaned in and he mirrored her movement until their lips met. The kiss started out gentle grew more passionate as Carly leaned in laying Freddie on the bed and straddling him, with their tongues fighting for supremacy Carly let out a moan into his mouth as he gave her ass a firm squeeze. She temporarily broke their kiss and pulled her t-shirt over head before resuming the battle of the tongues, left in her bra Carly arched forward as Freddie ran his finger over her erect nipple under the laced material. Freddie brought his hands to her back and his fingers made quick work of her bra, with her bra undone Freddie broke the kiss and flipped Carly onto her back and buried his face in her neck. Their rate off progress frustrated Carly and she pushed Freddie back to an upright position before slipping his t-shirt off him, with his shirt off she started to work on his pants but Freddie got off her and slipped out his jeans along with Carly's as well.

With both of them in their knickers Freddie was surprised when Carly got up and went down on all fours, giving him a mischievous smile Carly flicked her hair away from her face and waited fro him to get on board with her plan. Unable to suppress a grin Freddie joined her on the bed walking up behind her on his knees, he brought his arm around to her chest bring her up on her knees as well, Giving out a groan at the contact of her flesh on his Freddie slid one hand into her panties causing Carly to give out a slight whimper, taking her sounds of pleasure as encouragement Freddie slid one finger into her, while keeping her back tightly on his front with his other arm as it pinched her nipple. Freddie's ministrations had Carly buckling against his grip and his name protruding from her lips, he let go of her and let her drop back on all fours before hooking his fingers into her panty and dragging it down to her thighs. With full view of her wet pussy Freddie pulled his dick out his boxers and slid it into her with a groan, feeling her tight walls against his hard dick Freddie started to pump in an out of her. The waves of pleasure started to overwhelm Carly causing her arms to buckle bringing her chest down ass up, she didn't bother to get up as the burying her face into the bed was muffling her cries and moans. Not used to her tight pussy Freddie came with a deep groan, Carly's moans faded as she felt the waves of pleasure come to a stop.

Carly managed to bring her face of the bed enough to stare at Freddie who was panting profusely, her staring didn't go unnoticed by Freddie who then smiled and winked at her. Carly was about to give out a verbal protest at not getting off when Freddie grabbed her and flipped her on her back, as soon as she was on her back she felt her legs pulled apart. Carly saw him disappear in between her legs but before she could get a glimpse of what he was up to she let out a muffled moan as she bit down on her lip and dug her nails into the bed, Freddie licked and sucked on her pussy in ways she couldn't understand. His hand on her breasts squeezing her nipples with an intensity that brought on pain and pleasure with the latter overriding the former, unable to hold back Carly came with one final yelp in pleasure and feeling herself again on the edge of consciousness. The two were too focused on their sexual pleasures they didn't hear Sam calling out Carly's name as she came up the stairs towards Carly's room, too focused on one another the pair didn't notice Sam barge into the room as she always does.

"WHAT THE FUCK" Sam shrieked breaking the pair from their high

Neither of the two was able to reply as Sam bolted from the room leaving behind a bewildered Freddie and disorientated Carly, Freddie removed his tongue out of Carly with trail of her juices stretching out between him and her pussy, as he pulled out his tongue Carly gave out on final moan arching upwards before slumping back on the bed with a tired sigh. Freddie got off the bed and walked over to the door and locking it just in case Spencer was home and decided to check what all the commotion was about.

"What was that?" Carly asked with a hit of humor as she watched Freddie make his way back to her

"Sam" he replied his voice slightly grim

"Oh don't sound so grim, I'll call her later and it will be like it never happened"

"I'm sure it will-" sigh "you want to continue?" Freddie asked with a slight smile

"No….lets just cuddle for a while"

"Ok"

Carly slipped on her t-shirt before entering her bed and into Freddie's awaiting arms, she felt his grip tighten around her bringing a smile to her face. Feeling content with Freddie's arms around her Carly couldn't help the goofy smile that formed on her face and the warmth that was spreading through her as she slowly started to lose the fight against consciousness.

"You were amazing" she breathed out

"So were you" he said planting a small kiss on her neck

"The things you did with your tongue…it was like you knew what you were doing" *Pause* "If you've had sex before its ok Freddie you can tell me I wont be mad…even if its Sam" she said though the last part was barely audible but Freddie heard it.

Freddie involuntarily tensed not sure how to go about answering Carly's question, he could tell her he has had sex before but he knew she would want to know who even if it wasn't Sam, he hadn't thought being good in bed would ever be a bad thing yet here he was, Freddie let out a light chuckle as he thought of all the crap that had been happening to him.

"Freddie?" Carly called confused by his chuckle

"You were my first Carly, just like I've always wanted and if I'm good in bed then I guess it's just natural talent" he said giving her another kiss at the back of her neck

"-And as for me and Sam it was just one kiss you don't have to worry about it" He said trying to reassure her but he knew she'd still have her doubts

"Ok" she said in a small voice and trying to sink deeper into his arms

"So I see Liam didn't take your rejection too well" Freddie said casually

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that, he's an oversized asshole to take out his frustrations on you"

"Don't be its not like you told him to try take a crack at me"

"I know but still it's my fault he came after you, maybe I should have let him down easy"

"No its fine, besides I can take care of myself, I had him just where I wanted him if Sam hadn't shown up, I'd have taken out the trash" that sent them both into a fit of laughs and giggles.

"I'm sure you did, my little bad boy" Carly said in a low voice dosing off

Freddie assumed they were done talking as he felt her breathing slow even out. Closing his eyes and breathing in her scent, he silently wished that they could stay like this forever, but that was only wishful thinking, he'd have to leave in a few hours and return to the reality that was his life.

**Seattle Medical center**

**Cafeteria**

"So..."

"MmmMh."

"How's the big love issue coming along?"

"The what?"

"The...*sigh* the problem with Freddie, we haven't talked about it since..."

"There's no problem, I was just…really stressed out don't worry about it"

"You know you can talk to me Mari, you don't have to keep it all inside"

"It was nothing really, there's nothing to tell"

"It didn't sound like nothing"

"Can we please just drop it, everything's ok now ok?"

"Fine, just know I'm here for you when you need me"

"Ok"

With that the pair fell into a silence, Ellen contemplating if and how she should push for more information on Marissa's breakdown and Marissa thinking of ways to put her friends worry to rest.

"So I'm having a barbecue with the kids on tomorrow, you should come and bring Freddie, I haven't seen him in a while" Ellen said in a natural voice

"Sure that should be fun, and it will be good to get Freddie away from Carly and Sam for once, he spends too much time with those girls"

"Great, Sarah will be more willing to come if Freddie's coming she loves iCarly"

"Yeah, Great" Marissa said trying not to show the scrawl that formed on her face

"Well I have to go check on Mrs. Twain, I'll see you later"

Marissa was glad that Ellen had invited her and Freddie over for the weekend; she could kill two birds with one stone, with her and Freddie at Ellen's she could show Ellen that everything was alright between her and Freddie. The other reason she had agreed to go was to keep Freddie away from Carly, she wasn't sure what was going between them but she wouldn't take any chances of losing Freddie to that tramp, so she would keep Freddie away from Carly as much as she could.

**Puckett Residence**

Walking into her house Sam released an involuntary gasp as she took in the appearance of the place, the living room was organized and no junk was littering the floor as she had left it in the morning. A sense of curiosity took over as she heard faint sound of scrapping coming from the kitchen, unconsciously she moved into the kitchen following the sound. Sam had a puzzled look on her face as the man from earlier this morning stood in front of her wrestling with a skillet she herself always found hard to get clean.

"What's going on?" Sam asked from the kitchen entrance

Breaking out of his battle with the skillet Mike turned to stare at a puzzled Sam "Oh hey, Uhm well I guess this looks a bit strange huh" he said giving her a slightly embarrassed look

"A bit, where's my mom?"

"I think she's at work"

"You think?" Sam said raising an eyebrow

"Well I haven't seen her since leaving this morning, when I knocked on the door and no one answered and I assumed she was out or at work"

"So how did you get in?"

"I sort of let my self in"

"You mean you broke in?"

"No I mean I let my self in, breaking in would mean I had bad intensions when I came in" he said with a shrug

"So what are you doing here?"

"You looked like you were ready to off yourself this morning looking at these dishes, so I thought I'd help with the clean up"

"Why"

"I was bored?"

"Seriously?"

Shrug

"Whatever" Sam said losing interest in the situation

"Hold on, you don't expect me to do these dishes all by myself do you? I'm having enough trouble with this pan as is"

"Hey, you wanted to help" Sam said with a smirk

"Help, not do the whole lot by myself"

"Fine, you wash I'll dry" Sam said tossing her beg into the living room and rolling up her sleeves

Sam settled herself next to Mike and began drying some of the washed dishes, with a smile she silently shook her head at the man beside hers peculiar behavior. Breaking into someone's house to clean it up was kind of nutty but Sam was glad he was there; she needed a distraction to keep her from thinking or reliving what she had seen her best friends do some hour ago.

"So tell me Dave what do; you do for a living"

"Mike"

"What?"

"My name…its' Mike"

"Like I said it doesn't matter"

"Oook? … I own a car repair shop; Mike's auto repair shop"

"Never heard of it, shouldn't you be fixing some nubs car instead of breaking into peoples homes?"

"Well I pay people to do that for me now, so where do you go to school?"

"What? My mom didn't tell you that while you were fucking her"

"Are you always this hostile" he asked rolling his eyes finally done with the dishes on his side

"So I'm told" she said smiling at his concealment of his growing frustration

"Your mother and I didn't talk much last night, so no she didn't tell me" he said with a smirk, noticing Sam's grimace

"Ridgeway" She relented

"And how are things there?" he said leaning against the kitchen counter

"Listen-"

"What the hell is this?"Pam asked cutting Sam off

An awkward silence filled the room as Pam's eyes darted between her daughter and Mike; the silence wore down on Mike prompting him to release a cough before speaking.

"Well I guess I should explain" he said nervously

….

….

….

"I got off work early and thought I'd ask you out for dinner but you were out, so I thought I'd help Sammy here clean up until you got back, since you're here now, would you go out to dinner with me?"

"Sure" Pam said with righting herself from an approaching foul mood

"Great"

Sam drew her attention away from the two and went back to drying the dishes, Pam went upstairs to change and Mike muttered something to her before following Pam out of the kitchen. Though she had enjoyed riling up the older man she wouldn't count on seeing him again, her mother always had ways of making men disappear every time things seemed to become serious and she didn't expect this to be any different.

XX

Pam and Mike had left hours ago and Sam knew better than to wait up for her mother, she was about to get into bed when her phone rang, checking the caller ID she found it to be Carly. The urge to smash the phone into a thousand pieces came over her but she was quick to get control over herself. Though she had no right to feel the way she was, she was finding it extremely hard to control her temper around Carly and Freddie, when Freddie had tried to talk to her today she had found it pretty hard not to scream at him. Her solution thus far was to avoid them but she couldn't do that long as the majority of her days revolved or had something to do with Carly, Freddie on the other hand seemed to be doing his share to avoidance so she hadn't had trouble with him, up until today that is.

"Sup" Sam said keeping her voice neutral

"Hey Sam its Carly"

"I know"

"Oh, about today... when you walke-"

"Its okay don't worry about it, I just wasn't expecting to see you guys like that"

"I'm sorry, I should have warned you-"

"You think?" she said with a dry laugh

"I know I Know, but in my defense I didn't plan it, it just happened….So are we ok?"

"Yeah sure go fuck like bunnies for all I care"

"I plan on it"

"So how was it" Sam said unable to deny her curiosity

"How was what "Carly said feigning ignorance

"The sex! There I said it happy now"

"I'm not sure what you mean and we make love not just sex"

"Sugar coat it if you want but when I walked in on the two of you it sure looked like more lust than love"

"The word you're looking for is passion"

"Okay fine Passion it is, so are you gonna tell me or what?"

"I don't know what to tell you *sigh* but that it was fantastic, he's incredible Sam" she said unable to hold back the giggles

"Better watch out though, I saw some of the girls checking him out when you weren't around" Sam said unable to stop herself from poisoning the waters.

"I know right" Carly said with a bit of excitement at finally having someone to express her frustrations to.

"Better keep a tight leash on Fredward" Sam said with a chuckle

"No Freddie's not like that, we talked about it and he doesn't want to fuck around with anyone but me" she said hesitantly

"I don't know if you noticed the minor changes but Freddie's changed and it's not like he's incapable of lying"

"Why are you being o negative Sam, you know how I get" Carly asked unable to understand why Sam was feeding her insecurity

"Sorry, just not sure if it's still the same Fredwierd were used to"

"I know but its still Freddie right?"

"I'm not sure the Freddie we know would have fucked you one day into your relationship" Sam said trying to keep as much malice as she could out of her voice.

"That was more me than him, and even if it was, Freddie would never hurt me" Carly said uncertainly

"If you say so Carls, I'll talk to you tomorrow"

"Ok goodnight"

"Goodnight" Sam said cutting off the call

Sam exhaled a sigh feeling slight guilt for feeding Carly's insecurities, but what she had said wasn't entirely untrue, Freddie had been talking too openly with Malika. Sam killed the lights in her room and went to bed thinking she had nothing to feel guilty about, any good relationship was built on trust and if Carly and Freddie's didn't survive then, it was never meant to be.

T.B.C

**A.N:** Reviews are always welcome, and for any mistakes let me know and I'll fix em right up.

3ohE


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Change**

**Shay apartment**

"Do you really have to go?" Carly whined as she watched Freddie get dressed

"Yes, I've already stayed too long, mom will come looking for me if I stay any longer" Freddie said pulling his top on

"So who's this Ellen person, you've never mentioned her up until now?"

"She's my mom's best friend; they work together at the clinic"

"K, so call me when you get back?" Carly said with a sigh sitting up from the bed and slipping on her tank top

Freddie smiled at the look she was giving him, her pout made her look extremely adorable and her small nipples poking at her tank top made her look incredibly sexy and he could feel himself getting aroused again. Zipping up his pants Freddie knew he had to leave before he lost himself to her again.

"Sure" Freddie said dropping a kiss on her cheek before making his exit

Freddie groaned as he reached into his pants and gave his balls a stretch, with all the sex he'd been having between his mother and Carly; production was running low down stairs. He left the shay apartment and entered his to find his mother packing some wine bottles for the barbeque, seeing him enter she gave him a light scowl. He had left her an hour ago claiming he had to fix some glitches on the iCarly site and though that was part of the plan, he had lost sight of his goal when Carly mentioned she wasn't wearing any panties under her skirt.

"Hey you all ready to go?" Marissa asked

"Yeah let's get this over with"

"Hey don't give me that attitude, remember to act normal; Ellen's been worried about me and I want to show her everything is alright"

Freddie gave a silent nod before making his way to his room, once inside he grabbed his cologne and gave himself a quick spray to wipe out the stench of Carly and sex that he was sure still clung to his body. He heard his mother shout for him to get a move on and he did just that, his mother was at the door and motioning for him to exit. Grabbing some of her things Freddie exited the apartment and they made their way down to the car.

**Stewart Residence**

Ellen gave a sigh as she watched her animated daughter fix up her looks using a spoon as a mirror, though happy she was excited about the barbeque she wished that some of her excitement was from getting to spend time with her family.

"Would you stop gawking at yourself and help me prepare for our guests"

"Ok" Sarah said not really paying attention

"A load of help you are, just go help your brother set up outside" Ellen said losing hope

With a huff Sarah got off the kitchen counter and made her way to the back yard, squinting as the sun light hit her eyes she brushed a few strands of hair that had made its way to her face away. Sarah's original hair color was blonde but ever since her parent's divorce two years ago she couldn't stand it anymore, it reminded her of her father and with her father's memory came his infidelities and so she had settled for dyeing it purple. Her mother had freaked at first but she let it go after a few weeks, Sarah wasn't sure how her mother knew her reasons for changing her color but she had somehow figured it out and let her be. Sarah sat herself down at the picnic table which had already been set up by her older brother who she usually referred to as "The Girl Scout" because he could never seemed to do wrong and always did what their mother told him to do, always looking to please. Eric briefly turned away from setting up the grill and gave her an inquisitive look; he looked like he wanted to say something but decided against it when their eyes met. That had been happening a lot lately, before he would have been nagging her to help out and get off her ass but not anymore; had he given up on her? She didn't know but she didn't like it. He was her brother and he wasn't allowed to give up on her, with a sigh Sarah got off the table and started to set out plates and utensils around the table.

**XXX**

Pulling into the Stewart driveway Freddie took a calming breath, Marissa had let him drive when they were a few blocks away from Ellen's house but that wasn't why he was nervous. He had a sinking feeling that coming to the barbeque wasn't a good idea, putting the car in park Freddie leaned back and let out and audible breath and turned to face Marissa.

"Remember Freddie were a happy family, not a happy couple" she said with a smile before leaning over and giving him a small peck on the mouth

"Sure" Freddie mumbled as he exited the car

Freddie went to the trunk and grabbed the refreshments they had brought with them before heading up to the porch where his mother had already been greeted by Ellen and were exchanging pleasantries. Freddie worked a fake smile onto his face as he came up to Ellen, who was staring at him with a grin as he came up to her.

"Hi Mrs. Stewart"

"Hello Freddie it's been a while, you look so much older since last I saw you… and handsome too" she finished with a wink

"Uhm thanks" Freddie said with a blush

Freddie's smile turned real as they greeted and she teased him on how grown up and handsome he was; his sinking feeling completely evaporated with her motherly teases and he realized just how much he missed having a mother. She led them into the kitchen where he unloaded the refreshments.

"Oh Freddie while your mom and I make some salads you should go help Eric at the grill"

"Sure Mrs. Stewart" Freddie said as he exited to the backyard

Freddie felt a sense of awkwardness as he entered the backyard and the two siblings turning to look at him, masking his nervousness under a smile which was returned by Sarah Freddie made his way over to the picnic table.

"Hey Freddie, it's been a while"

"Yeah, I can see you've changed quite a bit since I last saw you" he said eyeing the hair

"Oh, the hair?"

"Yeah, it's nice" he said sitting down next to her

"Thanks" she said blushing slightly "So is it true?"

"What is?"

"That you and Carly are together"

"Uhm yeah…where did you here that?"

"A friend of my told me when I mentioned that you'd be coming over today, and she said she heard it from someone at your school Uhm…Wendy I think that's her name"

Freddie cursed internally "Well can we not mention this when my moms around you know how she gets"

"Sure, I can be our little secrets" she said with a wink

"Thanks, I should go help Eric at the grill" Freddie said uncomfortably

"Hurry back"

Making his way to the Eric Freddie felt the sinking feeling return, 'happy family' Freddie thought as he forced a friendly smile on his face, but still felt uncomfortable as Eric didn't cast a look his way since he started in his direction.

"Hey Eric" Freddie greeted the older boy

"Hey Freddie, it's been a while how have you been" the raven haired boy replied politely dull as he flipped the contents of the grill

"I've been good…and you? Thought you'd be in college by now" Freddie returned

"I've been good as well and I would be in college but decided to take the year off…so what about you Freddie what grade you in"

"I'm in the tenth grade, so why are you taking a gap year if you don't mind me asking?"

"*Sigh* just taking some downtime you know" He said with a far off look

**X**

"So Freddie looks good, becoming quite the man isn't he" Ellen commented as Freddie disappeared into the backyard

"Yeah…my little man" Marissa said with a laugh

"I guess you were right I was overreacting, you and Freddie seem fine"

"And we are, how things with Sarah and Eric"

"Their… fine I guess, they don't fight as much as they used too but I'm worried about Eric"

"Why, what's wrong?"

"I'm not sure if there's anything wrong but I feel like he's using helping out at home as an excuse to stay home and not go to college"

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"Yeah but he denies it and changes the subject"

"Maybe you should just let him go when he's ready; you shouldn't force him if he doesn't want to go yet" Marissa said thinking she would never want Freddie to leave her

"Maybe" Ellen said quietly

"Meats ready" Eric said sticking his head into the kitchen for a moment

Ellen and Marissa deposited their mobiles and pagers atop of the microwave before making their way out back where their children had made themselves comfortable on the picnic table which was set up perfectly under the shade of their neighbors' tree. They had decided to leave their mobile devices inside so they could spend time without any interruptions. Once everyone had seated themselves down the group began chatting and relatively having a good time with a few harmless incidents with Marissa giving Sarah a slight glare as she was getting overly friendly with Freddie.

**XXX**

Marissa and Freddie bid the Stewart family a good bye after a perfect uneventful afternoon, though she had enjoyed her friends company Marissa was glad to be going home. She had been having a hard time keeping her smile in check every time she watched as Ellen's daughter drape her hand over Freddie with overly friendly tones, but now that they were heading home she was eager to have Freddie all to herself. Amazing sex after a good afternoon with family friends always surmised to a perfect day back when it was her and Freddie's father, **'**just like it used to be**'** Marissa thought. Marissa tossed the car keys over to Freddie motioning for him to drive and letting herself forget all her worries in anticipation of what they would get up to when they got back to the apartment.

**XX**

Freddie felt exhausted as he flopped down onto his bed, the barbeque had been nice and went on without any incidents with the exception of a few glares his mother sent his way when Sarah was acting a bit too friendly. Marissa seemed pleased with their overprotective mother son act during the day but Freddie had to admit it wasn't much of an act from him; he actually enjoyed having his old mother back even if it was an act. Letting out a low breath Freddie closed his eyes hoping to get some sleep and maybe hold on to the feeling of having his mother back for as long as he can. Freddie's slip from consciousness was cut short as he felt Marissa's hands clasp around his ankles and slowly slide up to his thighs and back down again. Groaning from being roused from his decent out of consciousness Freddie opened one eye to see Marissa crawl on top of him, straddling him she started to unbutton his pants eagerly. Feeling groggy Freddie brought his hands to his mothers and stopping her progress earning him a confused look from his mother.

"N…not now mom I'm tired" He said in a shaky voice this being the first time he tried to deny her

"Don't worry Freddie I'll do all the work" she said bringing herself down and initiating a kiss, which he broke

"Please" he begged not meeting her eyes, feeling dread creep over him

Marissa ignored Freddie and kissed him again this time with more passion deciding he just needed a little motivation, freeing her hands from his Marissa took Freddie's hands and pinned the over his head. She didn't get anymore resistance from Freddie as she continued to explore his mouth, removing her hands from his she returned to unbuttoning his pants; which she had little trouble completing and pulling out his dick. Her lips still firmly against his Marissa opened her closed eyes to find Freddie vacant eyes staring up at her as if in a trance causing shivers to run up and down her spine, shutting her eyes unable to bear Freddie's stoic look Marissa hiked-up her skirt and pushed aside her panty before sliding in Freddie's erect member. Taking Freddie's dick fully into her Marissa whimpered into his ear and slowly started rocking back and forth, her cries of pleasure increasing as she rhythmically rocked on top of Freddie.

"Please stop" Freddie croaked out but was unheard as Marissa continued to moan into his ear

Arching upwards as she came Marissa opened her eyes to meet Freddie's tear soaked face, Marissa's momentary high faded when she looked at Freddie. Marissa could feel her heart break as she watched her son mumble something incoherently under his breath keeping his eyes firmly shut. Marissa brought her hands to his face and tried to wipe his tears as best she could. Marissa lay on top of Freddie still joined by their privates, hugging Freddie who had seemed to calm down after few minutes leaving an eerie silence throughout the apartment. Marissa lost herself into her thoughts with the feeling of Freddie's heartbeat against her chest, until the shattering of what sounded like a small mobile device broke her out of her thoughts. Turning to face the source of the sound Marissa's heart stopped as she looked into the eyes of her best friend's sickened face, unable to move both women stared at each other in disbelief. Extracting herself from Freddie Marissa wanted to say something to her friend but no words made it to her mouth. Marissa fixed her skirt as best she could and took a step in her friends' direction but Ellen took one back. Marissa watched Ellen as her eyes seemed to be glued on her and slowly followed something down to the floor, taking a look down at her feet Marissa felt a cold shiver run through her and no feeling followed. A small pool of semen was slowly pooling between Marissa's legs and that seemed to be all Ellen could take as the she leaned against the wall and emptying her stomach contents on the floor before dropping to the floor unconscious.

Marissa let out a gasp as her friend dropped to the floor unconscious, she ran over to Ellen and flipped her on her back before examining her to find there was no major trauma to the head and that she had only fainted. Marissa wasn't sure what to do as she stared down at Ellen, looking back at Freddie in his room she found him seated on his bed watching her with a calm expression and still vacant eyes. Her nostrils were overcome by the smell of bile causing Marissa to hold back her stomach contents but not for long as she scampered over to the sink where she let it all out. Everything had been going well today and now she stood to lose the only people that cared for her, a sense of injustice fell upon Marissa causing her to choke out a sob as she stared down at her sick. She was finally truly the happiest she had been since the death of Freddie's father and yet here she was again about to lose whom she loved most in her life. Unable to dwell on self pity Marissa brought her sleeve to her eyes and wiped what tears had escaped her eyes. Bringing herself upright Marissa's eyes rested on her set of perfect stainless steel knives, a thought was about to bloom in her head but some ruffling sounds from the living room broke her out of her trance on the knives. Giving the knife set one last glance Marissa headed into the living room to find Freddie laying Ellen on their couch, once Ellen was comfortably placed on their couch Freddie turned to meet his mothers' gaze with his vacant stare.

"What now" Freddie asked lacking emotion

"I don't know" Marissa answered truthfully

"I'll go clean up the messes" Freddie said walking out of Marissa's field of vision

**X**

Looking down on what used to be a meal Freddie mopped up the mess with indifference, he wasn't truly there but only going through the motions without any feeling. He was disconnected and that's what usually helped him deal with this part of his life; when his mother wanted a good romp in the sack. His problem was now that he couldn't feel or care for the current situation, he couldn't switch back to his normal self to deal with the reality of his present situation. Depositing some of the sloppy mess into a bucket Freddie paused trying to gather his thoughts but non came so he went back to mop up the rest of the vomit before moving back into his room to take care of the pool of semen. After cleaning up both messes Freddie deposited it into the toilet before heading out to the hall and picking up the remnants of his mothers' pager, Marissa must have forgotten it at Ellen's and she had brought it back. Freddie guessed with a cold detachment that his mother was too busy fucking him to hear a knock at the door and Ellen must have let herself in too find them joined in the worst way. It seemed the picture of mother and son fucking was too much, even with all the repulsive things they must see at the clinic. Freddie was pulled out of his musings as he heard voices in the other room, one hostile another desperate.

**X**

Ellen let her eyes flutter open and though her thoughts were disoriented she recognized the woman in front of her who wore a look of worry; it was her best friend and with that Ellen let a smile make its way to her face but as her world came together her smile gradually fell replaced by a look of horror. It all came back to her; her walking entering the apartment to return Marissa's phone and pager but walked into something that would be forever burned into her mind. Ellen watched as Marissa reached out for her hand but with the scene replaying in her mind of Marissa fucking her son, Ellen scampered and crawled away from her friends touch.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Ellen screamed in an ominous voice

"Relax Ellie it's just me, calm down" Marissa said desperately trying to calm her friend

"Stay away from me-"

"Ellie just let me explain-"

"Explain what? That your sick, jus- just stay there" Ellen said her voice quivering

"Ok see, not coming towards you" Marissa said stopping her progress towards Ellen but standing between her and the door.

"I knew something was wrong but-…but I just thought it was me and I let this go on" Ellen said clutching her head and digging her hands into her hair

"Just let me explain Ellie" Marissa begged and got no reply but a look of an animal backed up into a corner and she took it as a go ahead

"I love him Ellie and-" Marissa was cut off by a snort from Ellen

"And what? He loves you too? Just look at him, does he look like he's in love?" Ellen said pointing to a stoic Freddie who had entered the room a moment ago.

Watching Freddie's from the corner of her eye Marissa didn't turn away from Ellen "He's all that I have Ellie and I can't let you or anyone else take him away from me" Marissa said her voice hard

Shaking her head in disbelief Ellen eyes darted around the room searching for an escape "Listen Mari I don't want to take Freddie away from you I just want to help you, your sick and I can help you" Ellen said noticing her only way out was blocked and knew things could end badly if she wasn't careful.

"I'm not sick you just don't under-"

Marissa wasn't able to finish her statement as Ellen bolted and grabbed her phone off the living room table, before Ellen could finish dialing she was tackled to the floor by Marissa who managed to shove the phone away from her but as Marissa made to straddle Ellen, Ellen sent her left fist with as much force as she could muster from the short distance into Marissa's abdomen. Marissa released a pained whimper which broke the momentary silence filled with scuffling that wore the apartment. Pushing a paralyzed Marissa off her Ellen got off the floor and bolted heading straight for the apartment door paying no mind to Freddie who seemed to have caught up with reality when Marissa's cry filled the apartment. Reaching the door Ellen threw it open but as she was about to continue on her way she found her progress halted by a pair of hands that had a death grip on her arm, looking to the source she found Freddie who swung her back into the apartment and using the momentum to slam the door shut with his back as he let go of her arm sending her to the floor on her bum. Wincing from the pain of her impact on the floor Ellen got back and looked between the desperate boy who seemed to be guarding the door with his life and Marissa who seemed to have picked herself up.

"Get out of the way Freddie" Ellen commanded

"I can't…she is all I've got" Freddie pleaded

…**..**

…**.**

**..**

With a sigh Ellen let her self drop down on her bum once more but stopped her quick decent with her hands just as she was about to reach the floor and let her self sit down softly, wincing from the pain from her earlier fall. She watched as Freddie slid down the length of the door until they were both on eye level, both eyeing each other unflinchingly.

"What now?" Freddie asked a second time

"It has to stop" Ellen said turning to look at Marissa "He is your son you can't…you just can't do that" Ellen said unable to look Marissa without letting her disgust show on her face

"And I suppose you wouldn't take my word for it" Marissa said in a deflated voice

"No" Ellen said her voice grim

"I promise it won't-" Freddie tried to voice out but was cut off by his mother

"Then what do you suppose we do" Marissa said uneasily already sensing the solution

…**.**

**..**

**.**

"Freddie will live with me until you can be trusted"

"NO!" both Bensons said in unison

"It's not up to you!"

"He's my son"

"You lost the right to be his mother when you decided it would be okay to fuck him!" Ellen screamed her anger getting the best of her which she regretted as she sent an apologetic glance at Freddie who had paled.

"I…I'm staying with mom" Freddie stuttered out

Freddie's plea went unheard as the two adults stared at one another, Marissa was first to back off the staring contest as she let her eyes take a glance at her son. Marissa moved back away from Ellen and Freddie on unsteady legs to sit her self at the edge of the couch combing her hands through her hair, before turning to meet Ellen's eyes once more.

"And how long until I can be trusted" Marissa said her voice deathly low as she tried to hold back the tears

"I don't know…I know a therapist you can see… he's a good friend of mine and I'll give him the information he needs and you will see him until he clears y-"

"I'm not going to see some asini -"

"Would you prefer spending fifteen years of yours and Freddie's life in jail?" Ellen spat out

…**.**

…

**..**

"How do I know you won't sell us out the minute you leave this apartment?"

"You don't have a choice now do you" Ellen said gritting her teeth as she tried to keep her anger in check

"I could-"

"You could what? Tie me up? Kill me?" Ellen spat "The only reason I'm even doing this is for Freddie and the memory of our friendship, so don't think you have a say I what happens"

"I'm not going anywhere!" Freddie screamed at both women who seemed intent on ignoring him

Ellen cringed slightly as she heard Freddie's voice ring throughout the entire apartment, still not turning to look at him; not because she was disgusted by him as well but feeling ashamed as she felt she had let this happen and more specifically because she didn't know what she could say to him as he seemed intent on staying with his mother. Most if not all other molested children would have been jumping at the chance of safe haven but he wanted to stay, making Ellen give Marissa a disgusted glare as she wondered how the woman must have raised him to be solely dependent on her. Ellen continued to stare daggers at Marissa hoping she would be the one to give him the talk but Marissa seemed to want her to carry the burden of separating mother and son, with a sigh Ellen turned to meet Freddie's desperate anguish filled face.

"Freddie-" Ellen started in a soothing voice "I know you love your mom but-"

"You don't have to do this…you could just go home to your family…and forge-" Freddie started to plead in a pained voice but Ellen cut him off

"No I can't! … ***calming breath*** your mothers sick and until she gets proper help you're going to have to stay with me"

"N-" Freddie began to protest

"Freddie" Marissa called out gently stopping Freddie's protest "She's right-"

"No" Freddie breathed out feeling betrayed

Getting off the couch Marissa walked over to her son before kneeling down before him staring into his eyes. Stroking his hair Marissa tried to calm him down as Freddie started to tremble, kissing his temple she gave him a reassuring smile.

"I was weak Freddie…and instead of protecting you I used you…" Marissa paused trying to keep as much sadness out of her voice as she fought back the tears "…I used you as a crutch for my loneliness…and for that I'm sorry Freddie, I'm so sorry but now you have to let me protect you and let you go" she said now letting the tears fall freely down her face

Freddie let his face fall in resignation not bothering to hold back the tears; slowly he pushed himself up and let his mother's hands slide off him. Reaching for his mother Freddie helped her up and let her cry on his shoulder, over her shoulder he looked over to Ellen who had also risen, expectantly waiting for her to tell them how to proceed from here.

"Freddie you should go gather some of your things….I'll come back for whatever else you need tomorrow" Ellen spoke her voice barely audible

Pulling his mother off his shoulder to stare at her, Freddie met her eyes with his; she gave him a small sad smile before giving him a slight nod before pulling away from him and standing aside. Freddie walked away from the two women and disappeared into his room to gather a few necessities.

**X**

Freddie returned a few minutes later holstering a small bag to find both women hadn't moved from the positions he'd left them in, his mother had her face downcast. Ellen walked over to the living room and picked up her discarded phone and purse, then made her way to the front door opening it and looking expectantly to Freddie who hadn't moved since he re-entered the room. Freddie walked towards the door but paused as he grazed shoulders with his mother.

"Can you give us a minute" Marissa spoke not raising her downcast face

"No" Ellen replied curtly

Letting out a sigh Marissa wiped a few stray tears before looking up at her son with a sad smile and giving him an embrace before pulling back to give him a good look.

"Remember to stay safe okay?" Marissa said gently stroking his face and got a slight a nod from Freddie

With that Marissa walked her son to the door where Ellen waited, her face painted with less disgust and a little sympathy from watching the two try comfort each other. Stepping out of the apartment with Freddie behind her Ellen turned to face Marissa with Freddie beside her.

"Take care of him" Marissa said meeting Ellen's gaze and got a slight nod in return before turning to Freddie

"I love you Freddie" she said barely concealing a sob

"I love you too mom" Freddie returned

Freddie found himself shaking as he watched the apartment slowly slide shut, after all he had tried to keep his life from falling apart here he was watching it fall apart. The apartment door closed completely with a click and as soon as it shut both he and Ellen could hear Marissa's full blown sobs from the other side of the door, Freddie instinctively grabbed the door knob and tried re-entering the apartment but the door had been locked.

Marissa could hear her son outside the door trying to get but she already locked it, sliding into a fetal position on the floor she continued to cry even more as she listened to her son beg for her to let him in. Unable to take anymore of his cries for her Marissa let all the noise fade into the background and continued to cry, the hallow feeling that constricted her chest never leaving her.

T.B.C

**Authors' notes**: I thought it was time to move things along so there you have it, though it would have been easier to have Ellen killed I thought it better to leave room for a positive ending or an even worse ending but that doesn't mean I'll be ending the story anytime soon. Once again let me know what you think.

3ohE


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Bridges**

6 Days after the previous chapter

**Puckett residence**

**00:00 AM**

Nobody likes to be alone and Samantha Puckett knew that all too well, she was once again sleepless and home alone as her mother had gone out with Mike again. Though happy that her mother hadn't switched men in what was to be two weeks, Sam didn't like the loneliness that griped her soul. She would tell herself from time to time that she wasn't alone but now more than ever it was getting harder to swallow that lie, usually hanging out with Carly and Freddie would somewhat reassure her that she wasn't indeed alone but with things the way they are now it was hard to convince herself. Freddie and Carly were together now and it felt as if she were a third wheel every time she was around them. It seemed the only time things were somewhat normal was when they got together to think up ideas for the next iCarly web cast but even then things weren't as they were as Freddie wasn't around anymore. Freddie had given them some half ass excuse of needing some space from his mother, prompting the move to his aunt's house? , Sam wasn't sure as she had been half listening. Freddie had named Gibby his replacement as their tech guy as he wouldn't be able to go to Bushwell plaza until he resolved things with his mother; thinking back to the moment he told them brought a small smile to Sam's face as she recalled the look on Carly's face. Though unhappy with Freddie's departure herself, even though she would never admit that to Freddie's face, she did find some hope in that some distance between Carly and Freddie would make things go back to the way they were.

Sam's inner musings were interrupted by the rustling and thuds from down stairs. Slowly extracting herself from her bed she preceded to grab a baseball bat from the corner of her room and making her way out of the room to check out the rest of the house. Pausing at the top of the stairs Sam let out an irritated sigh as she watched her mother stumble around but kept upright by Mike, fixing up her best glare she stood aside as Mike gave her an apologetic smile and carried Pam to her bedroom. With a huff Sam retreated to her room and returned the bat at its position at the corner of the room, setting herself down on the bed facing the door Sam shrugged of the pants she had put on in haste to cut off any criminal activity in the house. Left in a large t-shirt Sam was about to enter her bed when a slight knock caused her to pause.

"H –hey" Mike stuttered as his eyes fell on Sam before averting his eyes to the floor

"Problem?" Sam asked nonchalantly

"N-no I just wanted to apologize if we woke you, your mom just a bit much to drink"

"When does she have a little to drink" Sam muttered

"Right…well goodnight" Mike said awkwardly clearly uncomfortable with Sam's state of undress

"Kill the lights would you"

"Sure"

With that Mike backed out of the room to hear Pam calling his name, clearly wanting to end the night with a few moments of euphoria, looking down at the bulge that had already formed in his pants Mike sighed and slowly made his way to Pam's bedroom, where a pair of parted legs waited for him.

**Stewart residence**

**00:07AM**

Everything was unfamiliar even the ceiling he now stared at every night was unfamiliar; the bed he lay on was too soft unlike his own which was a perfect combination between firmness and comfort-ability. A small smile appeared on Freddie's face as he recalled the fuss his mother had made when they were picking out his bed years ago, concerned on how it would affect his back. In the past he hadn't seen what the big deal was but now that he found it hard to fall asleep in this bed he realized how much he missed his old bed and his mother. His small smile fell replaced by a look of sadness, change had been in the air ever since he had been forced to depart from his mother, Freddie recalled after leaving Bushwell plaza the ride to Ellen's house was endured in a thick silence as neither of the cars occupants spoke a word and it was only when they parked in her driveway that Ellen seemed to come up with something to say. Freddie guessed she had been thinking on how to handle the situation she seemed to have stumbled into, she had told him no word of what had happened would breathed to anyone including Carly and Sam if he wanted to be reunited with his mother, she seemed to sympathize with him when he silently accepted her terms knowing he had no choice in the matter and tried to reassure him that "things would get better in time" and that had been six days ago. Sitting up on his bed Freddie doubted that. Bringing his phone to his face Freddie checked the time to find it was some minutes after midnight, he had been continuously plagued by nightmares switching between scenes of him and his mother in the throes of passion to Ellen's face marked with pure disgust and with that came the men with no faces dragging his mother away from him and no matter how hard he ran he never managed to catch up to them. Sighing as he recalled the dream Freddie swung the blankets off him and let his feet touch the cold floor, in his boxers and a t-shirt Freddie walked out of the guest bedroom which was now his temporary room and made his way to the kitchen.

The entire house was extremely quiet and Freddie guessed that the rest of the house occupants were enjoying a fruitful slumber, getting a glass from the side of the sink Freddie filled it with water and gulped down a fair amount from the glass before deciding it was enough and depositing the glass into the sink. This had become somewhat of a routine through out the days he'd been living here; he'd wake up from the nightmares, come down for a glass of water and go back to bed and reflected on the recent events until it became too much to think about or sleep finally reclaimed him only to spit him out just a few minutes before his alarm went off. Freddie continued the routine and went back to bed and waited for morning to come, and it would be another day of trying to claim some form of solitude.

**Ridgeway high**

**15:35 PM**

"So you ready to go?"

Freddie's eyes snapped away from Carly's retreating form to Malika who wore a cheerful smile. 'Too cheerful' Freddie thought bitterly. He guessed Malika could feel his exuding a bad mood because her smile started to waver. Carly didn't accept his reason for not coming over to her apartment and had stormed off without letting him figure out a better lie to feed her, when the truth was that he was forbidden to go anywhere near Bushwell plaza which was one of the terms of the agreement he and his mother had agreed to. Freddie had guessed today wouldn't be his best day when he woke up from another nightmare an hour after going back to sleep. 'I'll apologize later' Freddie thought finally.

"Freddie?" Malika called out to a dazed Freddie snapping her fingers in front of his face

"Uhm yeah sorry just a little distracted, what's up?"

"Are you ready to go?"

"Go?"

"To the groovy smoothie remember?"

"Uhm sure, let's get going" Freddie said uncertainly sounding put off, but either Malika didn't seem to notice or didn't care.

They were a few feet from the door when Malika caught a sneer directed at her by Shannon Mitchell and a group of other girls she never bothered to remember, ignoring the looks Malika continued to walk beside Freddie with a nonchalant smile.

**Groovy Smoothie**

**16:28PM**

Malika watched Freddie intently as he talked about what technologies are used in iCarly; she hadn't a single clue as to what was what but was content being here with him without any distraction. She was glad the only time Carly was mentioned was only when they were referring to iCarly, Malika had seen the kiss he shared with Carly a week ago but she wasn't surprised only envious. Though she had a crush on Freddie she would settle for being his friend but if he broke up with Carly she had no quarrels with taking him for herself.

"So I never asked but how do you do the whole vanishing and appearing out of thin air thing" Freddie said changing the subject before he bored her to death.

"A good magician -**never reveals her tricks**" she said simultaneously with Freddie who had picked up where she was going with it.

"No exceptions" he asked with a fake pout

"We'll maybe if we were betrothed I could tell you, so it's up to you how much you'd like to know" she teased

"Hmmm…very tempting but I'll have to pass" Freddie said with a genuine smile. Never imagining he could keep a conversation going with Malika.

"So what's been keeping you up at night?" she questioned noting his slightly bloodshot eyes

"Stuff" he replied with a far away look in his eyes

"You want to talk about this stuff?" she said as she sucked on her Strawberry flavored smoothie keeping eye contact with him.

"Nah that's ok I'll be fine don't worry about it" Freddie said taking his eyes of her and reading the groovy smoothie logo on his smoothie

"Who said I was worried?" she asked masking a smile

"I…ah…what I mea-" Freddie stopped talking and smiled when he heard giggling

"Sorry I just couldn't resist" she said getting control of her giggles

"Hmmm…" Freddie mused out loud

"What?" she asked

"Its nothing…it's just I never figured you to be…Uhm fun" Freddie said sheepishly

"Well usually I was too nervous to interact normally" she said her cheeks turning slightly red

"What made you so nervous" Freddie asked curiously?

"Y-…"

Malika was cut off as a figure loomed over the two, Looking up she caught the glare of one Carly Shay. Behind Carly stood two other girls none of which were Sam, Malika recognized them seeing them earlier at school as she and Freddie exited the school. She had seen them seated on a table deeper into the Groovy smoothie but thought nothing of it until now; and with that she knew they must have contacted Carly and told her what they had seen without the entirety of the story. Looking over at Freddie who had the deer caught in the headlights look she assumed he hadn't told her about their…she didn't even know what to call what they were doing, they were hanging out right?. Before either she or Freddie could speak Carly slapped Freddie and stormed off leaving behind her entourage to glare judgingly at she and Freddie, Freddie stared after Carly contemplating weather to leave or finish their….

"Go after her" she told Freddie who didn't need telling twice as he ran after Carly leaving Malika in an uncomfortable stand still with the entourage.

XXXX

Running after Carly had seemed easier in theory but that didn't prove to be the case as Freddie entered Bushwell plaza. Panting Freddie continued up the stairs as the elevator seemed to be on the top floor. Reaching the Shay apartment door Freddie drew in a few ragged breaths as he tried to collect himself before knocking. Knocking on the door Spencer answered with a look of utter confusion.

"Hey Spence" Freddie greeted hands on his knees breathing hard

"Hey Freddie you know what's up with Carly?"

"Where is she" he asked

"Upstairs in her room but-" Spencer was cut off as Freddie ran past him and up the stairs muttering that he'll explain later and to let him handle it.

Reaching her room Freddie steadied himself before entering, he entered to find Carly pacing around the room and shouting at someone on her phone. She turned to look at him with slightly puffy red rimmed eyes, Carly snarled at Freddie throwing her phone straight at him; Freddie side stepped and avoided phone sending it shattering against the door, and he was fairly sure he heard Sam voice as it flew past him.

"Carly..." Freddie said in a calm voice trying to calm her down

"What the fuck do you want Freddie!"

"Just let me explain I-…"

"You what Freddie…" Carly snapped "I should have known you were like every guy" she said her voice cracking

"Just let me explain!" Freddie snapped at her his own frustration growing with her rant

"Why? All I've wanted to do is be with you these past days and you've been what? Fucking Malika?!"

"I haven't been fucking anyone damn it, we were just hanging out, and you know why I couldn't come over to the plaza"

"Oh yeah I remember, what was it you said? Oh yeah you said you needed some space from your mommy" Carly mocked

"You don't get it-" Freddie was about to go on but Carly cut him off

"You know we didn't even have to come back here we could have gone to groovy smoothie but no! You didn't even ask me out to groovy smoothie" Carly jabbed at him her voice slightly in its normal pitch

"What was it Freddie? What I'm not good enough for you now that you've had your dick in me" she said her voice low and tears running down her face.

"No! Why would you say that? You know I'm not like that!" Freddie said walking across the room and grabbing her by the arm

"I thought I knew you Freddie, but with the way you've been acting I know that I don't know you that well" She yelled at him yanking her arm away from his grasps

"So tell me Freddie who else have you been fucking? Hmm…" Carly said venomously a sick smile making it way to her face

"I haven't been fucking anyone, I told you; you were my first" Freddie said his voice shaken slightly

"Cut the crap Freddie, what? Was mommy giving you fuck lessons just like everything else; one has to wonder what happens during all those tick baths" Carly said letting out vindictive laughter.

Freddie felt his entire body grow cold as she uttered those words, tears were now threatening to spill from his eyes as he looked on at Carly who was smiling at his reaction. With all the screaming the pair didn't notice Spencer appear at the door.

"Screw you" Freddie said His voice dangerously low

"Oh! Did I hit a soft spot with mommy?" She said matching his tone

"You know what, your right you're not good enough for me and you know what? You were a lousy fuck and I'll take my chances with Malika than fuck y-…"

*Smack*

*Crash*

Freddie wasn't able to finish his sentence as Spencer's fist connected with his jaw, before Freddie could get his bearings Spencer was picking him off the floor and dragging him out of the room. Freddie was still disorientated as Spencer continued to drag him without any trouble down the stairs and into the living room, Freddie could hear faint sounds of Carly screaming at someone in the background but most of his hearing might as well have been listening to white noise, but that was drowned out by Spencer's face coming into view and giving him a very real threat to stay away from Carly. Spencer dragged Freddie out into the hallway and slammed their apartment door closed, leaving Freddie laying on his back staring at the ceiling in a daze.

Freddie got his bearing after a few minutes of senseless gazing and listening to the shouts coming from the shay apartment. Fingering his mouth before bringing his finger into his field of vision Freddie sighed as it was stained with blood. With the help of his apartment door handle he got to his feet. Freddie gave out a groan as he felt the aches and pains on his back from being dragged down the stairs. Looking back at the Shay apartment Freddie gave out a sigh, not only had he messed up his life but he had now made Carly cry. Making his way to the elevator Freddie contemplated as to what his next move was. He could apologize to Carly and he was sure that if he explained the entire situation later she would realize how stupid the entire argument was and take him back but Freddie wasn't sure he wanted that. He didn't deserve Carly he was dirt and had done enough damage in her life so maybe he should just let her be mad at him, because god knows he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he dragged her into his shitty life. Carly deserved to be happy but if she stayed with him he would only bring her suffering, so Freddie vowed to put his selfish desires aside for her and stay away from Carly that way even Spencer would get what he wanted.

**Shay apartment**

**17:50 PM**

"Y…yo… you've been having sex?" Spencer asked disbelievingly at his sister

"That's none of your business" she snapped at him making her way back upstairs

"What do you mean it's not my business, I'm in charge of this apartment and you so whatever you do is my business" Spencer snapped running after her.

"You're not the boss of me and you're not Dad!" Carly screamed irrationally and slammed her bedroom door shut before locking it.

Spencer stood momentarily still taken aback by Carly's outburst, they'd had arguments before but she'd never said that to him and though he only ever tried to be her older brother it still somewhat hurt. Regaining his bearings he walked over to Carly's door and tried the door to find it locked and could hear slight sounds of sniffling emanating from within. Feeling his own temper cool down Spencer knew a screaming competition wouldn't solve anything and slowly slid to the floor his back to Carly's door.

"Carls…I really don't know what's going on and that scares me, you're my little sister and I'm always trying to protect you and when I saw you crying and Freddie screaming at you… and all that talk of sex… I just lost my temper. I'm sorry for yelling at you but we still have to talk… I'll be waiting for you when you're ready to talk" Spencer finished getting up off the floor and making his way down stairs hoping he hadn't misjudged the situation and hurt Freddie for no reason.

**Puckett residence**

**17:25 PM**

Sam sat motionless and silently thinking 'what just happened', she just got a call from Carly screaming something about Freddie and Malika but as Sam was about to get a word in, the line went dead with a crash. Sam flipped her phone shut breaking out of her trance, getting up off the couch Sam grabbed her jacket and was about to head for Carly's apartment when a voice stopped her progress.

"Going somewhere?" Pam asked from the top of the stairs

"Yeah, I have to get to carly's-"

"No" Pam said cutting Sam off

"What?"

"You heard me I said no, you're not going anywhere"

"B- What...W…why?" Sam stuttered incredulously

"Mike's coming over tonight and I thought we might fix up the place"

"He's your boyfriend, why don't you do it yourself"

Pam flinched as Sam referred to Mike as her boyfriend "I could but I'd rather do it with my little girl"

"I'm not your little girl, haven't been for a while, I know you're usually too drunk to notice but I've grown up"

"Okay I guess I deserve that but your still not aloud to leave, its getting late and I don't want you out after dark"

"You have bad timing when you decide to act like a mother" Sam said brushing past Pam and making her way to her room

"Sam-" Pam tried to call after her but she had already disappeared into her room

Pam sighed and thought of how much she needed a drink, today was one of those days when she decided not to have a drink but right now it was very tempting. She had planned to have dinner with Sam tonight just like old times when there were four plates to be set on the table but it wasn't like old times, it was just Sam and her now and she had to try make the best of that. Mike wasn't coming over tonight she had just used that as a cover to get Sam to stay, as to why she couldn't just tell her the truth Pam wasn't sure. Pam gave a fleeting glance at the fridge where she could grab herself a nice cold beer but climbed up the stairs to talk to Sam instead.

**Seattle Medical Center**

**18:40 PM **

Marissa's hands clenched and unclenched around the steering wheel as she tried to block herself from reality but no matter how much she tried Freddie's face racked with tears flashed in her mind. Letting out a choked sob Marissa didn't know how she was going to face Freddie after this, in her weakness to face reality she had damaged their lives and wasn't sure if she should be allowed to see him again. She could almost laugh at the irony of how she always tried to protect Freddie yet it was her he needed protecting from. During the days without Freddie's presence she had been going through the motions and trying to put off facing the situation she had caused but she couldn't avoid it forever. Ellen hadn't talked to her since coming back the day after the incident to collect Freddie's clothes, until today that is. Though she didn't say much but handed her the psychiatrist's card and said she would be expected. Tomorrow would be her first session with one "Dr Silberman", she didn't know this doctor Silberman and even though Ellen claimed he was a good friend of hers, Marissa wondered if he really could be trusted, but that didn't matter either way; the situation was well out of her hands to control. After minutes of senseless pondering Marissa slipped her keys into the ignition and twisted, feeling her small VW Beetle come alive Marissa could only hang her head in shame as she caught Ellen's fleeting glance as she pulled out of the lot and drove away. Slipping the car into drive Marissa slowly pulled out of the lot making her way home. 'Home; can I even call it that when he's not there'.

**XXX**

The drive home was dull and saddening, this being her routine during the days past without Freddie. Feeling slightly detached Marissa made her way to the elevator before selecting her floor and letting the autonomous mechanism carry her to her floor. Marissa was in a dazed state as she gazed aimlessly at the elevator lighting, she continued to gaze upward as the elevator reached her floor and didn't know it had come to a stop until it alerted her with a ding. Broken from her thoughts Marissa stepped out of the elevator and prepared her keys for entry into her apartment. Marissa inserted her keys and unlocked the door but paused as she reached for the handle. A Touch of smeared crimson on the door knob caught her attention; it hadn't been there this morning for she would have seen it then. Even with all that was happening around her, she still couldn't help her habits of keeping everything as hygienic as possible. 'Who knows what Freddie could catch-' she caught her thoughts before they overwhelmed her as she remembered that he wasn't here anymore. Slipping a hand into her purse she brought out a handkerchief which she used to grip the door knob and let herself into her apartment, as for where or how the blood had come from Marissa didn't care, all she wanted to do now was get into her bed and maybe fall asleep without having to shed silent tears to call Morpheus. She hadn't eaten since she had left the apartment in the morning but she didn't care she just wanted to forget for few hours before having to face the psychiatrist whose cold clinical eyes would analyze and judge her. Slipping into her bedroom she didn't even bother to switch on the lights but made straight for her bed, entering the covers she didn't bother changing into her night clothing but simply stripped off her skirt and maneuvered her bra off leaving her in a shirt and panties. Feeling her soft pillow against her face brought Marissa slight comfort. Bringing her arms around it Marissa hugged it with a small smile wishing it were Freddie.

Marissa was about to slip out of consciousness when Freddie's face flashed in her mind and her eyes snapped open; feeling her thoughts about Freddie returning Marissa shut her eyes and tried to forget through reliving the days when Freddie's father was still alive. She could almost feel his touch as she remembered the times they were in the throes of passion. Feeling herself getting aroused Marissa squeezed her legs tightly together but couldn't help herself as she let her hand travel down into her panties and gave her clit a little rub. Reliving the last time she shared a bed with Freddie's father Marissa slid a finger into her wet self and let out a moan, desperate to escape thinking about Freddie Marissa continuously fingered herself on her memory of Freddie's father. Feeling herself about to come Marissa could almost taste Freddie's father, just as she was about to go over the edge Freddie's fathers face contorted and morphed into Freddie's face before uttering the words he had left with her the last time she had seen him "I love you mom". And with that Marissa felt Euphoria wash over as she came hard watching Freddie's smiling face fade from her vision.

"I'm so sorry Freddie" she muttered as tears slid down her face and once again let her tears guide her to sleep

**Stewart Residence**

**19:20 PM**

Ellen smiled as she entered her house to be welcomed by the scent of a home cooked meal, she felt tiered mentally and wasn't planning on cooking tonight but thought they'd other in. she followed the scent into the kitchen where she found two teenagers with their back to her inspecting whatever they had cooking at the stove. Giving out a cough Ellen watched as Freddie and Sarah jumped slightly and turned to face her.

"So what are you two up to" she asked pleasantly

"I hope you don't mind Mrs. Stewart but I thought I'd cook today, you looked tiered most of the days when you came back from work" Freddie said sheepishly

"And he's not such a bad cook too mom" Sarah said dipping her index finger into the pot and licking it seductively as she looked over at Freddie

"No, of course I don't mind Freddie; I wasn't really planning on cooking today so I should thank you for cooking"

"It's not a problem, I used to cook for my mom when she was having a rough week" He said the last part on a sad note

"That's sweet of you Freddie" Sarah commented

"Yes Freddie very sweet of you, so what are we having and when will it be ready?" Ellen asked quickly changing the subject

"We're having chicken, gravy and some mashed potatoes and it should be ready any moment now"

"Great I'm starving, I'll just go change-…Freddie what happened to your face" she said finally noting the bruise on his face

"Oh that, its' nothing I wasn't watching where I was going and ran into a locker"

"I'll go set the plates" Sarah announced walking out of the kitchen plates in hand

"Well watch where our going next time, purple isn't a nice color on you" Ellen said letting it drop for now

Ellen made her way up the stairs to get ready for dinner, her mind though still on the bruise on Freddie's face. She didn't want to interrogate him about it but wasn't sure how else to find out how he got it, doubting that he got it form a run in with a simple locker. Ellen shook her head as if to clear her mind of her thoughts before returning down stairs where she found Freddie had dished out their meals and were waiting on her. She watched was surprised to find her daughter and son eating at the same table as she hadn't been able to get them to eat as a family in a long time. Letting out a sigh Ellen smiled as she thought that she could get used to this.

T.B.C

Author's notes: Reviews are always welcome, and for any mistakes let me know and I'll fix em right up.

3ohE


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Curse my luck**

**Stewart Residence**

Staring up at the ceiling just as he did every night Freddie let out a sigh, he'd been staring up at the ceiling for what felt like an eternity now but still no sleep came. Usually he would wallow in self pity until he fell asleep but it seemed tonight would be different as he didn't feel no ounce of sleepiness come over him. **'**At least cooking dinner and bringing Ellen's family together had served as a distraction for what happened today with Spencer and Carly**'** Freddie thought as he sat up form his laying position. If sleep wasn't going to come Freddie decided he would take a walk and let his thoughts run wild as they usually would when he tried to keep himself busy with meaningless tasks. Getting fully dressed in some sweat pants and a jacket Freddie quietly made his way down stairs and snuck out the back door and into the backyard and exited into the street. Looking around Freddie chose to take a right not exactly sure where either road led but he would be able to find his way back once he felt he had enough of fresh air. Looking straight ahead at the road, deserted and looking sinister as the hallow light of the street lights shined down from above, Freddie felt his heart start to pound a little faster. He had never been out this late, and what's worse was that it was an unfamiliar location, what if there's a hobo just waiting for me around the corner Freddie thought as he felt his feet come to stop. 'Nut up Benson' Freddie thought before starting on a light jog. There were miscellaneous sounds all around him as he jogged by and he guessed they were from little pests or rodents looking for something to eat, he settled for that assumption as the alternatives weren't very appealing. Feeling more at ease and alive Freddie continued to run enjoying the adrenaline and the sound of his heart knocking about in his chest, so taken by what he was feeling he didn't notice that there were no more houses passing his vision in a slight blur.

Feeling his legs ache Freddie was about to make a stop when he noticed he was surrounded by plant life and trees on both sides, looking back the way he came he saw no change. Stopping and bending over with his hands on his knees Freddie attempted to catch his breath, feeling as though his chest was on fire Freddie groaned and straightened. Damn he thought as he looked forward and back in wonder at how he got so far out when the original plan was to take a stroll around Ellen's neighborhood, reaching into his jacket and pulling out his phone he was shocked to find it was a few minutes after midnight which meant he had been running for a little over an hour. Taking a deep breath to try soothe the burning in his chest he realized though a bit confused he felt good, here he didn't have any problems he was just running or standing in the middle of no where, no Carly, no mother and no Ellen; no problems at all he could just forget.

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard rustling in the bushes to his right; involuntary he jumped and turned around to see the source of the noise. The sound of rustling of leaves and breaking of twigs continued and seemed to get closer and Freddie busied himself with thoughts of squirrels and other animals it could be to keep himself rooted where he stood instead of running away like he did the first time he went out of Bushwell plaza after dark and running into a hobo. After what seemed like an eternity the rustling sounds stopped abruptly when they seemed to right in the bushes a few feet from Freddie, letting out a sigh he felt his tense muscles which were ready to flee at any moment relax, **'**it was just the adrenaline**'** he thought to himself before letting out a chuckle. One of his laces were untied and Freddie bent down and tied them feeling it was time to stop standing around and try find his way home the way he came. Straightening up from his bent position and turning towards the way he came Freddie felt his muscles tense and adrenaline kick in, as a few meters away from him was a Hobo in all its glory flashing him its yellow decayed teeth. The hobo had a shopping cart filled with various items that Freddie didn't want to identify, looking toward him the hobo continued to grin and then let out a hollow chuckle that sent shivers down Freddie's spine. After a minute of starring at each other though Freddie was not voluntarily staring just glued to his spot, the hobo let out a mad laughter and charged at Freddie. It wasn't very difficult for Freddie's body to interpret what gibberish his mind was saying as Freddie spun on the balls of his feet and broke into a full run in the opposite direction, he didn't look back as he could hear the hobo's laughter reverberating in every direction and felt his mind go into a blank and let is feet carry him away.

…**..**

Breathing hard and trying to take in deep breaths Freddie collapsed down on someone's lawn, he was glad to be back in a residential area but as for where he was Freddie didn't as of yet know. His heart was steadily beating wildly into his chest and his feet and legs ached so Freddie doubted he'd be able to get up any time soon. This would be the last time he followed his gut and go for a walk in the dead of night Freddie thought to himself as he cursed his luck, **'**what are the odds that at the same place I'm jogging there just happens to be a crazy hobo wondering about**'**, he thought silently as he looked up at the stars. Finally somewhat able to catch his breath Freddie sat up and for the first time took note of his surroundings. He didn't know how far or for how long he ran but here he was sitting on some ones lawn. Getting up off the lawn and walking into and up the street to find out where he was, Freddie was dumbstruck when he noticed a slightly old house with a white picket fence and unkempt lawn. It wasn't the best looking house among the others but it was the largest, Freddie combed his fingers through his hair and wondered how he had ended up on Sam's street. Flipping out his phone Freddie put an ear to his phone as he dialed Sam's number, he hadn't hang out with her in what felt like forever and though he would never admit it he missed the banter they'd have when they exchanged insults. The phone rang five times with no answer and on the six ring the tone died replaced by an autonomous message saying the number is no longer in service.

'Grrrr' Freddie thought making his way towards her house and hoped she hadn't switched rooms since last they were here

**Sam's room**

Sam tried to bury herself deeper into her pillow as she heard her phone vibrate and ring on her night stand, as it rang for the fifth time she felt her frustrations reach their limit and grabbed it and tore off the battery and deposited it roughly into her nightstand draw. She had been finally able to get herself to sleep and now some jackass was calling her in the middle of the night. After the talk with her mother Sam knew sneaking out to go find out what was up with Carly wouldn't be a good idea as she wasn't sure if she was in the right state of mind. Pam had gave her a talk about being a better mother and fixing their relationship, though she wanted to believe her mothers words Sam couldn't bring herself to do it as this wasn't the first time they had a run at it, just as she had tried to stay sober that failed and Sam wasn't looking to have her trust and hopes crushed by it. Sam was slipping out of consciousness when she heard her slightly opened window being slid up the rest of the way from the outside, her eyes snapped open and she threw her blankets off her in haste before darting over to the corner where her baseball bat lay against the wall. Once her grip had tightened against the bat Sam jumped involuntary as whoever had opened the window stumbled in unceremoniously and fell to the floor with a thud before letting out a groan. Sam was about to advance and pummel whoever had entered as part of her kick ass now ask questions later motto when he spoke.

"Sam don't shoot or hit me, it's me Freddie" Freddie said dryly from the floor, though not able to see Sam he was sure she was around there somewhere ready or about to strike.

"What the hell Fredwierd" Sam exclaimed as she flipped the lights on

"Well it's nice to see you too Sam" He said getting up off the floor

"It's nice to see me? What the hell are you doing here, it's like past midnight"

"Oh I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd say hi"

"You were in the neighborhood?"

"Yeah" he said walking over to her bed and collapsing on top of it

"Are you drunk?"

"Afraid not"

"I'm not sure what you're playing at but-…is this about what happened with Carly?" Sam wondered aloud

"She told you about that?" He asked soberly

"No she called but hung up when someone, probably you walked in"

"Ah! I thought that was you on the other side of the line before the phone met its bitter demise" He said with a sad chuckle

"I wasn't able to follow up on what happened so-"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why weren't you able to follow up on it, I'd think you would have raced over to Carly's after that"

"It doesn't matter why, and don't try deflecting, what happened?"

"Caught that did you"

"Yeah and I said stop deflecting and tell me what happened"

"Ok ok but can you get me a glass of water, I've been running and…it's a long story but I could use some water"

Feeling Sam about to retort at him about him deflecting, Freddie stood and took of his jacket to reveal his black t-shirt which was soaked with sweat. Feeling uncomfortable in it he pulled it over his head with some difficulty but got it off eventually and smirked as he watched Sam try not to stare. Dropping it to the floor with a splat Freddie put on a t-shirt Sam offered him once he was out of his a little uncomfortably.

"What did you do run a marathon, wait here I'll go get you some water, then you tell me what happened"

Freddie could only nod as he watched Sam disappear into the rest of the house; he sat himself at the edge of Sam's bed and waited for her return. Feeling his back ache slightly he relaxed and laid back on the bed, which was so acceptable that Freddie didn't even feel his eyes close and himself slip out of consciousness.

…

Kicking her door open Sam could only sigh at the sight that greeted her, she had been gone for less than ten minutes and yet there laid one Fredward Benson sprawled on top of her bed asleep. She mentally kicked herself for not thinking this would happen, he was clearly exhausted and a bed was not but a few feet away what would stop him.

'Maybe you wanted this to happen'

Sam heard the internal voice but ignored it and scowled lightly as she realized she didn't have a bed to sleep on as Freddie seemed to take up the entirety of her bed, not that she would consider sleeping in the same bed as he.

"Great" Sam muttered

She walked over to the side of the bed and left the jar of water and cup she had brought for him on the night stand, she got the blankets she had thrown off her in her haste to stop the intrusion and placed them on top of Freddie. After tucking him in she left with a blush as she had caught herself starring at him for quite a while, Sam flipped the lights and exited the room figuring she could sleep in Melanie's room other than subject herself to the cold hard floor or Bensons intruding limbs.

…**.**

…**.**

'So warm' Freddie thought as he roused from sleep with his eyes still closed less he be sucked into reality and loose this moment of bliss. **'**This can't be my bed**'** he thought, no not my bed but Ellen's guestroom bed. With that last thought Freddie sighed lowly as he remembered where he was and the events that led to him being here, it seemed last night he was a lot more exhausted than he thought. Slipping his hand into his pockets he brought out his phone which was riding on its last battery bar, he checked the time to be a little over eleven. Releasing the phone back into his pocket Freddie shut his eyes feeling his stress levels elevate as he remembered that he had left the Stewarts without any word and disappearing into the night. Freddie heard someone coming and played dead hoping it wasn't Sam's mother, but whoever came into the room didn't pay him any mind. Freddie continued to lay there and could hear nothing but rustling of closets and clothes. Cracking his eyes open slightly so he could see who was in the room without alerting them he was awake, Freddie let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding when he saw that it was Sam but with his letting out a breath Sam spun around sharply and gazed at him. Remaining absolutely still Freddie guessed she couldn't see his eyes were slightly open as she spun back around and went back to her dressing. 'Dressing' Freddie didn't know why he hadn't noticed it before but Sam was only in a bra and panties, Freddie could feel an erection beginning to form in his pants as he watched her slip on her blue ripped jeans. He wasn't sure when but he had stopped squinting and let his eyes fully open and roam her body, she had only a bra and jeans on now and was matching tops against herself on the mirror before tossing them away if they didn't go right with the outfit or at least that's what Freddie thought as you could never know with Sam. He saw her bring a black Harley Davison t-shirt before her and paused and starred, scrutinizing at a part of the mirror, trying to see what she was starring at Freddie's eyes met Sam's. He swallowed hard not sure how to play this off but was saved from the awkward moment as Sam went back to dressing and pulling the Davison t-shirt on.

Pushing the blankets off him Freddie tried to speak but let out a cough, not realizing how dry his throat was. Feeling the thirst Freddie was about to enquire about getting some water, when Sam made a sound and pointed to the jar of water and cup at the other side of the bed. Rolling over to the other side Freddie didn't bother with the cup and used the jar to gulp down the water but that proved to be a mistake as some of it went into the wrong passage and he choked. In a fit of coughs Freddie looked up to see Sam smirking at his misfortune.

"That's what you get for being a greedy little pervert" Sam said with a chuckle

"Shut ***cough*** up"

"Make me" Said with another chuckle "So now that you're awake sleeping beauty you can tell me what happened yesterday and we have time so you can tell me how you ended up here"

"Sleeping beauty?" Freddie said raising an eye brow "You weren't watching me sleep were you?"

Turning slightly red Sam wasn't able to mask her blush "I told you last night to stop deflecting"

"Can't you just hear it from Carly?"

"Her phones gone to shit remember"

"Can I forget" Freddie said to himself

"What"

"I said I can't, I left Ellen's house at night and I didn't tell them where I was going, I need to get back before she freaks out and…I just need to get back Sam" Freddie said avoiding her eyes

"Wait what was that…before she freaks out and what?"

"Before she freaks out and calls my mum" Freddie spat the half truth out easily

"Don't think I haven't noticed" Sam growled

"Noticed what?" Freddie asked meeting her eyes

"You know what forget it grab your shit and meet me downstairs, I'll drive you home" Sam said angrily

"Drive me?"

He didn't get a reply as Sam had stormed out of the room, Freddie felt the usual sinking feeling return as he thought of her words and what was it that she had noticed? Could she know?

"No" Freddie said audibly stopping his thoughts from going into dark places

'If Sam knew she'd let me know one way or the other, probably make fun of me or hold it over my head**'** Freddie grabbed his black t-shirt and jacket off the floor before walking down stairs suppressing a groan at every step he took. Walking out of her room Freddie followed the short hallway before coming to a stop at the top of the stairs that led down stairs and at the bottom stood Sam waiting for him by the door keys in hand.

"You do know how to drive right?"

*Shrug* "I guess I mean how hard can it be"

"Please tell me that was a joke-"

Freddie stopped mid sentence and blushed as his tummy gave a roar, his awkwardness and blush earned him a large bouts of laughter from Sam.

"Come on I'll make you some breakfast before we go"

"Wow that's awfully nice of you since I thought you were gonna rip my head off a few minutes ago when you exited the room" Freddie said suspiciously following her into the kitchen.

"I'm over it" she said with a shrug

"Or maybes you can't resist the good ol' Benson charm" that got a snort out of Sam

"So whose car are we stealing?"

"My moms, her boyfriend picked her up this morning"

"Your mom has a boyfriend?" Freddie inquired

"Yep" she said nonchalantly

"That's cool, how long has that been going on?"

"Why do you care?" she shot back at him irritably

"I don't, I'm just making conversation" Freddie said with a shrug

"Well stop your starting to bug me"

"Only starting?" he said letting a smile work it's to his lips

"Just keep on talking and you'll end up having Mama's fist for breakfast" Sam shot back with a smirk

"Alright alright I'll keep my mouth shut"

"You better"

….

…

..

"I know its weird but I've missed this you know"

"Missed what?"

"This"

"What's this" Sam said irritably digging around the kitchen cabinets

"You know you and me going at it like old times…its nice" he said in a slight daze which was broken by Sam's fist connecting with his shoulder.

"And now I'm over it" Freddie said dryly as he nursed his shoulder

"I told you to shut up" Sam said with a laugh

She motioned him into a chair at the kitchen table before busting out the skillet where she proceeded to fry some bacon which she kept nibbling on a bit before depositing it on Freddie's plate telling him "the chef must Sample her cooking to be sure it is good enough for the recipient". After some frying of eggs and making of toast Sam submitted her cooking to Freddie, whose mouth was practically watering as she laid the food in front of him. Freddie unceremoniously devoured the food laid in front of him; Sam smirked and left him to finish his food telling him they would leave as soon he was done. Sam walked out of earshot from Freddie before taking out her phone and calling Spencer. It was a Saturday so Sam was expecting to have to call a couple of time before Spencer picked up, and as she expected he didn't pick up until she called him the second time.

"Hello?" Spencer said with a long yawn

"Hey Spence its Sam"

"Hey Sam what's going on"

"I can't reach Carly's phone so could you give her the phone"

"Hold on"

Sam could hear Spencer shouting it out to Carly though she could scarcely hear what was going on the other side of the line, Sam thought she heard a lock being unlocked and locked again before her best friends shaky voice made its way to the phone.

"Sam?"

"Hey Carls, how are you?"

"I'm fine Sam" Carly said hoarsely

"You don't sound like it; it sounds like you cried all night"

"And people wonder why were friends" Carly said with a chuckle

"After your first breakup how could I forget?"

"You're a good friend Sam but don't worry I'm ok now"

"What happened yesterday when you called, you sounded so out of it, and then Fredward shows up in my room at midnight?"

"Freddie's there?"

"Yeah he was starving so I made him breakfast"

"W- W…why did he come there?"

"I don't know-"

"You're lying"

"What do you mean I'm lying, the only reason I'm calling is to-"

"To gloat? Its you're fault all this happened"

"What happened and how is it my fault?"

"You remember what you said to me, about Freddie not being incapable of lying and warning me about the other girls that were after him, I can't believe I didn't see it sooner, you were jealous and said all that stuff so I'd get jealous and ruin things between me and Freddie" Carly said harshly

"Carly just take a step back and think about what your saying, I don't even like Freddie that-"

"Don't deny it, I saw how you were looking at him the first time I kissed him at school, the reason I kissed him in the first place him was to send you a message but I guess I was stupid to think my own best friend wouldn't backstab me"

"Even if I liked Freddie I would have put you first-"

"Save the lies because I don't care and you may think you've won, but you should know that Freddie loves me, and will always love me over you, **Freddie is MINE**!"

"Carl- Carly? Damn" Carly hung up

Sam gripped the phone tight in her hands and stared at it as if it were Carly and trying to understand what was happening around her, Sam took a deep breath trying to cool down her rising temper. Looking back at the kitchen where she heard a clutter of dishes signifying that Freddie had come to the end of his meal. Sam couldn't understand it why had Carly been so fucking difficult and why had most of the shit she said felt true, she hated it; to admit that it ate her up to see Freddie and Carly together and she had indeed said those things hoping it would end their stupid sex crazed relationship. The image of Freddie going down on Carly flashed in her mind causing Sam to bring her hand and cup her mouth and make a run into the kitchen. Barging into the kitchen full sprint Sam keeled over the sink and threw up her breakfast which didn't look or smell the same as when she ate it, which made her gag and heave more of her stomach contents into the sink.

Freddie could all but watch as Sam heaved and gagged into the sink and had to pinch his nose shut to keep from loosing the food he had just ingested. Sucking it up Freddie let the smell of sick crawl up his nostrils bitterly and he had to stop and collect himself before making his way over to Sam who had stopped gagging but just stood there over the sink. Reaching Sam Freddie stiffened as he saw tears were trailing down from her eyes and dropping off her chin and into her sick, from the side Freddie reached out and brushed her golden hair away from her face. Freddie was frozen where he stood as Sam turned to look at him, she looked the most vulnerable he had ever seen her but couldn't help but think she looked as beautiful as he had ever seen her at that moment. Rubbing her back in slow circles Freddie was about to ask if she was alright when she abruptly pulled away from the sink and fell into his arms letting their lips meet. Freddie was stunned as Sam kissed him and not at all gently, he felt her tongue probe for entry into his mouth and in his daze his body took over and he deepened the kiss. The bitter taste of bile in Sam's mouth brought Freddie back from his daze and he brought his arms from behind Sam and settled them on her shoulders before unintentionally roughly pushing her away as she had resisted his gentle shove.

Sam fell backward and landed on her ass though that didn't seem to register to her as she looked back up at Freddie feeling hurt and rejected, Freddie took steps towards her with what looked like pity in his eyes and she felt all the anger she had been trying to repress earlier come to the surface.

"Get Away from me" She said crawling backwards away from Freddie's touch

"Sam I'm sorry" he said once again reaching out to help her up but she batted his hand away

"What I'm not good enough for you now huh Fredward" she said getting to her feet

"I…I don't understand" Freddie said feeling himself go into a slight daze; things had been ok a few minutes ago when she was making him breakfast and now this.

"You know this is all your fault, if you had just let things stay the way they were none of this would have happened and if I hadn't kissed you I wouldn't feel this way, its all you, you, you, you, you!, you!" Sam screamed at him

Freddie didn't want to go through this again, first his mother, then Carly and now Sam. Unable to handle it all Freddie brought his hands up to his ears and shut them as hard as he could to keep Sam's word from reaching him. This didn't seem to sit right with Sam as she walked over to him and started to pry his hands from his ears, Freddie tried to walk away from Sam backwards but collided with the fridge and slowly sank into a sitting position with Sam still clasped tightly on to his arms screaming "Listen to me" as she tried to remove his arms from his ears.

Gritting her teeth Sam pried Freddie's hands from his ears, the image of him muttering incoherent words forgotten to her as all she could see was the rejection he had served her.

"You did this all you do is screw with people, I bet that's why your mother threw you out, she couldn't stand all the shit-"

"Yes its my fault, I let her touch me that way and fucked around with Carly knowing it wouldn't end well but I was just so selfish that I fucked her anyway and now here I am Sam, what do you want? You want to screw me too huh well I'm sorry I can't, I'm not good enough for you"

"W...Wha…what? I'm not good enough for you?" Sam said her voice breaking

"Wha…what? You know what yes Sam I wouldn't fuck you if you were the last cunt on earth" Freddie said tears running down his face knowing anything else he said wasn't heard through Sam's insecurity eating away at her desire to be loved.

Sam let the tears run freely down her face as she grit her teeth suppressing a sob unable to stand the hurt she felt. Sam's fists clenched involuntary and before she could comprehend what she was doing her fist slammed into Freddie's jaw sending Freddie on his side in a fetal position nursing his jaw but wasn't able to continue as Sam stood and let her boot slam into his gut. Sam screamed as she pulled her foot back and repeatedly brought it back into Freddie's gut and chest area, she hated that he didn't scream or beg for her to stop he just lay there. He's laughing at me Sam thought as she saw his give a few spasms, kneeling down to him she grabbed him by the shirt she had lent him and brought him to look at her. Freddie smiled as Sam brought him to look at her; this was what he deserved and who best to give it to him than Sam.

Sam couldn't take his look of triumph over her and brought her fist up and let it crush Freddie's nose but all it earned her was a bloody fist and some snotty crackles of laughter from Freddie. Sam let out another fist that smashed into Freddie's face and silenced his laughter but his smile never leaving his face, Sam continued to growl at him telling him to stop smiling at her as her fists connected with his face. Freddie's face was bloody and bruised and Freddie was waiting for the next wave of knuckles when Sam released a high pitched scream. Looking in her direction Freddie watched as a man with dark hair pick her up and drag her away from him, Sam and Mike disappeared into the living room as she continued to struggle in his arms. With their disappearance Mrs. Puckett entered the kitchen and a look of horror crossed her features, she hurried down to Freddie and got on her knees and brought her arms towards his face but her arms went back and fourth between them awkwardly as she didn't know how or where to handle him. Freddie heard her call out to a Mike but wasn't able to hear more as he blacked out.

…**..**

…**.**

**Shay apartment**

Carly hung up the phone and gripped her head in her hands, she didn't understand how her best friend could do this to her, tossing the phone on her bed she let herself follow it and dropped on top of her bed with a sigh. Things were not supposed to be this way when she and Freddie started off together she was supposed to have great sex with him and in return he would be going out with the girl of his dreams. Feeling slight guilt for using Freddie when they were together Carly blocked all feelings of guilt for using Freddie not really needing depression to worsen her mood. He gave her great sex and she gave him meaning and that seemed fair enough but things had changed and even if Sam hadn't sent her into a jealous fit she still would have lost it with Freddie, Carly didn't know how or when it happened but every time she thought of Freddie her stomach went into knots and she missed him and dare she say it; she was in love with him. She didn't really blame Sam but she had just needed someone to yell at, but that didn't stop her from feeling horrible for what she had said to Sam and what happened with Freddie the day before. She knew most of what she said to Sam was true as she had known Sam liked Freddie long before even she did probably; giving out a sigh Carly felt sad for Sam because Freddie was in love with her and would always be hers. She may not have planned on falling in love with Freddie but she would make it work, but first she would have to get Freddie away from Sam before she sunk her claws into him.

Getting off her bed with a new resolution Carly thought now was a better time as any to brave the storm and face Spencer and even though he'd be mad and not want her going anywhere near Freddie she knew she could manipulate him and get her way by making him the bad guy or pulling out the "daddy's gone and mommy's dead" card. Slipping out of her PJs she put on some jeans and a top, grabbing Spencer's phone off the bed she strolled over to the door unlocked it and headed down stairs to talk to him. She found him laying horizontally on the couch in a daze.

"Hey" she called out sitting herself down on the first step of the stairs

"Hmmm oh hey Carls feeling better now?" he said getting into an upright position

"Yeah my minds a whole lot clearer now"

"I'm not even sure where I should start after what happened yesterday"

"Well you seemed more distraught after hearing about me and Freddie having sex maybe we should get that out of the way"

"You talk about it so casually that it scares me to even ask if-"

"Freddie was my first time?"

Swallowing hard as he prepared himself for her answer Spencer could only nod grimly at her

"Yes Freddie was my first, and judging by the look on your face you were expecting me to drop a black book on the table and announce that I am the town tart" Carly said with a fake huff as she gauged at Spencer's reaction

"No I was just preparing for the worst just incase-"

"I can see the way you're looking at me, you're judging me aren't you" she said though she knew he wasn't

"No I'm not you'll always be the-" Carly cut him off before he could finish

"I never judge or talk down to you as you change women like you change socks"

"You know that's different and I'm not trying to patronize you I just think you're a bit young to be having sex"

"How is it different? So you can go about having sex with as many girls as you want yet I can't have sex with my one boyfriend? And incase you haven't noticed we are siblings you can't tell me what to do"

"I told you we could talk when you're good and ready-"

"And I am"

"No you're not you're just attacking me at every turn"

"Oh so I should spare you're feelings and leave you to talk about the most personal part of my life and not yours?"

"I'm not the one who's fucking and having scream matches with my best friends, I heard what you said to Sam over the phone, I mean Jesus Carly what the hell is going on with you"

"So you're spying on me now?"

"Don't change the subject, I'm not sure what's going on but I know it's not good and if you don't talk to me I can't help you"

"Nothings wrong"

"Maybe grandpa was right, I'm not the best guardian for you"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What do you think it means"

"Look me and Freddie had a stupid fight because I got jealous when he wasn't spending time with me anymore and I guess I took it out my frustrations on Sam…I know it was wrong and the reason I came down here is to get this talk over with so I can go over to Sam's house and apologize to her and Freddie then everything will be ok, ok?" 'The best lies have a little bit of truth in them' Carly thought to herself.

"Oh well I'm glad you've come to your senses but I can't let you leave the house with all that's happened, I'm not sure if I can trust you with all the secrets you've been keeping so you're grounded until further notice"

"BUT-"

"No buts, and don't try any convince me otherwise I've made up my mind"

Sighing heavily Carly relented and trudged back upstairs, entering her room she pulled out Spencer's phone and dialed Sam's number wanting to apologize for what she had said, it wasn't called for. The phone rang and rang but there was no answer.

…

**Dr**** Silberman**** office (the shrink)**

"The doctor will see you in a moment Ms Benson"

Marissa could only nod at the redhead who seemed overly peppy to be working as a shrink's secretary. Though she was constantly typing on about something on the computer in front of her, Marissa noted how she would occasionally cast a glance at her as if to make sure she's not about to go ape shit. The waiting room had two couches along the wall, which were both in view of the secretary. Sitting herself down on the couch Marissa felt her muscles tense as it felt like she was being swallowed whole by the couch, she guessed that they were probably made for comfort and probably picked by the good doctor to give his patients a sense of comfort and security before he saw them, but with her it was the direct opposite. Ignoring the urge to stand Marissa let herself sink into the couch other than stand which would probably give the shrink some form of psychological mambo jumbo to use as ammo against her.

"Dr. Silberman will see you now Ms Benson" the secretary said gesturing to a door to her left

Before Marissa could get off the couch the door opened to reveal Dr Silberman who had a facial expression about him that made him seem ill, Marissa had expected him to have a patient with him but no one seemed to exit from his office as he held the door open, which solidified Marissa's belief that the couch was a test for his patients to see how they react to it's overly comfortable structure, why else would he keep her waiting for a little over ten minutes when he didn't have a patient with him.

"Ms Benson, I'm doctor Silberman please come in" he invited a smile that seemed too welcoming

Not wanting to say anything as of yet Marissa merely nodded and entered his office, which was just that an office. The office was just as she had expected with the large black leather couch most likely for patients to stretch out on as they relayed their issues, there was a glass coffee table between the couch and what looked to be an office chair which would be the doctors chair she thought as she saw him sit and relax onto it as he had probably done a thousand times. As she examined her surroundings Marissa noticed Dr Silberman's eyes never left her and his smile never faltered. Clearing his throat he signaled for them to begin.

"So how are you today Ms Benson?" he asked a little too pleasantly for her liking

"I'm as well as I can be, and its Mrs."

"Come again?"

"You keep calling me Ms. Benson, its Mrs."

Letting out a slight chuckle the doctor scribbled something onto a note pad he had in his hands before speaking again "I apologize Mrs. Benson I just assumed it to be so, because from the information I have been given of you it says that your husband is dead"

Marissa didn't respond but continued to look onward at the doctor who still kept his smile and scribbled some more but that didn't bother Marissa, he could write all he wanted she just wanted to be done with this and have her Freddie back.

"You are aware that Ellen told me of your…eh situation?"

"Yes she said she could trust you"

"But you don't trust me, even though I haven't gone to the police?"

"I trust Ellen and she trusts you, that's good enough for me, besides its not like I have any choice in the matter"

"Well you could always turn yourself in" Silberman said with a hint of humor

Marissa didn't find his attempt at humor amusing and sent him a glare but kept her mouth shut

"I'm sorry if my attempt at humor doesn't suit your taste but I couldn't resist I don't usually have the pleasure to say what's truly on my mind with my usual patients….So Marissa, do mind if I call you Marissa?"

"Not at all"

"Splendid, so Marissa why don't you tell me about yourself"

"Is the information you were given not enough?"

"It is but I thought I could get to know you before we…ah…Dig up the issues"

"That's not necessary we both know why I'm here, we have a couple of talks you evaluate my sanity and if I'll stop fucking my son"

"Right" Silberman said letting his smile fall for the first time "You know I usually have patients talking hypothetically about such things but with you having done it, it really throws me out of my comfort zone"

"Don't compare me to the other nut jobs you have here from time to time, I'm not crazy and I don't have issues, I just got confused and…-"

"Fucked your son?" this seemed to get a smile from Marissa

"Touché"

"So tell me about Freddie" Silberman said relaxing deeper into his chair

"I've raised him for sixteen years there's a lot to tell please be more specific" she said skeptically

"What's he like?"

"He's a good boy, smart and he hosts a web cast with his friends"

"Anything you can tell me about him on a personal level?" he probed for more information

"I thought I was the one getting counseling"

"Like it or not were going to have to talk about Freddie one way or the other"

"Ask specific questions and I'll answer you as best I can"

"When did you start molesting your son?" he asked grimly causing Marissa to flinch

"N…not long three weeks at the most"

"I'm sorry if you are uncomfortable but you did ask me to be direct"

"Its ok you can't say or tell me anything I haven't already thought about myself, I knew when I first started doing it that it wasn't…right but I see that more clearly now, so you can go ahead and judge me it doesn't matter to me"

"Part of the my job requires me to remove all personal feelings and views of my patients as soon as I walk into this office…So you say see things more clearly now? How so?"

"Look at me now, look at where I am; I could lose my son, the only person I have left and all because I…I…" Marissa didn't continue but buried her face in her hands

"Do you know why Ellen chose me specifically to handle you?, I mean don't get me wrong me and Ellen are friends but were not that close, I could have easily sold you out and had a clear conscience when I sleep at night"

"Wha..Then why you?" Marissa asked calming herself enough to look Silberman in the eye

"Before we get to that you should know that I will be seeing you on a regular basis from now on and that if I was to give her a report based on the progress of our sessions and in the situation were in, well it would take months if not years to get to the real issue that led to…the situation you are in now. Ellen told me of the bond you and Freddie have and by what she tells me about how you've raised Freddie I don't think you or Freddie could function properly away from one another for that long and I think Ellen saw it too when she took Freddie away from you."

"So what's the compromise?" Ellen asked eagerly

"I'll ask you two question and if you give me the answers I'm looking for then I'll tell Ellen to let Freddie move back in with you, we had originally planned for me give you some form of therapy before that but I know that would be a waste of time without having us both on the same level because if we went about it now you'd only tell me what I was to hear only as a means to get your son back. As you are right now I know you don't trust me and your probably here because you have no choice and want your son back, but I want you to acknowledge that you have a problem and see me because you want to stop and be a better mother to Freddie"

"And Ellen will just bring him back once you give the go ahead?" Marissa asked skeptically

"I don't see why not but that's not what you should be worried about right now, you should worry about what happens if you get the answers wrong?"

"What happens if I answer incorrectly?"

"I call the police you go to jail and never lay a finger on Freddie ever again" Silberman said casually

"Please I'm begging you please don't take my son away from me" Marissa said tears threatening to spill from her eyes

"I haven't done anything yet and you don't seem to have much confidence in yourself as I haven't even asked you the questions, but then again I imagine you already know the one if not both of the questions"

"It doesn't matter what my answer is you're a shrink you'll just keep twisting things in your head until you see and hear what you want"

"I guess that is possible" Silberman said detachedly

"You still haven't told me why"

"Why?"

"Why she chose you"

"Oh well you see I have a gift and that gift helps me tell when people are being truthful or not"

"That's it?"

"Afraid so, I'm sorry if its not as earth shuttering as you hoped" Silberman said rolling his eyes

….

…

..

"Are you ready?" He asked her

"Shoot" she said quietly

"Do you realize that you have a deep psychological issue that is hurting your son?" he asked coolly his eyes examining her every feature

"Yes" she said looking him in the eye with her own red and puffy from the few tears she had shed

"And now for the real question, if I allow Freddie to move back in with you will you be able to stop molesting him?"

"I will"

"Your lying" Silberman said in disgust getting up from his chair and making his way over to his desk where the telephone lay

"I..I...I'm not lying, please you said-" Marissa didn't get to finish as Silberman voice boomed over hers

"You sick fuck I saw through you petty lie and I said if you gave the answers I wanted I would give the go ahead to get your son back, but I see you'd rather get off than have him back….yes Seattle police department this is Dr-"

Silberman wasn't able to finish his sentence with his confused secretary as Marissa grabbed the phone off his desk and ripping it off its line and proceeding to rip the line from the wall before turning back to Silberman looking disheveled and frightened.

"Please!, please! Stop, what was supposed to say; that I don't know, that I'm scared because I don't know if I can stop, I would give all I had to know for certain that it won't happen again but I don't, please don't call the police we can go through therapy for years if that's what it takes but if you call the police then I won't ever be able to see my son and Freddie…Freddie he won't forgive me for leaving him" Marissa said hysterically

At this point Marissa was on the floor on her knees bawling out in tears, she couldn't bring herself to stare up at the doctor anymore the disgust he had shown for before had mirrored Ellen's and that had been unbearable enough, she couldn't imagine everyone she knew looking at her that way.

"Peter is everything alright in there?" Silberman's secretary called form the other side of the door with slight urgency in her voice

"Everything's fine Alex go back to your desk"

"Are you sure? That woman doesn't have a razor to your neck does she?"

"If she did I wouldn't say so now would I?"

"Ok, ok no need to be a smart ass, that Seattle police department thing wasn't funny you know" she said walking away

This statement stopped Marissa from releasing her next sob, sniffling loudly she brushed her disheveled hair away from her face and looked up at a smiling Dr Silberman questioningly.

"Now if you gave me that speech from the start there wouldn't have been any need for all the theatrics" Silberman said going down to Marissa's level and helping her up.

"Wha..What's going on I don't understand?"

"I had to do something to get you to get the truth out, so I misled you into thinking I was calling the police when I was calling Alex there outside"

After a long pause Marissa spoke "So what now?"

Marissa asked shakily after collecting herself enough to walk over to the black leather couch and sitting herself down, so emotionally drained that she didn't care that he had tricked her, all she cared about was getting her Freddie back and having her apartment feel like a home again.

"Well now I call Ellen and tell her to give you back your boy and we schedule another session for you and Freddie separately"

"Just like that?"

"Just like that, though I sense Ellen will have a problem with it since we were planning on waiting two weeks before…well you know"

"I don't know what to say" Marissa said in a daze

"Say your acting was on par with George Clooney and we'll call it a day" this got a sad chuckle from Marissa "Before you leave set a reoccurring appointment with Alex, then you can go home and wait for Ellen to contact you once I've talked to her"

"How long do I have to wait?"

"I don't know that's for Ellen to decide, it's up to her to trust my judgment over her own"

Marissa only nodded at this on the one hand she was happy to have some hope of getting Freddie back but she couldn't really trust herself around him yet, so she hoped Ellen took her time to call her as she wanted more time to prepare for Freddie's arrival to get back into her old character of being the overprotective mother. Muttering a soft thank you and good bye Marissa was almost out the door when Silberman called out to her.

"You were lucky to have Ellen as a friend, I hope you know that had it been any other Joe you call your friend they would want nothing to do with you but she made a compromise, which is more than I would have done"

"I Know" She said sadly "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure"

"Earlier you said you could have easily turned me in and went to bed with a clear conscience, so why didn't you?"

"I won't lie to you I thought of doing it a dozen times but what good would that have done? You would go to jail and probably never have a life again even when you get out of jail and Freddie would get shipped off to some distant relatives and most likely have some psychological issues which would lead to a life of sick unhappiness. The world can be a sick and demented place at times but sending you to jail won't change that, so I chose the better option which is to fix this and maybe you and Freddie can go on to live some what happy lives"

"Thank you"

"Don't thank me yet" He said coldly

…**.**

…

Entering her apartment Marissa couldn't suppress the smile that had formed on her face ever since she had left Dr. Silberman's office, she knew it might be days or even weeks before Ellen told her Freddie could come back home but the fact that she was one step closer to getting him back made it all better. She was already planning on what they would have for dinner once he got back, though nothing to exotic; wouldn't want to Freddie to get some form of food poisoning. With that thought Marissa couldn't help but let herself laugh out loud in the empty apartment, walking into the living room she discarded her purse on to the couch by letting it fall of her arms and she followed suit and dropped herself on top of the couch like a sack of potatoes. Though things were not ok as of yet it didn't matter to her, they would get better and Freddie would be home again where he belongs. Marissa's inner musings were interrupted by her pager going off, letting out a groan Marissa sighed in frustration, she had requested an off day today and if they had paged her in it must have been an emergency and she probably wouldn't make it home until tomorrow. Looking down at her pager she felt her mood brighten once again as she thought maybe it was Ellen who was paging her using the hospitals number, digging into her purse she found her phone which was on silent explaining the half a dozen missed calls from the hospital. Dialing on Ellen's number Marissa waited anxiously as the phone rang but there was no answer, then she dialed the hospital only for one of the nurses to pick up.

"Marissa?"

"Hey , Sally what's going on is Ellen there?" Marissa asked slightly put off

"Wha-, ah yeah but listen Mari I need you to come down to the clinic"

"Why what's wrong?" Marissa asked frowning as a sinking feeling settled in her gut

"It Freddie" Sally said grimly

"Wha…What about Freddie?" she stuttered out

"He's been hurt"

…**..**

**Puckett Residence **

Pam Puckett looked on bewildered at the site in front of her, Freddie was passed out and bloody on her kitchen floor, her heart rate was sky rocketing sending adrenaline running wildly through her veins making her senses heightened, the faint smell of sick made its way to her nostrils making her gag slightly and cover mouth with her hand.

"Mike!" Pam screamed with more urgency than before

The kitchen door opened to reveal Mike, who at seeing the site in front of him hurried over to Pam with a questioning look all thoughts of a quickie long since forgotten.

"Where's Sam?" Pam hurriedly questioned

"She ran upstairs as soon as I let her loose" Mike said getting his arms around Freddie "C'mon we need to get him to the hospital, looks like Sam did a number on him" With that he carried Freddie in his arms out of the kitchen and to the car

"We don't know how this happened, don't be quick to blame Sam" Pam said as they reached Mike's Ford Mustang

"Sam's knuckled were all bruised and bloody when I dragged her away, she did this to him" Mike replied angrily as he laid Freddie down in the backseat.

"Take him to Seattle medical center he'll get the best care there" she said grimly imaging the shit storm that would come of this once the mother found out

"What do you mean take him? Aren't you coming?"

"No I have to talk to Sam, find out what happened, I'll meet you after"

"Jesus Pam I don't even know the kid, how am-"

"They'll know him at the hospital and take care of everything, just go Mike I'll call you when I'm done with Sam"

"Fine" he said in annoyance

Pam watched as Mike drove away before briskly making her way back into the house, giving Sam the benefit of the doubt Pam walked into the house and made her way upstairs. Reaching Sam's room Pam was about to knock on the door when she stopped herself, pausing to get into her parent mode. Grasping the door handle and twisting it Pam entered Sam's room with a stern look, her stern look immediately changed to one of anger when she found the room deserted and the bedroom window wide open. Cursing lightly Pam combed her hands through her hair in frustration. Walking back out of the room she slammed the door shut and was reaching for her phone in her pocket but paused as an idea hit her. Walking hurriedly to Melanie's room she didn't pause to compose her looks to confront Sam but walked in and examined the room in expert precision a Terminator would be proud of before spotting Sam sitting cross legged on Melanie's room at the corner of the room. Sam had her head buried in her hands and looked to be crying but Pam knew she couldn't console her daughter without finding out what was going on, so she shrugged off her sympathy before advancing over to Sam and sitting herself down next to Sam.

"Sam" Pam said brushing Sam's disheveled locks away so as to get a good look at her daughter who was indeed crying "Sam honey what happened"

"I- I…I don't know " Sam said stuttered through her silent sobs

"Sam c'mon honey you have to tell me what's going on I just want to help, Freddie was hurt badly; why would you do that to him I thought you were friends and even liked him in your on way?"

"I didn't mean too, I was just" Sam paused only to grab a hand full of her hair and pull on it tightly in frustration "I screwed up bad mom" Sam said meekly.

"Sam you have to tell me what happened"

"Carly had a fight with me"

"Carly had a fight with you? I don't understand what do you mean fight with you and what does it have to do with Freddie?"

Sam paused and seemingly collecting her thoughts before she spoke and told her mother as best she could what had happened. Pam's face paled as Sam continued to tell her the entire story and how she had lost herself in all the hurt that she reacted the only way she knew how to when she was hurt or when somebody hurt her. Sam didn't tell Pam about what she and Freddie said after kiss not wanting to complicate things but only said he rejected her and she lost it. She herself didn't understand Freddie's behavior or what Freddie said meant, she had heard him when he said he wasn't good enough for her but somehow it came out all messed up in her head. After hearing the series of events that led to Freddie being a bloody mess in the kitchen floor of her house Pam didn't know what to say or do to console Sam who was a mess next to her.

"What was Freddie doing here so early in the day" Pam asked somberly just to break the silence

"I don't know he just said he was in the neighborhood"

"I'm sorry Sam"

"Why are you sorry"

"If I was a better mom I'd have known about Freddie and Carly getting together, I suspected you liked Freddie from how you spoke of him and acted around him"

"And what does that have to do with anything" Sam said irritably

"I just think if I had known I could have talked to you about it and non of this-"

"I need to see Freddie" Sam said cutting Pam off, not really in the mood for her wanting to be a better mother speech

"Mike took him to the hospital, I'm going to go talk to Freddie's mom when were done here and explain and hopefully diffuse the situation but until then Sam I think it would be good if you stayed clear of Freddie"

"No, I have to see him, he has too know how sorry I am" Sam said slightly hysterical as the image of Freddie's broken and bruised face kept replaying itself in her mind.

"I'm sorry Sam but you'll have to wait, I'm not sure they'll let you anywhere near him after this"

"I just want him to know that I'm sorry…I didn't mean too" At this point Sam openly cried into Pam's waiting arms

"I know sweetheart I know" Pam cooed at Sam trying to calm her down

"Please take me with you, I'll stay in the car, I just want to know if he's ok or not as soon as possible"

"Ok honey but you stay in the car understand?"

Sam only nodded in response before pulling back from her mothers arms, Sam wiped the tears of her face before looking up at her concerned mother and giving her a small tired smile. Even though her mother had some flaws; Sam knew she loved her, after asking if she was ok a couple of time Pam left Sam telling her to meet her downstairs when she was ready to leave for the hospital. After watching Pam leave Melanie's room Sam got off the bed and went over to the dresser where she fixed her hair before exiting as her mother did and joining her down stairs. They walked to the car in silence both seeming to have a lot on their mind, Sam thinking about Freddie and if he was ok and Pam thinking of how she would get Sam out of this mess without her getting sent to the Juvenile detention center.

…**..**

**Seattle medical center**

Ellen paced back and forth wondering how the hell she would explain this to Marissa when she herself didn't know what happened, the man who had brought Freddie in was not telling them anything of what happened only saying he was told to bring "the kid" here. **'**I screwed up, I fucking screwed up**'** Ellen thought to herself **'**I should have asked what happened to his face yesterday but I was so caught up with dinner and everyone being in a good mood that I just forgot. What the hell could have happened to him?, I mean when I left this morning things were alright, I mean I think they were I didn't see Freddie since yesterday assuming he was sleeping in this morning when I left, shit shit shit' Ellen let out a shallow laugh at the irony in this situation, she takes him away from a fucked up home only for him to get hospitalized while in her care. **'**Un-fucking believable**'** she thought bitterly. She had told one of the nurses to call Marissa and tell her to come in, she was trying to put off talking to Marissa for as long as possible thinking of ways in which she could explain this but was still in square one. Right now Ellen knew Marissa wouldn't give two shits of what she knew and their deal for her to stay away from Freddie until Silberman said otherwise and would probably rip her head off once she saw his face and looked at the X-rays of his chest. He had two fractured ribs a broken nose and an all around bruised face, Ellen sighed knowing this would end badly.

"Freddie?" Ellen's thoughts were interrupted as Marissa burst into the room looking about wildly before her eyes rested of Freddie

Marissa stood motionlessly as she let her eyes examine Freddie's face, his face was bruised and swollen in certain parts. Totally ignoring Ellen she took shaky steps towards him, her face looking more distraught as she neared his unconscious body, she pulled a chair to his bedside still shaken by his image. Marissa let out a sad moan as she brought her hand twitchingly to his face and closed her eyes as if she could bare no more to look upon his face. Letting her hands cup his cheek Marissa's face contorted in pain, she let her hand trail up his face and into his hair and she started stroking it. Letting her eyes open Marissa silently let the tears fall from her eyes, paying Ellen no attention she continued to cry silently. Ellen was taken aback by this reaction as she had expected Marissa to have her foot up somebody's ass looking for answers to what happened but instead she just sat there crying. Ellen wasn't sure what to do but Marissa saved her from having to think of something to say.

"What happened to him?" Marissa asked quietly her eyes never leaving Freddie

Caught off guard Ellen stuttered out a reply "I…we…we don't know what happened, he was brought in by some guy and he only says he was told to bring him here by someone called Pam Puckett and that she'll explain everything when she gets here" Ellen paused to see if Marissa would react but she kept stroking Freddie's hair. "I called the police and they should be here soon"

"Pam is Sam's mom but-"

Marissa wasn't able to continue as Freddie began to stir under her touch, watching his eyes flutter open Marissa couldn't stop a small smile making its way to her face. Freddie looked about the room in a daze as all he could see were blurs but his vision soon cleared and his eyes focused, looking to the source of the loving touch Freddie smiled as he saw his mother looking at him with worried eyes and a loving smile. Freddie's smile fell as he remembered what happened and looking about the room he realized he was in hospital.

"Sam?" he questioned almost involuntarily and tried to sit up but a sharp pain stopped his progress

"Shhh…hey don't try to move you have fractured ribs, it would be best to remain as still as you can" Ellen said coming up on the other side of his bed, opposite Marissa.

"Who did this to you Freddie?" Marissa asked sending a dark glare at Ellen

Freddie wasn't able to answer as a nurse came into the room announcing that a Ms Puckett had arrived, to which Marissa told her fellow nurse to let he through and direct her to their room. The three occupants of the room waited tensely for Pam who instantly stiffened as soon as she entered the room.

"So I guess Freddie's told you what happened then?" Pam said hesitantly

"No but I've got a few ideas and all of them point to Sam being responsible for this" Marissa said angrily

"Marissa calm down-" Ellen said trying to diffuse the situation but was cut off

"Fuck you Ellen you were supposed to be looking after him and now look at him" Marissa fired at Ellen sending a glare at her before turning back to Pam

"As if he would have been better in you're hands" Ellen jabbed at Marissa though knowing Marissa was right.

"That's enough" Freddie shouted hoarsely before wincing and laying his hand on his rib cage, he was all too conscious about the other woman in the room and he didn't want them letting something slip that could make the situation worse.

Marissa's temper was about to hit the roof but when she heard Freddie wince in pain it drained out of her and she let her attention fall on him; making sure he was ok. After five minutes of Freddie trying to convince his mother he was ok and that it only hurt for a moment did the conversation return to what had happened to him, Pam was about to speak when Freddie spoke.

"It was an accident" Freddie said meeting Pam's eyes

"What happened?" Marissa asked again wanting elaboration if she was to believe it was an accident

"I broke up with Carly and I was feeling really emotional and couldn't sleep so I went for a morning run and ended up at Sam's house. I decided I'd say 'hi' or at least I thought I did but when I was with Sam I started forcing myself on her but she stopped me and ran upstairs in an attempt to escape me. I ran after her and caught her at the top of the stairs and tried to apologize but I guess she thought I was forcing myself on her again because she gave me a light shove. I was at the edge of the top of the stairs and as I tried to get my balance I ended up falling face first down the stairs and that's all I remember"

"You can't expect us to believe that" Ellen said incredulously

"She's right Freddie I know you and I know you wouldn't force yourself on anybody, you don't have to protect Sam if she did this to you"

"I'm not lying, right Ms Puckett?"

"Ah...Yeah that's right he fell down the stairs, we found Sam hysterical next to him, I think she thought he was dead but then I got my …friend to drive Freddie here where I knew you'd be, while I calmed Sam down enough to know that she was ok"

"You're lying you bitch" Marissa said about to rise from her chair but Freddie caught her wrist and gave her a stern look that made her panties wet

"Mom Sam has been one of my best friends for years, I know she can act violent sometimes…ok all the time but she would never do this to me intentionally and you know that, if you want someone to blame, blame me I screw everything up"

"Freddie" Marissa said in a low tone turning to look at him not knowing what to say to her son but stroked his hair gently

"If this is true I imagine you're daughter must be shook up is she ok" Ellen inquired turning away from Freddie and Marissa with distaste

"She's fine but still a bit shook up, and she wanted to know if Freddie was going to be ok"

"Freddie will be fine in a couple of weeks but he'll be in hospital until then, he was lucky he didn't break his neck"

"I'm sorry for what I said I was just concerned for Freddie" Marissa said turning away from Freddie.

"No apology necessary I get what its like when it comes to mothers and their children" Pam said with a thankful smile as she met Freddie's eyes before leaving the room.

After watching the woman leave Ellen turned her attention to the Bensons and watched as Marissa lovingly stroked Freddie's hair, Ellen averted her eyes as she wasn't sure if it was motherly or Marissa's sick side rearing its filthy head as soon as it had contact with its desire. Unable to bare anymore Ellen broke the silence that had accumulated since Pam had left.

"Freddie's going to be ok Marissa I think we should leave now and let him rest, I'll let the nurses know he's high priority so he'll be taken care off" Elle tried to speak as casually as she could

"No I'm not leaving his side"

"I'm sorry but I can't trust you Mari, so please leave"

"You can trust me the shrink did he said you can let Freddie live with me now, I'm better now and all I want is to just sit here at his side ok, he can stay with you when he gets out if you want but, just let me sit here and let me be with my son"

Taken aback by the revelation Ellen tried to reply but the puppy dog looks she was getting from the two occupants in the room kept her mouth shut and she silently made her way out of the room saying she would be back to check on Freddie in a little while. When Ellen exited the room Marissa let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, letting a smile make its way to her face Marissa turned back to Freddie with a warm smile. Freddie looked at his mother's eyes and he knew that she was ok and that everything would be alright, bringing his hand up and laying it at his side Freddie closed his eyes feeling somnolent from the drugs but content as his mothers' hand inter-locked with his.

T.B.C

**A.N:** Reviews are always welcome, and for any mistakes let me know and I'll fix em right up.

3ohE


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**The Calm**

**Seattle medical center**

*Sharp intake of breath*

Waking from another nightmare Freddie shot up from his bed with his hands thrashing wildly around his bed as he searched for some form of solidity in the darkened room. A sharp pain caught Freddie from his side sending him down back into the bed gasping for breath, a steady hand laid on his chest with its owner telling him in soothing tones to calm down and relax. Marissa flipped the over head lights on sending light spilling over her and Freddie who had squeezed his eyes shut from the pain.

"Are you ok Freddie?" Marissa questioned Freddie; who was still groaning from the pain

"Mom?" Freddie called out as he slowly let his eyes open though squinting from the light

"I'm here sweetie, you need to calm down or you'll cause yourself more pain with the erratic breaths your taking"

Freddie shut his eyes and let out a grunt as a response to her words before letting himself calm down and take shallow and controlled breaths. Feeling more stable Freddie opened his eyes to find his mother hovering above him with a loving smile he hadn't seen in what felt like ages, looking about the room Freddie sighed remembering all the events that led to him being in the hospital.

"How do you feel" Marissa inquired as she stroked his hair

"Like shit" Freddie said unconsciously

"Fredward Benson!" Marissa exclaimed

"Sorry mom, I guess I'm just a little out of it from the pain meds"

"I should hope so" Marissa said with a frown before letting her smile return "god it feels like I haven't seen you in years, I've missed you so much"

"Missed you too mom, I just wish this mess would just go away"

"I know, this is all my fault…and it's hard to imagine why you're not angry at me"

"I-" Freddie wanted to speak but he found no words, he had been avoiding thinking about what he and his mother did to him, and so far he was doing just that but now having to talk to her about it, he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Freddie gripped his head in frustration and let out a groan, he couldn't bring himself to face it not after all he had done to try bury the memories that haunted his dreams every time he closed his eyes. He had lived it all but facing ones reality was something else, he didn't want to face it but rather forget it and then everything would go back to the way it was and even though there was a tiny voice at the back of his head telling him things would never be as they were; he could choose to ignore it. Forgetting would have to be his savior other than face the reality that your mother had molested you, which would lead him to question everything about his relationship with his mother; had all the extra loving care she showed him been her way of conveying her desires' and not her love for him and the underlying question which was did she even love him at all and if so then why would she have done what she had. No these thoughts were better not faced so he let them be forgotten.

"Are you ok Freddie?"

"I'm ok mom I just… can we not talk about it I …I'd rather we just forget it" Freddie said not meeting her gaze

"I'm sorry it must be difficult enough to be near me"

"Please mom lets just forget" Freddie pleaded still not meeting her eyes afraid of what he might see

"Oh Freddie" Marissa breathed out holding back a sob as she brushed away a few tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes "You should get some sleep and I'll see you in the morning ok?"

"Ok, goodnight mom"

"Goodnight Freddie"

"Mom?"

"Yes"

"I love you"

"And I love you Freddie and I'm so sorry" Marissa said emotionally before walking out

…**.**

…

"Get well soon" that's what the card read; it was from Carly and Spencer, Freddie felt a pang of guilt as he placed the card at his side. He could only imagine what Spencer and Carly thought of him yet they had sent a card showing concern for his health. Looking about the clinical room Freddie could feel himself fading into a slight depression as was his occupation during most hours he was awake during the day and night. Freddie tore his gaze away from the rest of the room to stare at the door, it was twelve o'clock in the afternoon and his mother always checked in on him everyday at this time or stayed with him for most of the night when her shift was over. Their talks were small and limited as she knew his discomfort with discussing the situation they were in, Freddie knew that he was only putting off the inevitable but if it got him a few moments of peace he would take them.

As if on cue Marissa entered wearing blue scrubs, which was her usual attire when she checked in on him during her work hours. Ellen had backed off quite a bit and neither of them knew why but Marissa assumed that maybe she had talked to doctor Silberman and he had convinced Ellen into letting her have a little leg room. Marissa walked in silently and pulled a chair to Freddie's bed side, with him being in a slightly seated position made by the adjusted bed. His ribs were still healing and they had told him no major movement, which meant the only time he really got to move about a bit was when he had to go to the toilet.

"Hey how are you feeling?"

"The pains gone but I'm pretty sure the boredom is killing me"

"I know it must get boring here by yourself but you're the one who doesn't want any visitors"

"Yeah I know…" Freddie said with a sigh before trailing off

"Carly's been harassing me for information on what happened to you, I get the feeling she's not buying the you feel down the stairs bit"

Freddie mumbled something under his breath not meeting his mothers' eyes and looking out the window. Seeing that Freddie wasn't going to respond Marissa continued.

"She and Spencer also want to know why they can't visit…I told them you needed your rest but I doubt that will be enough for them" Marissa again waited Freddie to respond but he continued to look out the window "I…we" Marissa wanted to say something but trailed off and decided to wait for Freddie to say something before approaching what was on her mind.

Freddie finally spoke breaking the silence "You can tell them I don't want to see them…but only if its necessary"

Marissa didn't respond right away gathering up her courage to approach what was on her mind since he had told them his story of how he got banged up. She had wanted to say something the very moment she heard the words come out of his mouth but she couldn't let herself fall back into her desires and decided to be his mother. She had been thinking about her relationship with Freddie and trying to come up with ways to make things alright again and found that maybe the only way to get through this was to try and forget all that happened as Freddie wanted. Marissa wanted to prove herself to Freddie, she wanted him to know she was his mother again and that they could forget and everything would be alright.

"So you and Carly finally got together huh" Marissa wasn't sure if it was her tone or the fact that Freddie hadn't realized he betrayed a secret but she saw Freddie's body tense and spoke fast to ease he's uneasiness "That's great" she said quickly "But I don't understand why you broke up I thought you liked her?...did she cheat on you because if she did I aught to-"

"Whoa easy mom, it was just a little misunderstanding that's all…I thought you'd be mad when you found out" Freddie admitted turning his gaze back to the window

"Mad? No I'm fine with it as long as you're happy ok?"

"I…yeah" Freddie said uncertainly as he looked at his mother

"Great…I just want you to know that we…" Marissa trailed of uncertain on how to put her thoughts into words "that I'm ok with you dating…with what's been happening lately I just want you to know that I'm happy if you're happy"

"Yeah?" Freddie asked his gaze still on the outside world

"Yeah" Marissa affirmed with a small smile

**Shay Apartment**

It had been two weeks with Freddie being in the hospital, two weeks since either Sam or Carly talked to him or each other, and two weeks since iCarly had been suspended. The tension and the avoiding of each other had finally got to Carly and she couldn't take it anymore so she invited Sam to her house saying they needed to talk about iCarly and Freddie as Sam wasn't talking to her otherwise. Carly left a long apology on Sam's phone for what she had said but Sam hadn't acknowledged her existence but only told her Freddie was in hospital and that was all she'd said to ever since. Concerned for Freddie Carly tried to get Sam to elaborate but Sam had avoided her pretty well and Carly had to resort to asking Mrs. Benson about it and got some details on what had happened but doubted they were the real story. Carly didn't know how to feel with Freddie being badly hurt and being in hospital but what she did feel she felt as though it was her fault he ended up there because of what she said to Sam, she wasn't sure of what really went on but knew some of it was probably her fault.

Sam had agreed to come over though seemed not happy about it, so here they were the three of them; Sam, Carly and Spencer all of whom seemed to have something on their mind as none looked at the other. Sam and Carly had arrived ten minutes ago and neither had said a word to the other since they left the school. Though Spencer wasn't deeply involved Carly could tell he felt some-what guilty for punching Freddie, him sending Freddie a get well soon card from him and her was proof of that but that didn't seem to soothe his guilt. They were not allowed to see him saying he didn't want any visitors, they tried to talk to his mother but she didn't help much saying Freddie needed his rest and would call to them if he wanted to see them but he hadn't called so they were left to let their minds wonder about his recovery.

"Let's go up to the studio we can talk there" Carly said softly breaking the silence of the room

Sam didn't give any response but followed behind her as she walked up the stairs. Sam wasn't mad at Carly but wanted some space and knew once she reconciled with Carly she would want to know what happened with Freddie and she didn't think she could face that just yet. Guilt was eating away at her and she didn't need Carly judging her to make her feel any worse and depressed than she already was. Entering the iCarly studio Sam sighed feeling her depression sink in as this place which held so many good memories made her feel worse about herself and what she did. Sam had been avoiding Carly and the rest of humanity like a plague but she knew she couldn't do it anymore; she needed her best friend and knew Carly needed her as well; they had been friends since as far she could remember and doubted one could exist without the other.

"So what did you want to discuss about iCarly?" Sam asked as she sat herself down

"I don't want to talk about iCarly; I just needed to talk to you" Carly said looking down at the street below as she stood by the window

"Surprise there" Sam said quietly but Carly heard her

"I need you to know that I'm sorry Sam, you haven't taken my calls, you're not talking to me and I don't know what else to do, I just want my best friends back"

"I know"

"No you don't know-"

"Yes I do okay, I… I'm not mad at you I never was; I just needed some time alone for a little while" Sam said in an exasperated voice feeling her emotions tugging at her heart

"Sam what's going on, because I don't know what's going on between all of us" Carly said turning to face Sam

"I don't know Carls, but I want to fix it…let things go back to the way they used to be you know"

"Yeah I know….Friends?" Carly asked looking up to Sam hopefully

"Friends" Sam agreed standing up from the bean bag to give Carly a hug

The hug was nice but both girls were tense knowing it couldn't stay that way for long as they now had to explain both sides of their stories of what happened with Freddie and them. Breaking from their hug they looked into each others eyes wondering how they would go about asking the other what happened. Deciding to end the awkward silence Sam decided to face her actions and hope Carly didn't judge her too harshly.

"I'll go first" Sam announced earning a slight nod from Carly before they both found their seats and prepared themselves for what they knew would be an exhausting talk.

**...**

…**..**

"Jesus Sam you could have killed him" Carly said in a low voice

"I know, and I feel like shit for what I did so don't judge me because I've been kicking myself for it since it happened"

"I- I'm sorry I know you must feel awful…it's my fault really, If I hadn't said all that shit to you, you wouldn't have lost it like that"

"You didn't say anything that wasn't true" Sam admitted out loud her gaze trained to the floor

"I screwed up really though-" Carly said watching Sam shift in her seat uncomfortably "I knew you liked Freddie that way even if you never said it out loud, but I don't know what happened I just started craving him after some stupid dream"

"Craving him?" Sam questioned with an eye brow and small smile

"Yeah *chuckle* I know it's messed up but in a way I had an itch that only he could scratch"

"So you only went out with him for the sex?" Sam asked incredulously

"When you put it that way it sounds worse than it is-"

"And how exactly would you put it" Sam asked her voice raised slightly

"I know how it looks but it wasn't all like that…I mean when we were together I think I actually feel in love with him"

"Oh you think so do you?"

"You could try to be a little more understanding you know"

"I'm sorry but that's a bit hard for me at the moment" Sam said getting up and walking over to the window and looking down to the street below as had the police had when the staking out the video shop.

A long silence fell between the two before being broken by Sam's sigh before she spoke.

"So you love him do you?" Sam asked meeting Carly's eyes

"I …yeah"

"Balls in your court now"

"What?"

"Now that I've told you what happened with me it's your turn"

"*SIGH* right" Carly said quietly.

…**..**

…**.**

**..**

A silence descended over the two once more as Carly finished relaying what happened between her and Freddie from the confrontation at the groovy smoothie and how it end with Spencer tossing him out with a bloody lip. Sam gave out a light chuckle which made Carly give her a bewildered look.

"In all that I have said I can't find anything remotely funny, so please enlighten me on what you find so funny" Carly asked with a frown

"I'm not laughing really, if I was the type of person to cry in a fucked up situation then that's what I would do but I'm not so I'll settle for this little laugh" Sam said meeting Carly's eyes with a sad smile.

"Oh…" Carly said quietly never in their friendship had she seen Sam this way.

"I'll never understand how things got this way, I feel like there is something we are missing here…Freddie changed….why?" Sam said as she stood from the bean bag and made her way over to the window.

"Maybe it's got to do with his mother…"

"Why do you think that?"

"When…*deep breath* when we, me and Freddie were arguing I said something awful about him and his mom and he lost it, then again I could be wrong he is close t her and might have felt a need to defend her" Carly said looking down a her hands

"What exactly did you say?" Sam asked slightly amused

"I asked him if mommy giving him fuck lessons just like everything else; and that one has to wonder what happens during all those tick baths" Carly relayed in a small voice.

"Jesum Christ Carls that was har-" Sam caught herself as she remembered all the things she and Freddie spat at it each other during their argument.

"What is it?" Carly asked as she watched Sam seemed in a daze

"I…I'm not sure but I think we need to talk to Freddie"

"Spencer and I tried to go see him but his mother said he doesn't want any visitors and they won't let anyone through at the hospital"

"Things like that have never stopped me before and I doubt they can stop me now" Sam said with a slightly grim face.

"Do you have a plan?" Carly asked with a small smile

"Yep, were going to need ketchup, a Spencer, a Gibby, a car and a bat" Sam said with a smirk feeling some what good for the first time in ages

**XXX**

**XX**

**X**

"I'm all for being spontaneous and all but would anyone care to tell what we are doing" Spencer asked as he drove towards Seattle medical center

"Were going to a little chat with Fredward" Sam said as she polished a bat

"Uhm your words and the sight of you polishing that bat are not exactly encouraging Sam" Carly said smiling at Spencer's bewildered look

Sam was grinning loving how the bat felt in her arms but her grin fell to a sheepish smile as she looked at Gibby and Spencer's strange looks. With a sigh Sam decided to let them in some what into them plan before Spencer turned them around.

"Okay so here is the plan, when we get to the hospital Spencer and Gibby are going to be a distraction while me and Carly sneak in and see Freddie"

"That doesn't explain the bat and ketchup" Gibby quipped in.

"All in due time Gibby my good man"

"I have a bad feeling about this" Spencer said giving Sam a look through the rear view mirror

The rest of the trip was shared in a silence as they all silently wondered if all would be well when they shut their eyes to sleep tonight, but their thoughts were interrupted as Spencer signaled and pulled into the hospital parking. Under Sam's instructions Spencer circled the parking lot on the look out for Mrs. Benson's car and when they saw it Spencer parked in the row of cars behind it a safe distance away form it.

"Ok what now" Spencer asked as he raised the hand break

"Now we wait Sam said laying back into her seat"

"Whatever you're up to better be over quick, it's already eight thirty and my folks are expecting me home by ten" Gibby said as he sank into his seat getting comfortable.

"What are we waiting for exactly anyway?"Spencer asked feeling a yawn creeping up

"For Freddie's mother, if she's here you can bet your sweet jerky she's in there" Carly said as she looked out through her window

"Sweet jerky?" Sam asked with a snort

"Shut up" Carly said with a slight nervous chuckle feeling her heart quicken

**(Inside)Seattle Medical center**

"So I better get going I'll be back in early tomorrow" Marissa said as she ran her hand through Freddie's hair

"Sure mom drive safely" Freddie said pulling his eyes off the laptop for what felt the first time in ages

"I'm starting to regret bringing you that thing" Marissa said with a small smile

"Regret it or not thank you for bringing it, it helps me stay out of my head"

"I'll be able to bring you home in a couple of days, you'll still have to stay in bed but I'll be there to take care of you"

"That sounds great" Freddie said with a slight frown as he thought of the inevitability of facing his friends

"Are you okay with coming home *pause* because if you still need time I-"

"I want to come home mom"

"Great *pause* well I'll see you tomorrow goodnight Freddie"

"Good night mom" Freddie said as he watched her leave before turning back to his laptop.

Marissa was already dressed in her civilian clothes as she walked over to the nurse's station to bid her work mates? A good night, as she neared she saw a couple of nurses chatting each other up and Ellen idly flipping a pen around her fingers as she stared off into nothing seeming deep in thought. Ellen so deep in thought didn't see Marissa coming but only snapped out of her days when Marissa's words caught her and the other nurses' attention.

"Goodnight" Marissa said to no one in particular but her gaze fixed on Ellen

All the nurses' returned her farewell with the exception of Ellen who only turned lazily to look at her, Ellen's eyes seemingly a light shade of grey as if asking her what she expected to see in her eyes now, Marissa hadn't noticed but her progress towards the door had ceased as she had stopped as if trapped by Ellen's eyes. It was only when Ellen frowned slightly that Marissa broke out of her trance and began walking towards the front exit but had a startled stop before once again making her way out of the hospital. "Good night" she hadn't seen who had said but she was pretty sure it was Ellen or maybe that was her mind playing tricks on her as she hadn't spoke to her former friend outside of hospital related commands, but even through all this reasoning she was pretty sure it was Ellen. What had it meant? Had it even meant anything? Marissa wasn't sure. Marissa shook these thoughts out of her head as she dug into her pockets for her car keys, finally finding them as she reached her car she unlocked her car and was about to get in when a faint sensation of being watched wafted through her making her give her surroundings a quick glance but nothing out of the ordinary could be seen in her bleak surrounding. Shrugging the feeling off she got into her car and prepared to leave.

**Xxx**

"Duck!" Carly hissed urgently causing all the cars occupants to drop lower into their seats

"She's got some instincts doesn't she?" Gibby admired

"Just watch her leave so we can get a move on" Sam said feeling for the ketchup bottles around her feet.

They had been waiting for over an hour and were about to take a rain check when Mrs. Benson had come out digging around her pockets. Gibby and Carly had been watching her and had dropped when she gave the parking lot a once over.

"So you ready to reveal the rest of the plan now?" Spencer said as he walked out of the car giving out a long yawn and stretching his limbs.

"Ok so you guys-" Carly said gesturing to Spencer and Gibby "-Will be the distraction, were going to move to the entrance of the parking lot and wait there while you guys go over to the corner before you turn into the hospital which is going to be where the accident took place, th-"

"What accident?" Gibby asked cutting Carly off.

"The one were going to stage" Sam said walking up to them with the bat and Ketchup.

"Anyways as I was saying, the "accident" will be consist of you Gibby lying on the concrete pavement floor withering in pain and covered in blood aka the ketchup, and you Spencer will go into the hospital in hysterics saying your fat friend has been mugged and badly hurt-"

"Hey who you calling fat?" Gibby defended

"We know your not fat pork chops its just part of the plan" Sam said looking out to the end of the lot seeming either bored or deep in thought.

"Oh-"

"Anyway the nurses will come out, if there's more than one, they'll all come out to carry in your "fat" friend if someone stays you emphasize on the word fat, make sure to get the security to come with you just incase *pause* sounds simple enough right?" Carly asked with a smile.

"Raaaight, so what do we do when the jig is up?" Spencer asked as he stretched in a girly manner making them all grin.

"Get the hell out of there, get to the car and wait for us down the street" Sam said with a smirk

"So are we all clear on the plan?" Carly asked

"Yup" Gibby said getting pumped

"Do you guys know what you're going to say to Freddie?" Spencer asked looking slightly wary

"Not really but we got to see him you know *pause* get the team back together again"

"You tell him from me I'm sorry for what happened, once I get into big brother mode its hard to get out" Spencer said as the four of them made their way down the parking lot.

"Big brother mode? Really?" Sam asked with a snort

"What's wrong with that?"

Sam only laughed and waved him off as she and Carly jogged up so they could get ready for their chance once the diversion took action. Spencer and Gibby watched as their forms faded from view, and continued on their way to begin setting up for the first part of the plan.

"Okay Gibbs, down on the floor shirt off" Spencer motioned as they reached their position.

**Front desk/Nurses station Seattle Medical center**

It was a slow night and what little thoughts that were moving through her mind Ellen didn't bother to look into, these past weeks she had found that thinking too much would lead her to looking into problems that shouldn't be her own. She wasn't sure what had happened some minutes ago when Marissa left for the night and she didn't want to look into it, she had talked to Dr Silberman and he said to back off and that's all there had to be to it, it wasn't her problem anymore or so she kept telling herself. Keeping her mind blank with little thoughts of her children's wellbeing Ellen filed her nails lazily but her progress was halted as a tall distraught young man entered through the door and went down on his knees and screamed with bloodied hands for help. For just a moment Ellen thought she would laugh at this but instinct took over overriding the urge to roll around on the floor and have a cackle at that. The three nurses that were also there with Ellen quickly moved towards Spencer with Ellen in front but before they could reach him he sprung to his feet a bit too dramatically making some of the nurses stop their progress and shrink back as if he were about to whip out a gun. The news were a buzz a few months ago about a guy with a gun going on a rampage at Seattle Grace Hospital and killing everyone he came across because his wife died or something, it may have been months ago but if you work in a hospital its still fresh in your mind.

"Please Help me!, my fat friend he got mugged and there's blood everywhere, I managed to drag him twenty blocks but he's just too fat and I can't do it anymore" Spencer shrieked and mock cried at his last words as if a man on the edge.

"Alright where is your friend?" Ellen asked calmly feeling somewhat curious feeling as if she'd seen this young man before.

"At the corner before you turn into the hospital please let's hurry, and bring everyone because he is really big I don't know how I kept it up for this long"

Spencer led the small posse of nurses and a security guard that was unfortunately around to get caught up in this. The guard let huff as he thought he would have to get his hands dirty lifting some dead bloody guy who had been dragged twenty blocks through the streets, 'disgusting'. Turning the corner at the entrance into the hospital the group saw a collapsed chubby kid looking bloody but what the group failed to see was two girls enter the hospital building. The nurses and guard rushed ahead of Spencer towards Gibby who at hearing the sound of nearing foot steps got up and ran the opposite direction from them. Looking bewildered they all turned to Spencer but as they looked around they found themselves alone and the young man long gone.

"Ah! It's a trap their going to ambush us and kill us in the streets" One nurse screamed and made a break for the hospital

Ellen sighed as she watched the nurse the called paranoid Mandy have a run back to the hospital. The rest of the group made their way back to the hospital thinking this was some sort of prank.

**Xxx**

Freddie lay the laptop to his side as it emitted some music he selected, feeling tired from both the pills they had him taking and his tedious day, switching off the lights in the room Freddie got into his bed and slowly found a comfortable position to sleep in and finally let his eyes shut. Freddie was about to doze when his eyelids were lit with a stream of light but as his eyes snapped open the room was as dark as he had last seen when he closed his eyes and the only sound that could be heard was the music from his laptop but he could feel it something or someone was there looking in his general direction. Here he was in the dark with the unknown and feeling his throat go extremely dry as all the stories and movies of hospitals and all that bleeds in the nights when no one is looking came to mind. The lights snapped on and Freddie felt his heart jump before it relaxed as he saw who had interrupted his slumber but his heart sped up as he truly acknowledged their presence and the fact that Sam had a bat.

"Hey" Carly said uncertainly

T.B.C

**A.N:** Reviews are always welcome, and for any mistakes let me know and I'll fix em right up.

3ohE


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**Love-….**

**Note**:** The chapter is a bit short but it's better than nothing I hope. If you reviewed thank you, and Julefor hope you like the shower scene.**

"Hey" Freddie returned uncertainly looking from one girl to the other.

Those were the only words spoken between the three as eyes met each other and speech fell away form their lips. Looking from Carly's shy expression to Sam's anxious expression Freddie decided he would wait for them to speak first as he wasn't sure if what he would say might set off a bad reaction.

"So you look better than the last time I saw you" Sam said finally breaking the silence though hating that it came out ruder than she had meant it, but as far as she could see Freddie didn't notice or just didn't care.

"Her first words to me since she beat me within an inch of my life, you believe her?" Freddie said with a short chuckle as he tried to ease the tension in the room. That seemed to do the trick as Sam gave off a large sigh and let herself plop down on a seat near Freddie's bed while Carly opted to lean against the wall next to the door and facing Freddie straight ahead.

"So if you're here together like this I guess you two have made up and swapped stories" Freddie said quietly

"Yeah" Carly confirmed Freddie's suspicion

"So what now" Freddie asked laying back into his bed and staring up at the ceiling

"You tell us Freddie, time for you to share your side of the story" Sam said looking directly at him

"I have no story to tell" Freddie said lightly with a small smile not meeting Sam's eyes.

"The story where you tell us what's happening or happened between you and your mother"

Freddie visibly tensed as the words left Sammie's mouth but continued to look aimlessly at the ceiling yet his mind racing to find a solution to his current predicament. Freddie was not a person with the best of social skills but he knew ways to get around people when its needed, not that he had needed to in the past but now was a situation where manipulating his words to get out of a situation was not a last resort.

"I see so you came here to mock me further huh" Freddie said causing Carly to wince

"No we were just wondering because you've been acting strange and-"

"I've been acting strange?, your one to talk Carly one minute your fighting off my feeling for you with a stick the next you want me inside you" Freddie said bitterly meeting Carly's eyes for the briefest of moments noticing a slight blush on her face. He didn't mean it but he needed to derail the train that led to the conversation about his mother.

"Chill out Fredward were just trying to figure out what's-" Sam said trying to calm the situation down but was cut off.

"Ah lets not forget dear Sammie who almost killed me for reasons I'm still not clear on" Freddie said looking directly at Sam who fell silent and looked away unable to meet his eyes.

Sam grit her teeth as she felt her guilt revive itself and bubble in her chest, she had felt better since she told Carly what happened but now that she looked at the object of her guilt she just couldn't stand his eyes. Flashes of his swollen a bloody face flashed in her mind making her shut her eyes for the briefest moment as she blocked it out. For what felt like an eternity the trio stood none looking at another in silence before Freddie spoke again, this time in a gentler and calmer manner.

"These past months it's been seeming like all you two want to do is hurt me, which is why I didn't want you coming here yet I just wanted a little time so for the moment I'd really prefer it if you left me alone, then we can talk and sort everything out when I get out of here"

"When are they letting you out of here?" Carly asked quietly

"Mom said in a couple of days"

"Its funny I had a plan all thought out on what we'd do and what I'd say once we were in here but it seems all that crap just went to shit when we came in here" Sam said quietly not really talking to anyone in particular just thinking out loud perhaps.

"Yes it seems all the crap went to shit" Carly repeated with a giggle

"How did you guys get in here anyway" Freddie asked arching an eyebrow

"It doesn't matter right now, anyway I have something to say" Sam said getting up from the chair and moving towards Freddie until she was at his bedside.

"Okay" Freddie said uncertainly

"I'm sorry for what I did to you, I mean I'm not losing any sleep over it or anything but I just thought you needed to hear it" Sam hoped it didn't sound too emotional being one not to apologize often.

"Never held it against you, but thanks apology accepted" Freddie said with a small smile as he looked up at her.

"There you go again saying those kinds of things" Carly said with a huff.

"What?"

"She beat you up and you say you never held it against her, what's that supposed to mean"

"It means you guys are my friends and I know you would never intentionally hurt me"

That seemed enough for Carly as she gave him a slight smile but she knew it couldn't be that easy there were things that needed to be said before they could all hold hands and sing kumbaya but she didn't have the energy nor courage to say what needed to be said. She and Freddie had a brief relationship which came with sex, not to mention Sam had somewhat confessed her love for Freddie, all of this was clear in all their minds but none of them had the courage to open up that can of worms.

"So how are you feeling" Carly asked as she joined the two at Freddie's bedside opposite Sam.

"I feel nothing, with all the pain meds I took I'm surprised I'm not unconsciously drooling right now *chuckle*"

Silence filled the room once more as Freddie's chuckle died down into a sigh; the silence didn't seem to be minded though as both girls seemed to be lost in their own thoughts. Freddie guessed they were wondering what to talk about now that he had steered the conversation away from what they had come to confront him about, though their visit was not expected or wanted he was glad they were here because truth be told he had missed them. Freddie wasn't sure when it happened as he himself had was lost in his own thoughts but both girls had their hands on his, he could feel Carly stroking his palm softly and Sam's hand feeling slightly moist making him smile unconsciously. The trio was so lost in their moment that none heard the approaching footsteps.

"I knew I'd seen that idiot from somewhere" Ellen said breaking them out of their Rivera.

Both girls tore their hands away and faced Ellen with nervous stares yet not entirely focusing on her, Carly's eyes flickered to Sam as she replayed Sam's hands on Freddie and though unconsciously Sam did the same. Looking at the site before her Ellen couldn't help but smile at how innocent it all seemed and decided she wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

"Visiting hours are over, I'll give you five minutes to say your goodbyes" Ellen said before moving out of the room and shutting the door behind her.

"Well I guess we should get going"

"Yeah" Carly affirmed softly as they both turned to look at Freddie

"Well I guess this is good night" Freddie stated

"Yeah, good night" Sam said as she bent down towards Freddie as if to give him a kiss, she stopped a few centimeters from his face. She cracked a grin a she saw Freddie take a nervous gulp, before Freddie could say a word Sam brought up her arm and raffled his hair before letting out a laugh.

"Thought I was going to kiss you didn't you" Sam said as she cackled in laughter

"N-no-" Freddie tried to refute but settled for a frown as Sam all but grinned at him.

"Goodnight Freddie…and I'm sorry" Carly said whispering the last part before giving him a peck (kiss) on the cheek

"Right, I'll see you in a couple of days"

"Oh by the way Spencer says his sorry for punching-" Carly was cut of as Freddie waved her off it.

The girls gave him one last glance before retreating the way they had come and silently left his room, Freddie felt slightly sad from their departure; things may have had a rocky start when they had come in but it was a lighter air at their last moments. For the first time since he had imagined going back to the plaza Freddie felt like things were going to be okay.

…**..**

**..**

**.**

Sam and Carly walked silently as Elle followed up behind them with a small smile as she escorted them outside the hospital premises, Ellen silently wondered if she had walked into a love triangle back there. Ellen laughed silently and bitterly as she thought you could call quadrangle not that either of these girls knew or could imagine of what Freddie has been through, Ellen ceased her thoughts as they came up to the entrance.

"Your Freddie's closest friend's right?" Ellen directed at both girls and got slow curious nods. "Well when he's released he's moving back to the plaza soon, so you two take care of him ok?"

"What do you mean take care of him?" Carly asked with a small frown

"Not sex if you thought that's what I meant"

"Oh… but still why would Freddie need us to take care of him, he's got his mother right?"

"Sometimes a mother's love can be a bit much, so you two spend as much time with him as you can ok?"

"A mother's can be a bit much? I-" Carly tried to follow up with a question but Ellen was already walking away.

Carly turned back to Sam and they silently made their way towards the rendezvous point they had agreed upon earlier.

**Ridgeway High School**

"So they finally let you see Freddie huh?" Shane asked as he took a bite of his sandwich

"I guess you could say that" Carly said with a small smile as she modestly took a bite of her own sandwich

"So how is he?!" Malika asked causing Shane to choke on his sandwich and simultaneously fall off his seat

"Look I love *cough* a magic trick a- *cough* as much as the next guy but you can't go springing into peoples conversations like that Malika!" Shane complained as he collected himself off the floor.

"I'm sorry but I was just teleporting by when I caught a bit of your conversation and I couldn't help myself"

"Nutt job" Gibby murmured

"Teleporting? That's your excuse for eavesdropping" Sam remarked with a snort.

"So how is he?"Malika continued ignoring Sam's comment

"He's fine, should be out in some days" Carly answered with an impartial dazed face instead of a frown which was what her mood dictated. Carly had apologized to Malika for what happened at groovy smoothie even though she never got an explanation for why they were together that day, but after what happened she just didn't care.

"That's great maybe we should throw him a welcome back party or something" Shane suggested.

"Yeah that's a great idea; after weeks all by himself in that hospital, seeing his friends might be the best medication for him"

Silence loomed over the group as they looked towards Sam and Carly for affirmation but both girls seemed to be in their own far of worlds. Taking a break from his lunch Gibby sighed and nudged Sam in the ribs breaking her from her trance.

"Wha- What?" Sam asked looking at the fixed stares.

"What's up with you two you've been this way since you got back yesterday?" Gibby questioned

"Oh it's nothing just a bit sleepy. So what was your idea?" Sam asked recovering from her daydreaming

"A welcome back party for Freddie"

"Sounds good, what do you think Carls?"

"That nurse did ask us to spend much time with him when he gets back so it's a great idea, I'll run it past his mother later"

"Since I'm coming over to hang and all I guess I'll go with you" Sam said meeting Carly eyes.

"Sure".

**Seattle Medical Center**

Marissa slowly made her way into the female nurses locker room, it had been a long day and all she wanted to do right now was to go home to her warm bed, crawl in and die in it. Ellen's good night last night had turned out to be nothing but a formal farewell as she hadn't acknowledged her when she greeted her when she arrived to begin her shift. It might have been a long shot but Marissa had hoped that yesterday's goodnight would be today's good morning and which would gradually revert to their old ways but she had indeed looked into the whole thing too much. She couldn't let go off the hope she held that one day Ellen would find a way to come to terms with what happened and find a way to forgive and be her friend again, because these days were the loneliest days she'd had in a long time.

Feeling tired and somewhat sticky Marissa headed for the showers to wash away the day's labor before going to see Freddie. After promptly removing her clothes Marissa picked a shower head furthest from the shower room entrance and gladly let the hot water rain over her naked body. Feeling relived instantly Marissa lost herself in the hot water caressing her body and for the first time in weeks she just let go.

"A hot shower is all the difference after these long days isn't it" Ellen commented watching Marissa's relaxed face.

"Uh-" breaking out of her daze Marissa was about to reply but thought better of it.

Broken out of her daze Marissa didn't enjoy the shower as much and that was enough to stop her dwindling so she began to cleanse her body of all the hospitals impurities she might have picked up.

"I read Freddie's file he was cleared to go home-" Ellen commented with a pause "three days ago…why haven't you taken him home"

"Just thought a few more days here wouldn't hurt"

"Do you expect me to buy that excuse?"

"I don't expect anything from you, you've made it clear where you and I stand" Marissa said as she worked on her hair, her back towards Ellen who had also started her own shower head.

"Well forgive me if my reaction to the shit you do in private wasn't joy, now quit avoiding my question" Ellen replied

"I'm not avoiding anything, you wouldn't accept any answer I gave you because I already know what you think and want to hear" Marissa returned.

"And what exactly might that be?"

"You think I'm going to fall back on my old ways as soon as I'm alone with him" Marissa said through gritted teeth feeling as though something was stuck in her chest.

"I won't deny it, its been running through my mind since Silberman told me to back off, but I get the feeling that I'm not entirely wrong"

"Screw you I'm tired of walking on egg shells around you, its either you take him away from me or just shut hell up about the situation, I'm his mother and I'll do whatever is good for him" Marissa returned with clenched fists as she turned to look Ellen in the eye.

"Hey I wish I didn't know about this mess but I just want to make sure you don't fuck your son again" Ellen said raising her voice to match Marissa's.

"I would never-"

"-What, never what? Fuck your son? Because you already have!" Ellen snapped

Marissa's body was moving before her brain had caught up; she lunged at Ellen with a fist cocked running full sprint. Ellen stunned by Marissa's sudden attack was glued to her spot and would have been on the receiving end of a fist but as Marissa neared she slipped sending her flying towards Ellen, causing her to tackle Ellen to the floor. Ellen released a gasp as her back made contact with the floor breaking her out of her trance, bringing arms up Ellen pushed Marissa's shaking body to the side before rolling over and straddling her wanting to relive her own furry and stress that had been building throughout this entire situation. Once on top of her Ellen felt all her anger leave her, she sighed as hot water pelted down on the two of them and even with the water raining on them Ellen could see the tears as they streamed out of Marissa's eyes.

"You don't know how its like to love your son so much and all you want to do is protect him from all that could do him harm in this world….but what do you do when you are the problem. You want to know why? Why I haven't taken him home." Marissa asked in a cracking shaky voice.

Ellen could only nod as she stared down at Marissa feeling trapped in a hopeless situation, for once as she looked down at Marissa she saw a broken and helpless woman she was instead of the sick desperate cry baby who wanted too keep her toy, which is all she had seen since she had taken Freddie from her the day she had walked in on them.

"I'm scared, I'm so scared I don't know what to do anymore, I can't even touch him without him flinching or tensing up. I'm afraid I might do it to him again, what if I can't stop myself Ellen?" Marissa said looking away and no longer trying to hold back her emotions as she let her voice accompany her tears.

Feeling just as defeated as Marissa, Ellen got off her and plopped down next to Marissa her eyes unfocused and in a daze. Ellen looked to her side where Marissa was now in a fetal position still crying, Ellen brought her arms around Marissa and gently lifted her up too look at her.

"I'm sorry, I guess I've also had trouble dealing with this and you were my only exit hole. Whatever happens I'll be here to help you through it" Ellen said with a sad smile.

Marissa wasn't sure what had changed but right now feeling as vulnerable as she did, she just didn't care. With a sad smile of her own Marissa got up and embraced Ellen but continued to cry into her shoulder. Ellen held Marissa as best she could and prayed that no one walked into the shower, but luck didn't seem to be on her side as paranoid Mandy walked into the shower. Ellen sighed as the girls eyes went wide as saucers.

"Oh, uh I'll come back later" Mandy said before making a curt exit.

Marissa's tears had left and she was sniffling as she gave a mental sigh when she looked for the source for the new voice and she saw a toweled Mandy made an abrupt exit.

"Great, as if they didn't think we were a Lesbian couple enough as is." Ellen said with a sigh

There was a brief silence which was broken by Marissa's giggles.

"What's so funny?" Ellen asked raising an eyebrow at the naked woman in her arms.

"Well we aren't exactly giving them any evidence against it now are we, two single women in their 40s sitting in the showers naked in each others arms" Marissa spoke in-between laughs.

**Xx**

Mandy was sitting down next to her locker in deep thought over what she just saw but her bewilderment was broken as she heard both Ellen and Marissa's laughs coming from the showers. She sighed deciding to go take a shower at home than risk entering the shower room again with those two lunatics in there.

T.B.C

**A.N:** Reviews are always welcome, and for any mistakes let me know and I'll fix em right up.

3ohE


	13. Chapter 13

**Trying to Mend**

**Seattle Medical Center**

'Today is the day' that was the thought Freddie repeated to himself over and over again hoping that it would sink in and calm his racing heart, but that was easier said than done. Today is the day I get to go home' Freddie thought to himself as he took a calming breath, 'today is the day that everything goes back to normal' with that last thought Freddie sighed and opened his eyes to see Ellen standing at the door watching him fixedly but she broke into a smile when he looked up at her.

"How are you feeling" she asked as she walked over to him

"Pretty good actually and I'm not on any of the pain medication" Freddie answered trying to seem positive

"That's good to hear, are you ready to go home?" Ellen asked with a small smile

Freddie gave a mental sigh as he truly felt the weight of that question; he'd been asking himself that exact question ever since his mother told him he would be moving back in with her, and truth is he wasn't sure he was. Up until now he'd been trying to play it cool and leave facts and negative thoughts at the back of his mind but now there was no room for avoidance, he is going back home and he'll have to face Sam Carly and Spencer and he wasn't sure he could just play everything off as misunderstandings. He wanted it all to go back to normal but now it started to sink in that things might never be normal between any of them ever again. He'd had sex with Carly and he wasn't sure where they stood right now and Sam had confessed to him and he threw it back in her face, he'd have better luck building a time machine than everything just going back to normal.

"Tch No I'm not but I guess I have to be, I can't runaway forever" Freddie finally answered her after a long pause

"For a kid your age you sure handle things well Freddie" Ellen said giving his shoulder a squeeze.

Freddie gave her a small nod before Ellen got up and left the room, he had a few more minutes to himself before his mother got off work and would come pick him up so he started to gather up his things. Sliding his jacket on Freddie turned his attention to his laptop as it gave a sound; Freddie gave a small sigh with a smile as he was able to fix some glitches in the iCarly site which had been caused by a large number of traffic on the site during their time off the air. Freddie was glad most of their fans had stayed true to the site and were waiting for them to come back online, but even so Freddie wondered if they were ever going to come back on, or even when they did would he be behind the camera. Freddie sighed audibly.

"Are you okay Freddie?" Marissa asked as Freddie hadn't even noticed her come in.

Freddie felt his body automatically tense as his mother reached out to him but he quickly forced himself to relax, he had seen his mothers hurt face every time it happened so he was trying to keep it down to a minimum but sometimes it couldn't be helped. Letting out a calming breath Freddie let his mother feel his forehead.

"I'm fine just thinking" Freddie replied removing her hand from his forehead

"What's on your mind?" Marissa asked as she hoisted up Freddie's bag

"Everything" Freddie said with a sad smile "I can carry my stuff you know, it doesn't even hurt at all anymore"

"And I'd like to keep it that way" Marissa returned

Once they had everything they slowly made their way out of the hospital, as he walked along side with his mother Freddie could feel his heart slowly start to thump louder and louder in his chest. 'Today is the day' he kept repeating the mantra over and over in his head but no matter how many times it rang out in his head, he knew deep down he didn't believe it.

**Shay apartment**

Flipping her phone shut Carly turned to the congregation of friends present and let a smile stretch out into a grin, after receiving a call from Freddie's mother it was time to get everybody ready for Freddie's surprise welcome back party.

"Alright everybody I just got a call from Freddie's mom their ten minutes away, so let's put on some smiles and get ready"

"Let's do this" Gibby said with a fist pump

"Alright everybody head up to the roof and get cozy, we'll be up as soon as Freddie's a bit settled in. I'll text Gibby to give everybody the heads up when were coming up ok?" Sam said but not waiting for a reply she began ushering people out the apartment and they all filed out heading for the Bushwell plaza roof.

It hadn't taken much to convince Mrs. Benson to agree with giving Freddie some excitement after being cooped up in the hospital for weeks. Looking at the backs of their schoolmates and friends Sam felt nervous as it finally set in that Freddie was coming back and that there'd be no avoiding what had happened between them. She knew there'd be no escaping or avoiding the fact that she had in a some what twisted way revealed her feelings for him and if that wasn't enough she had beat him up badly when he had rejected her. Had he rejected her? She wasn't sure it was all a sheer blur. There was no time to think of those kind of things now, it was Freddie's welcome back party and the resume of iCarly as well, with them being off the air for so long; a party and a web cast would be just what they needed to get things back to normal, or as normal as they could in this situation.

"You alright Sam?" Spencer asked on his way out of the apartment with a tray of snacks

"Yeah" Sam said with a sigh "Let's get this show on the road"

**On the way**

"Carly, Sam and Spencer wanted to welcome you back so I told them we were on our way" Marissa told Freddie sneaking a glance at him while keeping her eyes on the road

"Oh" was all Freddie said

"Aren't you excited to see them again? It's been weeks since you've seen them"

"Feels like its been only a few days" Freddie said with a small smile playing his lips

The two fell into a slight silence a while before it was broken once again by Marissa

"Do you want to talk about what really happened between you and Sam?"

"I already told you what happened between me and Sam" Freddie said noncommittally as he stared out the window at the passing scenery.

"You told us what supposedly happened but we didn't really talk about it"

"I don't know what you want from me" Freddie said with a sigh

"I just want you to talk to me, you always take it all on your self and I want you to know that I'm here for you"

"Since when…" Freddie mumbled but was pretty sure his mother caught it.

"I guess now isn't the right time for a talk anyway" Marissa said quietly "We'll talk about everything later, for now just try to forget and put on a smile for your friends"

Freddie half nodded as Marissa brought the car to a stop, they had arrived and he felt more apprehensive than ever but like his mother said he had to put on a smile for Carly and Sam. They unloaded the small luggage that Freddie had with him and Freddie slowly followed behind his mother as they made their way towards the basement elevator. It was a short ride up to their floor which wasn't much of a surprise as people tended to stay in doors on Sundays, which kept the elevators clear. Freddie felt himself tense up as the elevator doors opened to see Carly and Sam waiting for him and for a moment he wasn't sure how to proceed but his lack of movement was broken as his mother gave him a slight shove causing him to stumble out of the elevator. Freddie looked back at his mother with a slight frown before turning back to face Carly and Sam, the latter seemingly looking anywhere but him; which brought a smile to his face.

"Hey" Carly said with a smile

"Sup" Sam said coolly though clearly uncomfortable

"Hey" Freddie returned

Grabbing the bag Freddie was carrying Marissa said "I'll get your stuff unpacked, you go with your friends"

Marissa didn't give Freddie a chance to argue as she walked past him and swiftly entered their apartment leaving Freddie to sort things out by himself. Giving an inward sigh Freddie walked up to Carly and Sam, it was weird the three of them standing there saying nothing but after all they had done to each other they didn't expect to be chumming it out.

"How do you feel?" Carly asked a nervous smile playing her lips

"Oh you know as good as you can after all that's been going on" This said his hands in his pockets and a slight nodding off his head

"Well it's good to have you back" Sam said with an uncertain smile

"Good to be back" Freddie said returning their smiles feeling like things wouldn't be so bad.

"Great now come with us we've got a surprise for you"

Before Freddie could argue Carly grabbed his hand and was already leading him towards the stairs, Sam let Carly and Freddie have the lead and followed them from behind. Sam glanced at Carly and Freddie's intertwined hands, she knew it meant nothing and shouldn't have even registered with her but was unable to help herself as these kinds of things just seemed to happen without her control. She knew how things would turn out, right now they would probably have a good time at the party with their friends but after everyone was gone and they were alone the silence would grow and there would be no way to get around talking about all the crap that happened. Sam gave a silent sigh as in the split second she had been gathering her thoughts the memory of her trying to kiss Freddie played through her mind, the look in his eyes as he pushed her away and taste of bile shared between them still fresh in her mind. No matter how damaged the memory; it was still a kiss and she couldn't shake it. Sam reached into her pockets and was quick with a text to Gibby that they were on their way up

"So what's the surprise and why are we heading for the roof?" Freddie asked trying to act natural though resisting the urge to wrench his hand away from Carly. Contact had become a taboo, the slightest touch sent shivers down his spine but not with negative feelings but the erotic type that sent his body down a road he didn't desire anymore.

"It won't be a surprise if we tell and the surprise is on the roof"

Freddie could laugh at how far he'd come, it was only a few months ago that thoughts of a sexual experience were welcomed but now such thoughts he couldn't stand, but a part of him couldn't help but latch on to all and any type of sexual thoughts. Such little touches like the one Carly was giving him, though making him extremely uncomfortable were welcomed by another part of him which caused his body to respond lustfully even with the smallest of touches. He was pained by the looks he's mother would give him each time he would flinch from her touch but it was all he could do to keep the lustful and disgusting thoughts away.

"Fine, fine" Freddie mumbled

They had reached the last final steps when Carly stepped aside and let go of Freddie but held out her hand towards the door suggesting for Freddie to enter first. Slightly relieved from the lack of contact Freddie walked up to the door and pushed it open.

"SURPRISE!" A collective scream was declared

Freddie had to squint as the glare from the sky hit his eyes and slowly as his eyes adjusted to the light, with that a smile worked its way to his face. There with beaming smiles and happy faces his friends awaited him, Freddie didn't know how much he had missed his friends until that moment.

"Guys…" Freddie silently breathed out

"Well what do you think….are you surprised?" Sam said as she came up behind him

"I don't know what to say, I can't believe you did this for me" Freddie said giving Sam and Carly a grateful smile

Feeling a slight blush coming on Sam tried to play their efforts for him down "It's not like we had anything better to do, so it's not a big deal"

"Oh come-on Sam don't so be modest this was all her idea" This coming from Shane who sported himself an evil grin enjoying the riled up look on Sam's face

"It was a team effort" Gibby said joining the group and giving Freddie a slight squeeze on the shoulder

Noticing his iCarly video camera in Gibby's hand Freddie gave him a slight smile but a curious look at what he was doing with his tech, the thought of iCarly going on without him had made sense when he thought about it but seeing it Freddie couldn't help but feel a little hurt by it.

Noticing Freddie's questioning look Gibby gave him a grin before thrusting the camcorder into his arms, which was greeted by Freddie giving him a puzzled look. Freddie could tell he was missing something as no one was talking anymore but only looking towards him.

"Okay guys what's going on?" Freddie turned to see Carly and Sam fitting on their microphones and the sound controller in Sam's hands.

"Well to make this even better we thought it would be a great time to go back on the air, I mean iCarly wasn't iCarly without you" Carly explained

"Wait, what? A heads up might have been appreciated, I don't even know what-"

Cutting Freddie off in an exasperated tone Sam said "Yeah, yeah just leave it to us you just do your job, which is to point and shoot"

"But-"

"Were on in 30 seconds so get ready" Carly said giving Freddie no room to argue

Giving up on getting himself ready for the show Freddie scanned the room for his tech stand and that was all he could do before getting the signal that they were on in 5.

"4, 3, 2, 1 and were on" Freddie said feeling himself back in his element where all your life's crap didn't quite matter.

"Hi I'm Sam"

"And I'm Carly"

"And this is iCarly!" Their friends joining in the last bit making it extra loud.

**...**

**...**

**...**

**...**

**...**

"Well thanks for coming it was good to see you"

The webcast had gone off without a hitch and the festivities were now at a close. Freddie needn't be told what now had to follow; the façades were now to fall and the talks now to be had. It seemed the unsaid message passed between the three of them as both Sam and Carly seemed to tense as he had when the last of their guests bid them farewell.

"Well that's everybody" Carly said turning away from the last departing guest.

There was a slight silence but Spencer spared the trio having to think up something to say "You guys head down stairs I'll help Freddie get the stand into the elevator"

"Alright" Carly said uncertainly as she turned making her way down stairs and Sam silently following after her.

Freddie turned to Spencer guessing this would be the first of the talks he would have today.

"So" Freddie said uncertainly

"We need to talk about what happened…"

"We really don't have to"

"Yes we do…I didn't exactly handle things well" Spencer said sounding abashed.

"I… we should have talked to you about it, I may not have any siblings but I know you were just looking out for your little sister"

"Even still I could have handled it better, so I'm sorry" Spencer paused seeming to collect his thoughts "But we'll have to talk about it. You me and Carly together"

Freddie let his gaze wonder down to his shoes and nodded though mentally cringing at the thought of the coming talk Spencer wanted to have.

"Alright then I guess you should go talk to Sam and Carly they seemed to want a piece of you too" Spencer joked lightly "And don't worry about the equipment I'll get it."

Knowing that procrastinating his talk with Carly and Sam was useless; Freddie made his way down to the shay apartment via the elevator. Watching the doors split apart he let a neutral facial expression rest on his features before walking into the apartment.

"I thought you were bringing down the equipment with Spencer?" Carly asked from her seated position on the couch

"He didn't want me straining myself when I just got out of the hospital" He said coming to stand behind the couch "Where's Sam?"

"She's up stairs, we did rock paper scissors to see who got to talk to you first" Carly said giving him a small nervous smile "She's waiting for you"

Freddie gave her a slight nod before turning to walk upstairs, he silently wondered if Sam had won or lost the game to be the first one up. Freddie wasn't too enthusiastic on his way up the stairs but before he knew it he was in front of the iCarly studio and knew there wouldn't be no turning back now. He stepped into the room exhaling the product of a calming breath; Sam was sitting on one of the bean bags turned away from him.

"Hey" Freddie said uncertainly as he walked up next to her.

"Hey" Sam said apprehensively as she watched him take a seat on the other bean bag next to her.

There was a silence between them that stretched as neither said a word; Freddie stared on ahead but watched Sam fidget from the corner of his eyes. He could see she was terribly uncomfortable and once in a while she looked as though she was about to say something but didn't. This entire situation was his fault so Freddie broke the silence, never knowing what to say until the words hung in the air between them.

"I'm sorry Sam" His head was down cast to spare himself her reactions. "I know I messed things up between the three of us"

Sam didn't say anything for a few minutes not sure what to make of Freddie's words, he had offered her a way out without having to take up part of the blame that was so rightly hers. She wanted to take the easy way out and blame it on him but that wasn't how it was and not how she worked.

"It would be so easy to agree with you but this whole thing could be my fault" Sam said her voice soft and low, she continued before Freddie could retort "I said some things to Carly that made her doubt you, which probably led to you breaking up"

Freddie let out a breath "I was the one with the odd behavior so it's not all on you, and going to your house in the middle of the night didn't exactly help things"

"Why did you" Sam asked suddenly perking up

"Why did I what"

"Come to my house in the middle of the night" Sam said now starring directly at Freddie.

"I didn't mean to come to your house, I just sort of ended up there you know" Freddie's voice was heavy, his eyes never leaving the floor but he felt Sam's gaze.

"Why were you running around in the middle of the night anyway?" Sam asked somewhat amused

"I just needed a little air and went for a run but things didn't go as planned" Freddie said with a small smile as he remembered his run

"What happened?" Sam asked interested

"I don't know how but I ended up outside the residential area and just as I was about to turn back, a psycho hobo hops out of the bushes and makes a run at me all crazy like and well needless to say I ran. And in all that excitement I ended up at yours and thought I'd say hi and well, you know the rest"

Freddie grinned and shook his head as he listened to Sam's laughter fill the room, lifting his face for the first time he gave her a look but was quick to cast his it away from her upon seeing her. Sam had slid to the floor as she laughed but her top had been pulled up by the bean bag's reluctance to let her go revealing her smooth belly.

"That seems like something that would happen to you" Sam said collecting herself oblivious to Freddie's slight blush "Why did you need air in the middle of the night anyway, did something happen between you and those people" Sam asked not remembering who Freddie had been staying with.

"No I just couldn't sleep and the bed wasn't very comfortable" Freddie said starting to wonder about Sam's line of questioning

"What happened between you in your mom?" Sam asked bluntly tired of beating about the bush

"Where are you going with this Sam? I thought you wanted to talk but it seems like I'm being interrogated" Freddie said defensively feeling his heart go from sixty to a hundred and twenty in a mere second.

Sam winced at his tone but continued "When we were at my house the time I…the time I…"Sam fell quite as she couldn't bring herself to say it.

Freddie knew exactly what time Sam was talking about but her inability to say it and her crest fallen face let him know she felt guilty over what she had done. He never held it against her but he needed to get her away from looking too close to him and his mother's relationship.

"The time you gave me a broken nose and two fractured ribs?" Freddie said bluntly staring directly at her.

Sam looked up from the floor to meet Freddie's eyes, which stared at her blankly. "I…I never meant to do that to you" Sam said her voice breaking slightly.

Freddie watched Sam get up and walk away from him and move to the window looking down to the once suspicious video shop. He noted she was trembling slightly. Freddie got up and walked over to her, he stood behind her but she didn't acknowledge his presence. Freddie took a deep steadying breath before grabbing Sam's shoulder giving them an encouraging squeeze.

"I know Sam; I never held it against you" Freddie whispered into her ear

"How can you not, I hurt you so badly Freddie" She said taking in a deep pained breath "I had to scrub your blood off my knuckles Freddie" She finished her voice distant as though she was miles away

Freddie watched feeling numb as two tears made sport racing down Sam's face, he had been the one who had been beat up but he knew looking back on the events must eat her up more than it did him. Sam didn't show much emotion but Freddie could see through her stone crafted face that she was in much pain over it. Freddie wasn't sure what he could say to her to make it right with her ignoring his words telling her it didn't matter.

Sam turned to face him abruptly, surprising Freddie "I'm sorry Freddie...i…just-"

Freddie saved her from her stuttered speech bringing her into her a tight hug, before whispering into her ear

"Its okay Sam I forgive you" bringing her out of the embrace he let her eyes find his before making sure she understood him "I forgive you, okay?" Freddie watched her nod numbly before bringing her into a hug once more.

"At this rate things will never get back to normal" Freddie joked releasing Sam from his embrace

"Your delusional if you think you've ever been normal" Sam said her voice small but hopeful

"Well normal as we can get then" Freddie said with a pause "Feeling better?"

"Yeah thanks..."

"Anytime"

A silence began to build as both occupants of the room didn't say anything, Freddie was about to suggest he talk to Carly no when Sam spoke

"Hey Freddie"

"Yeah?" He asked but knew he would regret it.

"About the kiss-" Sam tried to get out but Freddie cut her off

"We don't have to talk about it" Freddie said for the second time that day but knew that it was a lie.

"I do"

"Okay" Freddie allowed

Sam was quiet for a while searching for the right words to say, all too aware of Freddie's arms around her. Since when was she such a girl Sam silently wondered as she let her forehead rest against Freddie's chest, she would slap herself if she didn't feel so vulnerable at the moment. Taking a breath Sam brought her face up to catch Freddie's eyes with her own.

"I never meant for things to end up the way they did-" Sam began but Freddie cut her off

"I think we already covered that" Freddie said his eyes taking a quick glimpse at her soft lips

"Let me finish" Sam said hurriedly breaking eye contact when she noticed his eyes catch her lips "I never meant for the kiss to happen… but it did and…"

Looking on with interest for her next words Freddie encourage her as she trailed off "And?"

"And it made me realize something" Sam said meeting his eyes once more

"What's that?" Freddie asked feeling his throat go dry

"That ever since we shared our first kiss, I've…I've had fe-elings for you" Sam said squeaking the last part out.

*Silence*

Freddie nodded dumbly. What else could he do, he hadn't expected this.

Seemingly unburdened by his silence Sam continued "Its okay you don't have to say anything or feel obligated to tell me how you feel, I just needed you to know how I felt"

Sam slowly pushed away from Freddie with a shudder as his hands trailed from her back to the sides of her stomach. "I'm sure Carly is going mad right about now so I should let her know its her turn" Sam said walking past Freddie heading for the door.

"Sam" Freddie called out making her stop hand on the door knob.

"Yeah" She said hoarsely

Freddie hesitated a moment "About me and my mom…, I moved out because I didn't want to take tick baths anymore and well you know how dramatic my mom can be"

"Yeah your mom's crazy" Sam said bluntly though never turning to look at him before slipping out of the room to call up Carly.

Freddie sighed as he watched Sam leave the room not really sure if she bought his excuse or not but slightly relived to have given her an excuse she didn't poke into. Freddie looked up at the clouding sky that seemed to resemble his life; Sam just admitted she had feelings for him and didn't even give him room to respond. If she had wanted a response what would he have said? Freddie didn't know but for now it didn't matter he would think on it later. He could hear slow steps coming up the stairs and he wanted to run, but knew running wouldn't do him any good.

T.B.C

**A.N:** Sorry for taking so long with the update but I had to get my falling social life back up before I lost touch with all my friends. Anyway I'll have another chapter up soon enough I hope. Reviews are always welcome, and for any mistakes let me know and I'll fix em right up.

3ohE


	14. Chapter 14

**Sexsomnia**

The conversation with Sam lay heavy on Freddie but he continuously shifted his thoughts preparing for his follow up meeting with Carly. He was nervous about the talk, and he feared Carly's ability to see through him. Still he wasn't going to run away, so here he stood waiting for Carly.

He heard footfalls on the stairs

The footfalls slowed as they reached the door, and Freddie stood motionless as he waited for Carly to enter. She didn't, she continued to stand behind the door.

Freddie could only wonder if she was as nervous as he was to have the conversation. The moment ticked by and just as Freddie was about to speak Carly stepped in. She closed the door behind her but remained where she was. Freddie noted how vulnerable she looked but couldn't shake how beautiful she looked at the same time. It would get awkward pretty fast if neither of them moved so Freddie broke the silence.

"Hey" he said walking and dropping on a bean bag.

"Hey" she returned tracking his movement but unmoving herself.

"Sam left?"

"Yeah, said she needed a little air"

"I don't think she'll be coming back" Freddie said

"Did you guys have another fight?" Carly asked biting her lip with worry

"No, we didn't. I just think she'll need a little space"

"So you guys are good now?"

"We're good. Are we good?" Freddie asked

Carly moved to a bean bag in front of him

"I should ask you that, I'm the one that's made everything such a mess" She said watching the floor.

"I'm pretty sure we can all split the blame down the middle" Freddie said trying to let a little humor crawl into his voice, but it didn't.

"I don't understand how things got this bad" Carly said in a low tone.

"If you did, I doubt we'd be here" Freddie said.

"So what now" Carly asked a little ashamed she didn't know what to say even though this was her arrangement.

"We don't have to have some big revelation or coming of age understanding Carly. We can just…forgive"

Freddie wasn't sure where the words came from, but with each word that passed he found that he actually believed them. He didn't want any more drawn out conversations that would lead to nothing but hurt. He didn't want to hurt Carly anymore, he didn't want to bring anymore pain to his friends.

"It can't be that simple" Carly said shaking her head still not meeting Freddie's eyes.

"It can be Carly. We don't have to keep bringing up hurtful conversations"

Carly was quiet and Freddie hoped she would let things go but he doubted it. It didn't seem logical how things seemed to unravel around him, but he was adjusting, and part of that adjustment had him know they were going to talk about everything.

"Was I your first?" Carly asked bringing her eyes to meet his for the first time.

Freddie paused before answering "Of course"

Carly's face twisted into a cross between shame and betrayal

"You're lying" Carly said, though more to herself than Freddie

Freddie sighed "I'm not"

"I know you are"

"You can't know that"

"I know you Freddie"

"Do you? Hell Carly I'm not sure even I know myself"

"I know when you're lying" Carly reaffirmed but Freddie could tell his words had shaken her.

"And if I am?" Freddie said feeling himself withdraw from the conversation. Freddie sighed before continuing "then what? More fighting? I don't understand what you want from me Carly"

Carly shook her head trying to organize her thoughts "No I don't want to fight, I just want to understand things a little clearer"

Freddie stayed his eyes on hers, keeping his face blank of the fear and self loathing running through him.

"There's nothing to understand in that, you were my first, okay?" Freddie said and put belief in his words, she was after all his first in a way.

Carly held his eyes for a moment waiting for him to falter in her gaze as he always had, but he didn't and Carly turned her eyes away. She wasn't sure what to believe anymore, and she wasn't sure what answer she wanted from him. Maybe Freddie was right, maybe it was best they just forgive each other and start anew.

That was easier said than done though with the sex lying between them. Carly gave an internal grown and cursed her teenage hormones. She couldn't get to the truth through confrontation. She would have to let things be for now, let their relationships build once more, then maybe Freddie will trust her enough to tell her the truth. Carly was shaken from her thoughts as Freddie let out a chuckle.

"What?" Carly asked with an uncertain smile.

"You're thinking too hard, I can see it play out on your face"

Carly had a small laugh of her own.

"So" Freddie said sobering up, letting the word hang between them.

"Okay" Carly said

"Okay what"

"Okay, we forgive" Carly said

Freddie watched her a moment. He hadn't expected her to agree, but then again he didn't want to look a gifted horse in the mouth.

"Okay" Freddie said with a smile before standing.

Carly followed suit and both stood in front of each other. They stood in awkwardness for a moment before Freddie stuck out his hand in a handshake gesture. Carly took his hand into hers and smiled at how silly it all felt. On impulse she turned their handshake into a hug but Freddie retuned her hug, letting his arms wrap around her and giving her an affectionate squeeze. Freddie was quick to the end their hug, fearing an erection might bloom from the tame contact.

"I'm sorry for what I said. I never meant any of it." Carly said as they broke apart

"I know, I never meant to hurt you either" Freddie returned.

"We're good?"

"We're good" Freddie answered

**Benson Apartment**

Freddie let himself relax in his own bed for the first time in what felt like years. The talk with Sam and Carly seemed to be the hardest part of his day, as coming home had things run reasonably well with his mother. She had been her old self, minus the overbearing behavior. It seemed the entire situation had killed some of his mothers concern and affection. Freddie wasn't sure if he was sad or glad for that. The feeling that he was losing something he so dearly missed was prominent in the things he didn't want to think about. But think about everything he did.

Thinking about all the situations he had come through to end up where he was brought a reaction Freddie didn't expect.

He laughed.

As soon as the laugh came Freddie sobered up and stopped the laughter. He had laughed because he had pretended all the crap which he went through was funny…but it wasn't. All the crap that he went through was not a bad day he could laugh off like life was funny that way. Freddie turned away from the ceiling and buried his head into his pillow. He needed to sleep and stop the tears that threatened his regained normality.

**Same night 2:30am **

Lying on her side in the darkness of her room, Marissa felt her eye lids become heavy. She was grateful for that. Sleep had eluded her all night, with thoughts of Freddie plaguing her mind. Had things ended well tonight? She wasn't sure. Freddie had looked non committal the entire evening so she wasn't sure if she had done any wrong. Still tommorow would be another test and she had to sleep. She yawned lazily as her eye lids fluttered closed, bringing her vision and thoughts to darkness and haze.

She had the floating sensation come over her, but her peace was just as soon disturbed. She heard sounds, sounds she ignored. But then there was a shift in her balance and she broke out of her slight slumber. Groggy and almost drooling Marissa woke to take a concerned look about her room. The darkness was too thick for her to see, but there was no need to look around as she felt the source of her waking.

She felt his breath on her neck before she felt the protruding member between her buttocks. She stiffened with a start, feeling her mouth go dry. Marissa craned her neck back to get a glimpse behind her. It was too dark to see clearly but she could make out Freddie's features in the dark.

"Fre-freddie?" Marissa stammered.

She got no answer but felt his hand graze the side of her belly as he hooked his thumb into her pajama bottoms and panties. He then began to pull them almost gently down her thighs. Marissa tensed and shook knowing she should stop him but couldn't bring herself to. His breath came again hot on her neck making her shudder. He followed up and licked her neck, his tongue warm, wet, and sloppy.

"Freddie you have to stop" she said her voice shaky but her body already responding to his touch.

He didn't respond but continued to pull down her bottoms and panties while his other hand burrowed under her side. She felt her panties clear her butt as his penis immediately made contact with her ass crack. She jumped a little at the contact but still didn't move or change her position. The hand that made its way under her emerged below her and began working itself under her top, feeling for her breast. She moaned a little but kept still hoping he would stop if she didn't respond to him. Freddie began to thrust at her bare bottom and with each thrust she felt her ass and crack wet with Freddie's pre-cum.

She didn't know how long Freddie had been thrusting at her but she felt his breathing coming out hotter and faster. There was a wetness building between her thighs as well and Marissa wasn't sure if it was a run from Freddie's cum or her own growing horniness. Marissa gave a small yelp as one of Freddie's miss aimed thrusts went in-between her thighs and grazed her pussy. Marissa had to bite down on her lip to keep the groaning moan from escaping her. She didn't know when she did but she found herself retuning each thrust Freddie took. She wanted him inside her but felt the remaining fear and uncertainty stop her from making any moves in return. The thrusting quickened and then she felt Freddie stiffen and grunt behind her. Hot and wet Marissa felt spray catch her thighs, panties and bed sheet.

The breathing on her neck slowed and the thrusts stopped after a few moments. Marissa wasn't sure what would happen next but felt a small disappointment that it was over. She kept still and felt Freddie relax behind her before he slowly disentangled himself from her. Marissa expected Freddie to say something but she got no words, only snoring. She didn't understand what was happening for a moment then slowly she turned to look into the darkness that held Freddie. He was turned away from her asleep. She was stunned a moment, then she was not. Sleep walking. Was he sleep walking? Marissa wondered. Was it even possible to perform sexual acts while half conscious? Probably. Marissa recalled a few incidents of the nature on the news times ago, but she always believed they were bullshit. Men trying to escape prison after being caught fondling their babysitters.

Marissa turned to lie on her back as she let what just happened sink in, and what she would do about it. Was there anything to do about it? Freddie probably wouldn't remember any way. Still that wasn't the point. She had vowed not to hurt Freddie anymore, could this have been a side effect of their acts together?. Who was she kidding, it probably was. Marissa sighed feeling her self-loathing return once more. She turned her back on Freddie to lie on her side, she needed to sleep and forget for the moment, just a few moments of peace.

Marissa let her eyes close but still her consciousness didn't dull, and even more prominent was her need to pleasure herself. Freddie's touch had left her in want. She hated herself for it but she couldn't help her thoughts returning to the feel of Freddie's penis rubbing against her.

She didn't notice when thought turned into action but found her hand drifting down in-between her legs. She was already wet so she was quick with the in out, in out. At first a finger was enough but as she replayed Freddie's touches on her moments ago she had a second and third inside herself. Marissa wasn't conscious of her actions anymore, she was just a haze of want and incestuous thoughts.

Marisa rolled onto her back, forgetting about the son at her side or the promises made in earnest hours and days ago. She spread her legs to allow better access for her fingers, and soon couldn't help the moans escaping her. She bit on her lip to quiet herself but her semi humping motions might have woken Freddie beside her. This went unnoticed by Marissa as the pleasure overtook her and brought shudders and euphoria to her.

A few more minutes of pleasuring herself was as long as Marissa could hold out and soon came hard. When the moment of bliss hit she felt her vision whiteout and lost her consciousness to a complete state of euphoria.

Marissa's eyes were on the ceiling above her but she saw nothing of it, she was still high off the dying pleasure. Still her vision and thinking returned as the orgasm's effect passed, and with them came the unavoidable feeling of self-loathing. Depression settled in with her, and as her breathing returned to normal Marissa turned on her side as if to shield herself from her own thoughts. Staring blankly at the wall ahead Marissa felt doubt sink into her resolution. Sleep eventually came for her, but her slumber was not a peaceful one.

…**.**

…**.**

**A.N: Hi there, I've had this...chapter a while and I didn't want to publish it because I wasn't sure I'll continue this fic. I'm still not sure but here it is.**


End file.
